Hi everyone, I am 26 year old married mother of three. I finally feel free! Islam has been a burden for my whole life. I was born in Canada into a moderately religious family. It was not until I was 16 that my parents and all my relatives started to become annoyingly religious. Since I wasn't the model muslim, they shipped me off to Syria for some straightening up. I did. I was brainwashed then I came back to Canada hijab and all. I was 18 then. 2 months later I was pressured to marry my cousin, a moderately religious man. It was not until recently that my sister (who regretfully lives in Syria with her extremely religious husband) came for a visit that we discussed the topic of Islam. It was then that we both realized that we were both having doubts about the authenticity of the quran and especially of the hadith. The prophet was also a major issue for me, having married a child.
It is now ramadan, and it is my first ramadan that I don't fast. Of course everyone thinks that I am fasting. I have to keep my apostasy a secret, for if anyone knew and as everyone knows, I would be basically shunned. I wear the hijab but plan on taking it off after ramadan. I just hate being classified as a muslim just because of that. I hate wearing it and have for a very long time. I don't feel bad anymore for not praying. I'm not constantly scared that I'm going to hell. I don't exactly know where I stand on the whole God issue, but at least I know now that I can never go back to being a devout muslim. I actually feel sorry for all the muslim people living in a bubble.
Hi Reems,
it was nice reading about ur life now.
but please tell me how do u hide the fact ur not a muslim anymore? I mean when ur not praying or fasting doesnt ur husband wonder why? obvouisly with fasting you just dont eat in front of him, but still it must be VERY difficult...how do u get round it?
im finding it particularly difficult as my dad asked me a few times if i am keeping my fasts etc coz i think sometimes he can sense that im not fasting. my mum knows how i feel about islam, but she doesnt get angry, she just says that i shud beleive etc. but i dont blame her. she is a traditional women who was brainwahsed back in the days.
Topic: Ex-Muslim