( i know there will probably be alot of grammar & spelling errors. Don't worry I don't write like this when I'm writing college papers
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)
lets give this a try!
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Hi, My name is Safiya ( my parents wanted to give me an African name)
I was raised in a Christian household ( Baptist) and I basically lived in the church. My mom taught Sunday school and my dad was a Deacon.
Bible Study, Sunday Service, "Watch Night"...I was there!
I was the only girl out of 3 other kids. My parents were strict. I wasn't allowed to do this or that.
We had parental control on the t.v. We couldn't watch PG-13, R-rated movies. We had curfews( 9pm). We couldn't listen to music that talked about sex, drugs or was anti-God.
Anyway, around the age of 18 ( which is the age we graduate from High School here) i started to question my beliefs.
When I left for college I became non-religious.
It mainly had to do with the fact that the Bible really wasn't the word of God and was written by man.
Earlier this year I was involved in a car accident on my way home from class. After that I was considering becoming religious( again). My car accident had me thinking about what will happen to my soul in the afterlife.
So I started to study different religions and I stumbled on Islam( I ruled out Christianity). I had a friend who was a Muslim and to be honestly she made Islam seem like this really cool thing.
I started to attend a local mosque in my area( only 4 times though) and I got a Quran from there. Alot of people there were nice to me and told me to convert so I could join the "largest & fastest growing family on Earth".
One day I decided to devote a whole afternoon( its not like I had anything better to do anyway) to just studying the Quran & the Hadiths.
Thats when my future of becoming a "Muslimah" crashed ( I would attend Jummah prayers but I wouldn't really be listening alot of the time. I have short attention span when it comes to stuff like that)
Alot of things i disagreed with. Including:
1. The Heaven and Hell concept
2. Women having to cover up because men cant control their sexual urges
3. Homosexuality being a sin.
Now I am currently an Agnostic because:
1. I do believe that there is a higher being out there but we wont be sure until we die.
2. I don't believe that religious texts are the word of "God"
3. The Heaven/Hell concept seems kind of funny. ( i mean how do we know Hell( if it exists) is this horrible place?)
4. I don't believe in prophets.
5. I don't like religious laws as I believe they leave no room for change.
6. I realized that I am a strongly secular person.
I have told my parents and now our relationship is strained. The only one I really talk to is my younger brother
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I do love my family, but I don't want this to ruin our relationship.
Hopefully one day, we will be able to repair it.