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 Topic: Berbs Blog, much madness within

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  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #750 - May 30, 2008, 09:20 PM
    Quote from: Serquet11 on May 30, 2008, 07:33 PM
    Soon I will be in the process of buying a house... so, gotta buy before I refinance myself into more mega debt. wacko



    Okay, why not sell some stuff you don't really need, do a boot sale or something, then go to vegas, gamble it, win a fortune, and split it? Sorted Afro
    Ha Ha.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #751 - May 31, 2008, 11:09 AM
    Have no idea why I am doing this but I have agreed to go for dinner at my parents house today, just in the middle of getting the kids ready.  Don't really feel like going out today either but they made me promise. banghead

    I know why I've agreed to go, I'm worried about my step mother, she is extremely depressed at the moment, on medication that isn't working, and the last time she called me a few days ago she was crying and having suicidal thoughts.  Whatever she did to me as a child, I am still too caring over her wellbeing, I pity her that she ever married my father, because it is my father I blame the most for my childhood.

    She married him young and wasn't even his first choice.  He requested to marry her younger sister, but the parents refused saying she was too young "here have our older one instead" and since my father was being forced into marriage to a muslim girl based on our natural mother being the kaffir that ran off  Roll Eyes he just went along with it.

    Brings her over here and has his own personal slave, someone he teaches to shop but never takes out for a meal or shows any sign of love and appreciation.  Who he goes 6 months upwards ignoring in the house.  He is a cold man my father, he plays games with all of us, one day you are his favourite the next day he has a new one and he makes every effort to make sure you know just how much on the outside of his special circle you really are.

    He has done many bad things to her and I think she cracked along time ago. 

    So I go to try and convince her that it's better to cut her losses, because he keeps her as a slave and nothing more. sad
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #752 - May 31, 2008, 11:26 AM
    this is the woman who beat you into a coma, right? And burnt you and your sisters with white-hot knives, right?
    Berbs, you are a much better Christian, than I could ever hope to be.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #753 - May 31, 2008, 11:31 AM
    Indeed. Your compassion is commendable. Unless she was psychotic or temporarily insane when she did those things, I doubt I would be capable of forgiving these things. Then again I was raised to believe that forgiveness was a weakness by my ex-Protestant father.
    If we could live without passion, maybe we would know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we would be truly dead.

    -
    The Quickest Path to Hate is True Love Betrayed.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #754 - May 31, 2008, 11:41 AM
    Quote from: Sir Galahad on May 31, 2008, 11:31 AM
    Indeed. Your compassion is commendable. Unless she was psychotic or temporarily insane when she did those things, I doubt I would be capable of forgiving these things. Then again I was raised to believe that forgiveness was a weakness by my ex-Protestant father.

    that must be the "ex" part, since even protestants would claim that forgiveness is DIVINE and one of the foremost things a christian should strive for.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #755 - May 31, 2008, 11:54 AM
    Quote from: diotima on May 31, 2008, 11:26 AM
    this is the woman who beat you into a coma, right? And burnt you and your sisters with white-hot knives, right?
    Berbs, you are a much better Christian, than I could ever hope to be.


    Yes Embarrassed It's her, I know I should hate her more, and of course others would stop speaking to her, but one of my biggest failings in life is how forgiving and empathic I can be, even to my enemies.  wacko

    Quote from: Sir Galahad on May 31, 2008, 11:31 AM
    Indeed. Your compassion is commendable. Unless she was psychotic or temporarily insane when she did those things, I doubt I would be capable of forgiving these things. Then again I was raised to believe that forgiveness was a weakness by my ex-Protestant father.


    I actually see it is a weakness of mine too, it's not a part of me I'm proud of.

    I just feel I understand my step mother, I understand her pain, I don't agree that the way she lashed out on us was fair, but she has begged my forgiveness on many occasions, she has tried to make up for what she did.

    When my father wouldn't speak to me as a teenager it was her who would come to me and bring me food and money.

    She was raised in a culture where beating children was the appropriate thing to do and my father kept her too busy to learn even the language of this country let alone another way to cope with children.  She was abused as a child too, it's a cycle of violence that needs to stop with someone, hopefully my generation is where it stops.

    She only just started learning english 2yrs ago when she defied my father and started evening lessons.

    I am making excuses for her, but I am not lifting her completely from blame for what happened, she holds alot of responsibility and she has to live with what she did which isn't easy for her as I know she feels immense guilt.

    If the Islamic thing starts today or she goes on about a new husband for me, I will just tune out, I mostly want to make sure she is ok and let her know that she isn't alone.

