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Theme Changer

 Topic: My horrible Eid

 (Read 7282 times)
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  • My horrible Eid
     OP - September 20, 2009, 10:14 PM
    My horrible Eid started when I woke up late (8.30am on a Sunday) and realized that I hadn't done any Eid shopping for myself. So I just wore normal clothes and had breakfast. By this time I realized that I had missed Eid prayers so I just went straight to my in laws for lunch. En route my wife decided to stop outside a shopping centre and asked me to wait for her. She emerged 30 minutes later with 2 shopping bags and SUPRISE shw had bought me some Eid clothes without even asking me if i wanted any. Do i just told her she could return them tomorrow becausr i didnt fancy driving home to change again. So a small argument ensued.After a fairly bland meal at the in laws I watched the football and went to visit my mum. Instead of getting the usual hugs and kisses my mother yelled at me for missing Eid prayers. She then sat me down and gave me an hour lecture about how I was drifting away from the faith and didn't even care about the basics anymore. She threw all sorts of hadith at me and I was so tempted to tell her I didn't believe anymore. After that angry lecture we went home and put the kids to sleep. My wife then decided to start an argument about my lack of care about Eid as a whole.

    All in all it's been a shit day for me. I hope all Eids are not like this.

    A very depressed Pakman
    Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #1 - September 20, 2009, 10:17 PM
    That sux. Sorry to hear it went so shitty for you.
    I chose to get circumcised at 17, don't tell me I never believed.
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #2 - September 20, 2009, 10:20 PM
    Pakman - you mums reaction is not yours or even her fault.  Blame Mohammed  finmad 
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  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #3 - September 20, 2009, 10:34 PM
    Mine was crappy as well, but for other reasons , still today was a real stupid bad day for me , u are not alone! far away hug
    أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأن محمدآ عبده ورسوله
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #4 - September 20, 2009, 10:36 PM
    Sorry, don't know your circs or where you are Pakman, but why don't you just say what you think?
    Ha Ha.
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #5 - September 20, 2009, 10:57 PM
    Sorry to hear that. You did well to contain yourself.
    Hear ye -->> DONATE TO CEMB

    Relativism | Cognitive dissonance | Cognitive biases | Memeplex | Consequentialism
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #6 - September 20, 2009, 11:18 PM
    Quote from: pakman on September 20, 2009, 10:14 PM
    My horrible Eid started when I woke up late (8.30am on a Sunday)

    I wouldn't really call that late. I woke up at 3pm  wacko , which rendered my whole day as shit due to excessive sleep.
    "In every time and culture there are pressures to conform to the prevailing prejudices. But there are also, in every place and epoch, those who value the truth; who record the evidence faithfully. Future generations are in their debt." -Carl Sagan

  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #7 - September 20, 2009, 11:27 PM
    I did my prayers at home with my parents. Sorry 2 hear yours was shit but if you got religious family it happens. My parents are not that strict when it comes to faith but hey you win some, you lose some. I know if missed prayers my mother would have been angry at me. Trust me it is worth praying 10 minutes so you can enjoy a happy day with family.
    "The ideal tyranny is that which is ignorantly self-administered by its victims. The most perfect slaves are, therefore, those which blissfully and unawaredly enslave themselves."
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #8 - September 20, 2009, 11:43 PM
    Sorry you have to put up with all that. For some people, it's just not enough to love their family members, all these fantasy tales and meaningless rituals...  wacko
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #9 - September 21, 2009, 03:30 AM
    To pakman. Don't worry. I have not been to Salat Al-Eid for about 7 years. My line of defence to my family and friends who asks me about why I did not go was that: Salat Eid is Sunna only and not Fard "mandatory" so I really don't have to go. I used to tell them that Muslims are supposed to pray 5 times a day and that is it. So my Advice is to take it easy and let them know that Islam is what in the Quran only. What Mohamed (PBUH) did is Sunna that might get me extra points but not in the curiculum of the Islam religion.
    ...
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #10 - September 21, 2009, 06:09 AM
    Sorry to hear you had a shitty day, for me eid was like any other day, no meal with the family, no pretending to pray for the sake of it, no new things to wear for me or my kids.

