I was a murtad, i kinda understand how she felt. In the end, she could be ended up as Muslim again like me, or she will stay murtad. It shouldnt be a big deal for anyone else, it's just life !
Hi there.
Some of you may know me as KimDonesia. I was quite a popular Muslim Youtuber and blogger.
I appeared on TV in the Middle East, in magazines, on many blogs, on Turkish radio, etc. I was a role model Muslim who received praise from the majority of Muslims online, and
"haram haram haram" from a lot of the stricter Muslims.
On my 18th birthday my 14-year-old dog had to be put down, which triggered a depression. I was at home all the time, and thought a lot about the Hereafter. I feared for my non-Muslim family, and was constantly praying for them to be guided to Islam so that they could be saved from eternal Jahannam (Hellfire). I even thought of making my death wish
"you must convert to Islam before you all die".
One night, I had a long conversation with my mother and told her my worries. I explained to her that my perception of God was not the God in the Qur'an who constantly talked about punishment of Hell for the disbelievers... Seriously, that's what it's like. All throughout, it's basically
"the disbelievers will go to Hell forever, and God is most Merciful, most Forgiving". I realized that I was only a Muslim out of fear of Hellfire, and being brainwashed.
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Don't get me wrong, I still respect Muslims. Islam was a big part of my life for quite a while. I simply disagree with Islam, for if there is a God (yup, 100% Agnostic now), He/She/It would not be so desperate for worship. People say "you need God, He doesn't need you". Doesn't seem like it.
Quran doesnt say that non Muslims will go to hell, it only said if we dont become Muslim then it will be our disadvantage on earth and in hereafter. I didnt understand too why Allah wants to be worshiped while he's such an omnipotent deity. Now i understand that Allah/God/any names of the divine deity is not immaterial, but it consists of substance/energy. Substance/energy need another source/catalyst that support it, but religion has claimed there's also a substance/energy which is the "primal cause" of any life that it doesnt need any other source to exist. I once only believed the first one, but i got drifted into metaphysic long time ago then i believed that God could be the first one (substance that need support by human prayer for it), and after a while i started to believe they both are true and my "journey" answered why do we need to worship God ? I found out praying/worshipping's for our own good, cos us Human need to be supported by God's energy since we were born, while we also still need it in life for our own benefit to purify our existing energy to keep it "positive" (Chi in Chinese), and the media for it is prayer/worship/meditation. I havent yet got any proof that God's energy need to be supported.
So, it's not only Islam who will be the "backstage pass" for a "promising" hereafter, but there are other spirituality and religion as well. But the only complete guide for it, between all 3 "Abrahamic" religions is Islam (from the worship "technique", answering question of life, answering question of hereafter, and so on). And that just it. So, anyone dont have to be religious to be spiritual, including Agnostic. For me (personally) i tried everything else but only Islam is the best for my self developement and everything, and for everyone else things can be different & it's just normal.
Al Baqarah : 62
Surely those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the Christians, and the Sabians (believers of the unseen), whoever believes in Allah and the Last day and does good, they shall have their reward from their Lord, and there is no fear for them, nor shall they grieve.
It's funny that Muslims talk about Islam being a religion of peace when trying to bring people to Islam, but threaten to kill somebody who leaves Islam. *sigh* Gotta love double standards...
Thats awful.. Youve been a Muslim once, of course you know about 2:256. Whoever did that to you dont deserve to call themselves "Muslims".
Topic: Famous Muslim to infamous Murtad