    Maybe her seeing that I am still a good person inside will make it easier for her to accept eventually that I'm not a muslim anymore and never going to be again.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #756 - May 31, 2008, 01:09 PM
    TRUE forgiveness is not a weakness, but requires enormous strength, Berbs. It is easy to hate. Hate comes naturally.
    To NOT hate, and not merely HIDE the hate even from ourselves (false forgiveness) but truly forgive is amongst the finest, most noble things a human being is capable of.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #757 - May 31, 2008, 03:50 PM
    post deleted.
    If we could live without passion, maybe we would know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we would be truly dead.

    -
    The Quickest Path to Hate is True Love Betrayed.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #758 - May 31, 2008, 03:58 PM
    deleted.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #759 - May 31, 2008, 04:35 PM
    If you do not wish to be addressed, do not address me first.
    If we could live without passion, maybe we would know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we would be truly dead.

    -
    The Quickest Path to Hate is True Love Betrayed.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #760 - May 31, 2008, 04:39 PM
    Quote from: Sir Galahad on May 31, 2008, 04:35 PM
    If you do not wish to be addressed, do not address me first.


    I didn´t, strictly speaking. I was impersonally adressing a POINT.

    Bye.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #761 - May 31, 2008, 05:49 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 31, 2008, 11:54 AM

    I actually see it is a weakness of mine too, it's not a part of me I'm proud of.



    Is that how you really view forgiveness, as a weakness to be ashamed of?
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #762 - May 31, 2008, 07:49 PM
    I think is someone has genuine remorse, you should forgive them. Even for the most evil of crimes. Punishing never solved anything.
    Left the forum: http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=22997
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #763 - May 31, 2008, 09:44 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on May 31, 2008, 05:49 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 31, 2008, 11:54 AM

    I actually see it is a weakness of mine too, it's not a part of me I'm proud of.



    Is that how you really view forgiveness, as a weakness to be ashamed of?


    Yes it is, being too forgiving is a trait other people use to their own advantage.  A weakness that they can use against you.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #764 - May 31, 2008, 09:48 PM
    So I just got back from my parents house, and aside from them trying to get my son to start saying all the usual islamic jargon after food is finished, and aside from the hours of "why don't you want to get married again, I know someone who is blah blah blah" or the explanation to why women are not fit to rule a country, it wasn't all that bad.  Roll Eyes

    My father tried to speak with me but our relationship is so strained that conversation never comes easily between us so it was a non starter really.

    Lately I had found myself missing the culture and the community aspect of it, but thanks to today I am back to remembering what I most dislike about it all lol.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #765 - May 31, 2008, 09:49 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 31, 2008, 09:44 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on May 31, 2008, 05:49 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 31, 2008, 11:54 AM

    I actually see it is a weakness of mine too, it's not a part of me I'm proud of.



    Is that how you really view forgiveness, as a weakness to be ashamed of?


    Yes it is, being too forgiving is a trait other people use to their own advantage.  A weakness that they can use against you.



    Do you not want others to forgive you ever?
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #766 - May 31, 2008, 09:52 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on May 31, 2008, 09:49 PM


    Do you not want others to forgive you ever?


    Sure, but being too forgiving is what I call a weakness, not having some forgiveness, I thought I had made the distinction clear  wacko.

    It was being too forgiving that got me into that mess with my ex.  Eventually you have to stop forgiving right?  to carry on is just pathetic.  ( I speak from pathetic experience )
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #767 - May 31, 2008, 10:03 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 31, 2008, 09:52 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on May 31, 2008, 09:49 PM


    Do you not want others to forgive you ever?


    Sure, but being too forgiving is what I call a weakness, not having some forgiveness, I thought I had made the distinction clear  wacko.

    It was being too forgiving that got me into that mess with my ex.  Eventually you have to stop forgiving right?  to carry on is just pathetic.  ( I speak from pathetic experience )


    Also, forgiving easily usually leads to FORGETTING. You should never forget. That is a weakness. Repeating the same mistakes, trusting the same people. Bad, bad.
    "Poor human nature, what horrible crimes have been committed in thy name!"
    - Emma Goldman
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #768 - May 31, 2008, 10:10 PM
    Quote from: Iggy on May 31, 2008, 10:03 PM


    Also, forgiving easily usually leads to FORGETTING. You should never forget. That is a weakness. Repeating the same mistakes, trusting the same people. Bad, bad.


    I know sad it really is a failing, but i'm getting better at stopping the forgiveness sooner.