    My kids were with their dad and from what they tell me he did nothing with them, nor did he buy them anything, nor did any of their muslim extended family, which is fine with me, now eid seems empty and pointless to them.  Afro

    Soon by Xmas.  Tongue
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #11 - September 21, 2009, 06:30 AM
    Eid wasn't going to be something to celebrate for the entire family because of the death in the family. I just got up around 8.30am as normal had breakfast pottered about the house and went for a run. Went over to my mothers house late afternoon, where my sister decided to question me about my atheism. I told her to read the sources again objectively and not to take at face value for the "scholars" tell her. After some appeal to emotion and ad-homs, she asked my wife while I was out of the room. My wife diplomatically told her that I was an adult and knew what I was doing. Nobody was gonna influence my choice.

    It didn't spoil eid too much though. Later in the evening I took my mum to my uncles house where the parents of the girl that died were staying. I said my bit to them sat around for a while and just chatted to my uncle. My mamoo did ask me why I didn't go to eid namaz this morning. I told him that I couldn't be asked and that I would have this discussion with him later on. This is my older mamoo the "just in case" muslim. I'm slowly letting all the relations know or the ones that deserve to know and won't get into a fanatical fit.

    The kids are off school today so we'll be taking them bowling or the cinema etc.
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #12 - September 21, 2009, 07:24 AM
    Quote from: Infidel on September 20, 2009, 11:18 PM
    I wouldn't really call that late. I woke up at 3pm  wacko , which rendered my whole day as shit due to excessive sleep.

    Love your avatar!
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  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #13 - September 21, 2009, 08:01 AM
    Nice avatar indeed.  Afro

    I guess religious people needs an urgent software update. They are very much prone to hellisious viruses!! Cheesy
    ...
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #14 - September 21, 2009, 08:23 AM
    Quote from: IsLame on September 21, 2009, 07:24 AM
    Love your avatar!

    Quote from: RIBS on September 21, 2009, 08:01 AM
    Nice avatar indeed.  Afro

    Thanks  Smiley
    For sake of honesty, I 'borrowed' it from someone posting at Richard Dawkins' website  Roll Eyes
    "In every time and culture there are pressures to conform to the prevailing prejudices. But there are also, in every place and epoch, those who value the truth; who record the evidence faithfully. Future generations are in their debt." -Carl Sagan

  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #15 - September 21, 2009, 02:13 PM
    Things are getting worse. It seems Eid has been a watershed moment. I was having a conversation with my wife today and she said ' you have no religion in you whatsoever'. I just stayed quite and then changed the subject. Do you think she knows?
    Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #16 - September 21, 2009, 02:18 PM
    She probably thinks you've lost your way. I don't think she'll label you as an apostate, most muslims I know tend to never think of that possibility as it scares them.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #17 - September 21, 2009, 02:19 PM
    Quote from: pakman on September 21, 2009, 02:13 PM
    Things are getting worse. It seems Eid has been a watershed moment. I was having a conversation with my wife today and she said ' you have no religion in you whatsoever'. I just stayed quite and then changed the subject. Do you think she knows?

    No but it sounds like its about time that she did?  How come you have not told her -  Is your wife Pakistani, or was she born here?
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  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #18 - September 21, 2009, 02:22 PM
    She was born in Pak but has lived here most of her life.
    Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #19 - September 21, 2009, 02:51 PM
    Maintaining that sort of deception with the people to whom you are closest will inevitably become too difficult a task. There comes a point where I guess you have to come clean. Very tricky.
    Look not above, there is no answer there;
    Pray not, for no one listens to your prayer;
    Near is as near to God as any Far,
    And Here is just the same deceit as There.

    - Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #20 - September 21, 2009, 02:55 PM
    It wouldn't be so bad if religion wasnt that important to her.
    Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #21 - September 21, 2009, 03:07 PM
    Thats the tough part, explaining to people that you dont believe in something that they have fallen hook line & sink for.  The problem here I guess, being irreligious is just as important to you and you have to think about your own sanity too.

    Have you thought about the softly approach and 'half-apostizing' - i.e. saying that you are still a muslim, but you are a cultral relativist and believe there was a time & place for all these rules.  

