hahaha, anar tim ,yaldy !!!   Tiocfaidh ar lá a chara 
 
  Am fae Shettleston in pyoor neddy east end originally, but I wis fer the affski as soon as a could dae it . Nae future there for  ,gallus  bassa like me  

Now whilst I have enjoyed this little sojourn back into the vulgarities of our common venacular I think we should return to the language of her majesty the queen (piss be upon her)  old chap. What oh !
Forthwith, old chap!  

Kaffir Latte and Zebedee, I need to speak to both of you about living in Glasgow. I've been offered places at Glasgow and Cardiff medical schools and I haven't the slightest idea which one to choose. So far I'm inclined to pick Glasgow as it's better academically.
Do you mind if I PM'ed you guys?
PM away, if ya want.
But I'd advise Glasgow anyway, of course.  It's got a good medical school 

Russian swearing lessons, please.  

I have this covered...
Ya ni znayu mnogo russkij, no...
vagina = pizda
dick = khuy
ass = zhopa
idiot = durak
to f-ck = yebat'
As in, Ya khachu yebat' tebya.  

Also for f-off, you can say 'idi na khuy.' Literally, 'go to dick.' Or f-you, you could say 'khuy tebe v zhopu;' which means, 'a dick in your ass.' 

Another good one is, yob tvoyu mat' which means, 'I had your mother.' 
Yesli ty khoches znat' yeshyo, govori menya.  