    Once or twice, maybe a third time because I'm weak like that, afterwards it has to stop.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #769 - May 31, 2008, 10:24 PM
    Quote from: Iggy on May 31, 2008, 10:03 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 31, 2008, 09:52 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on May 31, 2008, 09:49 PM


    Do you not want others to forgive you ever?


    Sure, but being too forgiving is what I call a weakness, not having some forgiveness, I thought I had made the distinction clear  wacko.

    It was being too forgiving that got me into that mess with my ex.  Eventually you have to stop forgiving right?  to carry on is just pathetic.  ( I speak from pathetic experience )


    Also, forgiving easily usually leads to FORGETTING. You should never forget. That is a weakness. Repeating the same mistakes, trusting the same people. Bad, bad.


    I think you might be getting the concept of forgiveness a little confused here.

    Many would see being 'too forgiving'  as a great virtue and not a weakness. Isn't it a theme of many of those very 'inspirational' type of quotes Berbs was mentioning before? I've never heard one that read 'don't be too forgiving', or what have you.

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #770 - May 31, 2008, 10:25 PM
    Something funny to consider, the other day I went for a drink at a bar/pub in central london with my sister, and when I asked her what she wanted she said just a coke, I was kind of shocked because she used to have a drink or two but now she said no.

    So I asked her why, quite loudly lol and she explained it's because she was praying and it was haram (yes, my eyes started rolling  Roll Eyes).  I started doing the devil thing, fitna spreading berbs and all, and saying go on have one, you know you want to.  The barmaid asked what was going on so I said my sisters refusing to have a drink, and the bar maid said "Why on earth don't you drink alcohol" my sister replies "I'm a muslim" and the barmaid said "And?"  Cheesy

    So we go and sit down outside me with my booze and her with her coke and the barmaid comes out to join us for a fag, and turns out she is a "muslim" from Turkey, working in a bar, and drinking and smoking, and the man at the table next to ours joins in the conversation turns out to be algerian "muslim" also smoking and drinking.  Cheesy

    Just made me really stop and appreciate how diverse the way people view islam are.  The algerian said anything I do is between me and allah and the nutty imams can go take a running jump if they think any differently.

    Was an interesting conversation between us all, and none of them bat an eyelid at me being an ex muslim.  Wink
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #771 - May 31, 2008, 10:27 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on May 31, 2008, 10:24 PM


    I think you might be getting the concept of forgiveness a little confused here.

    Many would see being 'too forgiving'  as a great virtue and not a weakness. Isn't it a theme of many of those very 'inspirational' type of quotes Berbs was mentioning before? I've never heard one that read 'don't be too forgiving', or what have you.




    No, none of the quotes I posted had anything to do with forgiveness and never have done. Nor will they ever.

    Sure many would see it as a virtue, but that's them, I am me, and I don't.

    It's a weakness.
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #772 - May 31, 2008, 10:38 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 31, 2008, 10:25 PM
    Something funny to consider, the other day I went for a drink at a bar/pub in central london with my sister, and when I asked her what she wanted she said just a coke, I was kind of shocked because she used to have a drink or two but now she said no.

    So I asked her why, quite loudly lol and she explained it's because she was praying and it was haram (yes, my eyes started rolling  Roll Eyes).  I started doing the devil thing, fitna spreading berbs and all, and saying go on have one, you know you want to.  The barmaid asked what was going on so I said my sisters refusing to have a drink, and the bar maid said "Why on earth don't you drink alcohol" my sister replies "I'm a muslim" and the barmaid said "And?"  Cheesy

    So we go and sit down outside me with my booze and her with her coke and the barmaid comes out to join us for a fag, and turns out she is a "muslim" from Turkey, working in a bar, and drinking and smoking, and the man at the table next to ours joins in the conversation turns out to be algerian "muslim" also smoking and drinking.  Cheesy

    Just made me really stop and appreciate how diverse the way people view islam are.  The algerian said anything I do is between me and allah and the nutty imams can go take a running jump if they think any differently.

    Was an interesting conversation between us all, and none of them bat an eyelid at me being an ex muslim.  Wink


    That's a really cool story.  Smiley  I like the guy's attitude.  Gives you hope for the Muslim community. 
    Mohammed ordered Kinana b. al Rabi' to be gruesomely tortured and then decapitated.  The 'prophet' then 'married' Kinana's wife, Safiyya.  He had her husband, her father and her people killed.  