    Now all that matters is being a good person, and that is how Allah decides if you are going to heaven.  Easy to argue and pretty much allows you to lead the life you want to..
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #22 - September 21, 2009, 03:43 PM
    Yes I have tried that Islame and it kind of worked. But when I missed Eid prayers, didn't make any effort on Eid and criticised a cousins itikaaf as silly - it kind of ticked her off.
    Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #23 - September 21, 2009, 04:08 PM
    Quote from: pakman on September 21, 2009, 03:43 PM
    Yes I have tried that Islame and it kind of worked. But when I missed Eid prayers, didn't make any effort on Eid and criticised a cousins itikaaf as silly - it kind of ticked her off.

    I would've done the same, and none of my family would object(and they're religious). Seriously who the fuck dose itikaaf in Eid?
    "In every time and culture there are pressures to conform to the prevailing prejudices. But there are also, in every place and epoch, those who value the truth; who record the evidence faithfully. Future generations are in their debt." -Carl Sagan

  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #24 - September 21, 2009, 04:55 PM
    Go islamic.

    Ask your wife, to come up with a single time in islamic history, that she thinks we should revive today. Which islamic leader, and which islamic dynasty, she thinks will be a good culture to bring back. Tell her you can not think of any.

    Let her know that you believe it is your duty to marry more women so you can have more kids. Let her know you think it is wrong since you love your wife very much and do not hurt her, but still think it is your duty and might have to do things you do not like. Let her know that you are just thinking about it and do not plan on taking any actions and that you will consult her before taking any such action. Tell her the imam can arrange for a second wife back home but the proposition really bugs you since you think it is wrong.

    Also let her know that, you are also debating with yourself if you should implement the koran correctly and beat her. Tell her if she consent to being beat every now and then. If beating is something you both would like to introduce into the house.

    Let her know you are re-evaluating islam and once you come to a conclusion you will discuss it with her.
    "Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.' So the Apostle called Burayra to ask her. Ali got up and gave her a violent beating first, saying, 'Tell the Apostle the truth.'"
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #25 - September 21, 2009, 04:58 PM
    Come up with the islamic rules. Let her know that you are considering if this list of actions should be implemented in the house or not.

    Music, left hand, sleep on your back, certain sex positions to go out the window, etc..
    "Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.' So the Apostle called Burayra to ask her. Ali got up and gave her a violent beating first, saying, 'Tell the Apostle the truth.'"
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #26 - September 21, 2009, 05:26 PM
    The only way to deal with this is to tell her that you are having doubts rather than saying that you have apostated. Tell her that you are reading into and investigating. If she asks you about your doubts, lay them out. Remember this is somebody who you are going to to spending the rest of your life with and is the mother of your children. I would have thought she's the one who deserves to know more than anyone else.
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #27 - September 21, 2009, 08:25 PM
    Quote
    she's the one who deserves to know more than anyone else.

    Why? and if the couple enters a fight like all other couples do, you do not think this matter might creep on them and cause problems?
    "Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.' So the Apostle called Burayra to ask her. Ali got up and gave her a violent beating first, saying, 'Tell the Apostle the truth.'"
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #28 - September 21, 2009, 08:30 PM
    Quote from: Baal on September 21, 2009, 08:25 PM
    Why? and if the couple enters a fight like all other couples do, you do not think this matter might creep on them and cause problems?


    ...And why not? How long is he gonna keep something like this from her? After all I'm sure he doesn't want to live a lie and neither does he want to pretend to his children?
  • Re: My horrible Eid
     Reply #29 - September 21, 2009, 08:33 PM
    Its like the elephant in the room, she knows I'm a skeptic and I read Ibn Warraq openly in front of her and every now and then raise the odd difficult question. But she doesn't want to face it because she can't stand the idea of beng married to a kafir. We were discussing giving the kids an Islamic education the other day, I insisted I didn't want them to go to the Mosque and will teach them Islam myself.

    Things are getting harder and I will have to have that conversation one day. She is also a big mouth and will tell everyone which means I will be ostricised.

    Damn I just need a break from this Muslim life.
    Take the Pakman challenge and convince me there is a God and Mo was not a murdering, power hungry sex maniac.
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