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 Topic: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..

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  • Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     OP - April 22, 2010, 08:55 PM
    & they are encouraged to get married ASAP.

    this is something i noticed. Like a woman would become a muslim and already she would have men trying to marry her? I never understood this.

    I use to know( not as in a friend though) a woman who converted to Islam and a week later she was married. This happened when i still attended the mosque. I dont know if she is still a muslim or if she is still married to the guy, though. It just seems rushed to me.

    Is It Because in Islam, Marriage is seen as half the deen?

    thanks.
    "Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." ~ Andre Gide

     sloshed
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Marri
     Reply #1 - April 22, 2010, 09:00 PM
    In my experience both young men and women are often pressurised to get married - convert or not. There are even some busybodies that make it their job to matchmake - they hate seeing a young single Muslim/Muslimah.
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #2 - April 22, 2010, 09:03 PM
    It isn't just Islam, my old religion had a saying " If your 24 and not married, you're a menace to society"  Roll Eyes
    So once again I'm left with the classic Irish man's dilemma, do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?
    My political philosophy below
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwGat4i8pJI&feature=g-vrec
    Just kidding, here are some true heros
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBTgvK6LQqA
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #3 - April 22, 2010, 09:03 PM
    Welcome to the penitentiary  Afro

    When a kuffar woman saves herself by converting, she has to fulfill the duties of a good muslimah, ie, have the children of a Muslim man, make the Muslim home, raise children, especially sons, who will serve the ummah.

    Remember folks, Islam liberates women  Roll Eyes
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #4 - April 22, 2010, 09:14 PM
    i guess that is the main reason why i will probably never ever be  a muslim.

    i have no plans to get married. where i was raised, most girls made getting married a big part of their life. To me, well i have no HUGE desire to. its just , if i dont get married, i'll live. If i do get married, i'll live.

    i know a couple who has been together for 30 years and they aren't married at all.
    "Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." ~ Andre Gide

     sloshed
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #5 - April 22, 2010, 09:21 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on April 22, 2010, 09:00 PM
    In my experience both young men and women are often pressurised to get married - convert or not. There are even some busybodies that make it their job to matchmake - they hate seeing a young single Muslim/Muslimah.

    +1

    Strangers would approach me in the masjid proposing on behalf of / offering their daughters. Other forms of proposals were also frequent. I felt as though the fathers might be on the lookout for an oddball suitor for that one misfit daughter who was being very picky about traditional suitors but the father still wanted someone devout so that they could retain the orthodox marriage workflow. I can imagine it would have probably been the same for female converts, but with more pressure perhaps.
    Each of us a failed state in stark relief against the backdrop of the perfect worlds we seek.
    Propagandhi - Failed States
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Marri
     Reply #6 - April 22, 2010, 09:41 PM
    The way some Hadith - like the one below - are phrased, really annoys me. I don't understand why more women don't complain about the obvious misogyny that permeates almost everything in Islam instead of trying to pretend that Islam "honours" women blah blah blah... Roll Eyes

    " من رزقه الله امرأةً صالحة فقد أعانه على شطر دينه فليتق الله في الشطر الباقي "
    “Whoever Allah blesses with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half.”
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #7 - April 22, 2010, 09:54 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on April 22, 2010, 09:41 PM
    The way some Hadith - like the one below - are phrased, really annoys me. I don't understand why more women don't complain about the obvious misogyny that permeates almost everything in Islam instead of trying to pretend that Islam "honours" women blah blah blah... Roll Eyes

    " من رزقه الله امرأةً صالحة فقد أعانه على شطر دينه فليتق الله في الشطر الباقي "
    “Whoever Allah blesses with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half.”

    I was told that all the time. From a convert's perspective, it almost makes you feel as though you're not really a full fledged Muslim until you're married.
    Each of us a failed state in stark relief against the backdrop of the perfect worlds we seek.
    Propagandhi - Failed States
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #8 - April 22, 2010, 09:57 PM
    It's not purely a religious thing but rather a cultural one. My family is not that devout but they bring it up every now and then. It's not pressure as much as it is enticement in my case. I made it clear several times that marriage is out of the question for another 5 years as a minimum.