    Sirat Rasul Allah by Ibn Ishaq 

    Mohammed was a rapist and a murderer.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #773 - May 31, 2008, 10:48 PM
    That is cool. I like the dude's attitude.  Afro
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #774 - May 31, 2008, 10:50 PM
    It was a good attitude, it's how religion should be frankly, between the believer and their personal god.  To be answerable to every tom dick and harry who has been given power over you is ridiculous.

    Of course that attitude wouldn't have gotten him very far in some more extremem muslim countries, but in general most other muslim countries (modernised ones) live that way.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #775 - May 31, 2008, 10:54 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on May 31, 2008, 10:27 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on May 31, 2008, 10:24 PM


    I think you might be getting the concept of forgiveness a little confused here.

    Many would see being 'too forgiving'  as a great virtue and not a weakness. Isn't it a theme of many of those very 'inspirational' type of quotes Berbs was mentioning before? I've never heard one that read 'don't be too forgiving', or what have you.




    No, none of the quotes I posted had anything to do with forgiveness and never have done. Nor will they ever.

    Sure many would see it as a virtue, but that's them, I am me, and I don't.

    It's a weakness.


    We'll have to agree to disagree on that then. I have to admit that I liked this quote from your collection, to me it says you don't withdraw loving feelings or forgiveness because of a few bad experiences, but instead, try to be a bit more discerning with whom you trust. As Aristotle says, it is a hard thing to do, but attainable nonetheless.

    'Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy.'
           - Aristotle

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #776 - May 31, 2008, 10:56 PM
    From your earlier posts, I just wanted to say that I think your ability to forgive your stepmother is commendable.  She is very fortunate to have you as a step daughter and it is very kind of you to help alleviate some of the guilt that chokes at her miserable life.  She undoubtedly has desperately needed your compassion considering her depression.  I think that it shows your indomitable strength.  I respect you even more now.  Smiley

    Who knows, perhaps your kindness mixed with your liberation has secretly inspired her that there is more to life that what she has lived, done and accepted.  Something gave her the guts to take english classes.  

    I agree and understand the whole wishing you weren't so nice, loving, forgiving, etc.  It causes the wrong sort to perceive you as weak or try to use you as a door mat.  That's when you can turn around and show your other side Wink.  Anyway, it is an admirable quality and the world would be so different if everyone was more like you.

    So, not to counter you, but I think this type of forgiveness is a definite strength.
    Mohammed ordered Kinana b. al Rabi' to be gruesomely tortured and then decapitated.  The 'prophet' then 'married' Kinana's wife, Safiyya.  He had her husband, her father and her people killed.  

    Sirat Rasul Allah by Ibn Ishaq 

    Mohammed was a rapist and a murderer.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #777 - May 31, 2008, 11:02 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on May 31, 2008, 10:54 PM


    We'll have to agree to disagree on that then. I have to admit that I liked this quote from your collection, to me it says you don't withdraw loving feelings or forgiveness because of a few bad experiences, but instead, try to be a bit more discerning with whom you trust. As Aristotle says, it is a hard thing to do, but attainable nonetheless.

    'Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy.'
           - Aristotle




    I do like that quote too, but I see it more as an anger management quote lol I don't need quotes to inspire me to forgive, I need ones to inspire me to be less forgiving.

    Everything in excess is bad, drugs, drink, and forgiveness.



    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #778 - May 31, 2008, 11:02 PM
    Quote from: Serquet11 on May 31, 2008, 10:56 PM
    From your earlier posts, I just wanted to say that I think your ability to forgive your stepmother is commendable.  She is very fortunate to have you as a step daughter and it is very kind of you to help alleviate some of the guilt that chokes at her miserable life.  She undoubtedly has desperately needed your compassion considering her depression.  I think that it shows your indomitable strength.  I respect you even more now.  Smiley

    Who knows, perhaps your kindness mixed with your liberation has secretly inspired her that there is more to life that what she has lived, done and accepted.  Something gave her the guts to take english classes.  

    I agree and understand the whole wishing you weren't so nice, loving, forgiving, etc.  It causes the wrong sort to perceive you as weak or try to use you as a door mat.  That's when you can turn around and show your other side Wink.  Anyway, it is an admirable quality and the world would be so different if everyone was more like you.

    So, not to counter you, but I think this type of forgiveness is a definite strength.


    Serquett,
    I take it you also think forgiveness is showing weakness? I am surprised at how wrong I seem to be in thinking it a strength.
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #779 - May 31, 2008, 11:03 PM
    Yup. Forgiveness is not (necessarily) the same as being a doormat. Being a doormat is no good at all.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
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