Hi there

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- smudge59
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Hi there
OP - September 16, 2009, 09:18 PM

I am a 20 year old university student currently studying in London. My parents are strictly muslim which has caused and is continuing to cause problems. I can't keep ties with people who are so insistent on attempting to push their way of life onto my own. However I cannot continue my studies without their financial aid. I've just finished my second year of university and have to continue lying to them for the next two years. I could get a job during term time but it would be detrimental to my studies. I have worked during the summer, but the money made just isn't enough. The loans provided to me barely cover my accomadation fees. Once I have graduated I plan to cut all ties and move away from them.
I just don't know what I can do in the mean time. The arguments are getting more and more heated. I just don't know if I can take another two years. If only religion wasn't such a pain.
- Cheetah
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Re: Hi there
Reply #1 - September 16, 2009, 09:22 PM

Welcome Smudge.

Yes, religion is indeed a total pain. Especially when people think they can shove it down your throat. However, I think in your situation I would just keep my head down and not bother rowing, just bide your time.

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- PeruvianSkies
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Re: Hi there
Reply #2 - September 16, 2009, 09:25 PM

I'm sorry to hear that smudge You need to hold your ground for the next two years no matter how hard it is, it will be worth it in the end How often do you need to see your parents?

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- smudge59
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Re: Hi there
Reply #3 - September 16, 2009, 09:36 PM

Quote from: Cheetah on September 16, 2009, 09:22 PM
Welcome Smudge.

Yes, religion is indeed a total pain. Especially when people think they can shove it down your throat. However, I think in your situation I would just keep my head down and not bother rowing, just bide your time.

Thing is I can't keep my head down any longer. I've kepy my head down since I was 12 and just gave up at 16. I just can't go to mosques, fast and attend religios events anymore. It's killing me inside.

Quote from: PeruvianSkies on September 16, 2009, 09:25 PM
I'm sorry to hear that smudge You need to hold your ground for the next two years no matter how hard it is, it will be worth it in the end How often do you need to see your parents?

Well during holiday times only. I try to find accomadation for about 37/38 weeks of the year when I am at university. When I move back with my parents they provide with free accommodation, which I need if I am to survive univeristy without breaking the bank.

It will be worth it of course. As soon as I am financially secure I can be free.
- Saif Rahman
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Re: Hi there
Reply #4 - September 16, 2009, 10:07 PM

Hi Smudge and welcome - its not just the fault of the religion, as there are those who have a very modern interpretation of Islam and it causes little hindrance at all. I am an ex-muslim but if you find it draws you comfort and helps you then stick with it and let it work for you with your discussions with your parents.

In any case let us know what brought you here, how you came across the site, and where you currently stand with Islam?

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- cosmicdancer
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Re: Hi there
Reply #5 - September 16, 2009, 10:14 PM

Quote from: smudge59 on September 16, 2009, 09:18 PM
I am a 20 year old university student currently studying in London. My parents are strictly muslim which has caused and is continuing to cause problems. I can't keep ties with people who are so insistent on attempting to push their way of life onto my own. However I cannot continue my studies without their financial aid. I've just finished my second year of university and have to continue lying to them for the next two years. I could get a job during term time but it would be detrimental to my studies. I have worked during the summer, but the money made just isn't enough. The loans provided to me barely cover my accomadation fees. Once I have graduated I plan to cut all ties and move away from them.
I just don't know what I can do in the mean time. The arguments are getting more and more heated. I just don't know if I can take another two years. If only religion wasn't such a pain.

Welcome, Smudge - my advice is don't be confrontational. Try to show love and respect to your parents - finish your studies - then do what you want.
- PeruvianSkies
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Re: Hi there
Reply #6 - September 16, 2009, 10:38 PM

There are quite a few of us on this site in your situation smudge. I'm in uni too and have to pretend to my parents that I'm a muslim for the time being. I'll be doing my last year now, gunna wait for a few months before I tell them I'm moving out for good and that I'm an apostate.

Just hang in there. It's tough but it will be worth it!

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~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
- HighOctane
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Re: Hi there
Reply #7 - September 16, 2009, 10:52 PM

Hey Mate, you're not alone. I'm another in the same situation too, in fact I was forced just this evening to go to the Mosque since my mum phone up my aunt. I decided she will get crazy for a week, so I went.

My advice is to respect your parent's faith, try not to be confrontational, just hang in there. Make yourself busy, stay out of the house as much as possible, say you're at the library. Don't let it risk your studies.

Unless it's violently threatening, stay home and get through it mate. Sucks, but hey, there are still many people who'd love to be in your position with your life ahead after uni. Btw, welcome!!

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- osmanthus
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Re: Hi there
Reply #8 - September 17, 2009, 12:12 AM

Good advice there, HighOctane. And welcome to the forum Smudge.

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- HighOctane
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Re: Hi there
Reply #9 - September 17, 2009, 02:54 AM

Thanks. Hope it can help Smudge. Good to have PeruvianSkies here for an additional perspective too.

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- SE-man
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Re: Hi there
Reply #10 - September 17, 2009, 09:15 AM

There was a poem a while ago, posted by Peru I think, which stated that "your children is not your property, but have a free will of their own" A wonderful thing which I however never bookmarked :-(

If anybody can point to it, it might be a good thing to print out and put on the wall for your parent's consideration.

I bet one can also find some pretty calligraphic writings of it.
- osmanthus
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Re: Hi there
Reply #11 - September 17, 2009, 09:23 AM

That was posted by Allat and was a poem by Kahlil Gibram. I'll dig it up for you.

ETA: Found it. http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=3776.msg164511#msg164511

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- SE-man
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Re: Hi there
Reply #12 - September 17, 2009, 09:31 AM

Much appreciated.
- youcansee
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Re: Hi there
Reply #13 - September 18, 2009, 08:37 PM

hey :]
hang in there for now~ and just enjoy time with them
who knows what happens when you leave them
im like you , just hanging in there for sake of uni. though uni for me is next year. epp
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