    I don't think my parents do it because of religious reasons. Well come to think of it religion might be a reason but mainly it's all about, as they say, "making us happy by seeing you in a happy and stable marriage and seeing your kids before we die". To which I usually respond "Mum, dad, I love you but this touchy-feely stuff is not gonna work on me and you know it"  Wink  
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Marri
     Reply #9 - April 22, 2010, 09:59 PM
    Quote from: thinkfree on April 22, 2010, 09:54 PM
    I was told that all the time. From a convert's perspective, it almost makes you feel as though you're not really a full fledged Muslim until you're married.


    To 'demonstrate' your 'commitment' to the 'collective' you must marry into the faith; its almost like an anchor to say "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon". With that being said, I wonder how much of it is culture as well given how collectivist many of the cultures are which call themselves Muslim - the whole thing of a married couple living with the husbands family is the prime example of that.
    "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." - Muhammad Ali
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #10 - April 22, 2010, 10:03 PM
    Quote from: kaiwai on April 22, 2010, 09:59 PM
    To 'demonstrate' your 'commitment' to the 'collective' you must marry into the faith; its almost like an anchor to say "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon". With that being said, I wonder how much of it is culture as well given how collectivist many of the cultures are which call themselves Muslim - the whole thing of a married couple living with the husbands family is the prime example of that.

    Especially because marriages tend to be such a big investment from multiple perspectives, and the other party is told that if you were to leave Islam they must leave you. As you say, it's just another 'anchor' to keep you locked down.
    Each of us a failed state in stark relief against the backdrop of the perfect worlds we seek.
    Propagandhi - Failed States
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #11 - April 22, 2010, 11:00 PM
    Quote from: Iraqi Atheist on April 22, 2010, 09:57 PM
    I don't think my parents do it because of religious reasons. Well come to think of it religion might be a reason but mainly it's all about, as they say, "making us happy by seeing you in a happy and stable marriage and seeing your kids before we die". To which I usually respond "Mum, dad, I love you but this touchy-feely stuff is not gonna work on me and you know it"  Wink  

    Do you speak to them in English or Iraqi?
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #12 - April 22, 2010, 11:01 PM
    3ira8i
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #13 - April 22, 2010, 11:55 PM
    You speak l33t? Wink
    So once again I'm left with the classic Irish man's dilemma, do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?
    My political philosophy below
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwGat4i8pJI&feature=g-vrec
    Just kidding, here are some true heros
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBTgvK6LQqA
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #14 - April 23, 2010, 12:07 AM
    Quote from: deusvult on April 22, 2010, 11:55 PM
    You speak l33t? Wink

    s/3ira8i/3|®Å8î/ Tongue
    Each of us a failed state in stark relief against the backdrop of the perfect worlds we seek.
    Propagandhi - Failed States
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #15 - April 23, 2010, 12:10 AM
    No. That's Iraqi Arabic transliterated in the English alphabet. The numbers correspond to Arabic letters that resemble these numbers in shape and that has no phonetic equivalent in the English alphabet. Hence, we resort to using the numbers that look like those letters.

    My bad if that's not making sense. You kinda have to know Arabic to understand it.

    It's what I use when I chat with my Iraqi friends because:
    1-Almost all of us type in English way faster than in Arabic (I personally I'm so bad in typing Arabic I sometimes have to search for the letters)
    2-Many of my friends live in the West where there are no laptops with keyboards with Arabic characters. 
    Well, some live in the Arab world but nevertheless buy laptops that have no Arabic characters  because they are "originals" and not Chinese-made  Roll Eyes  Cheesy
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #16 - April 23, 2010, 12:29 AM
    I know IA Smiley I was playing dumb American mistaking IM Arabic for Leet speak Smiley
    So once again I'm left with the classic Irish man's dilemma, do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?
    My political philosophy below
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwGat4i8pJI&feature=g-vrec
    Just kidding, here are some true heros
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBTgvK6LQqA
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #17 - April 24, 2010, 01:17 AM
    Cool
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #18 - April 24, 2010, 07:00 PM
    Quote from: LuckyTShirt on April 22, 2010, 08:55 PM
    & they are encouraged to get married ASAP.

    this is something i noticed. Like a woman would become a muslim and already she would have men trying to marry her? I never understood this.

    I use to know( not as in a friend though) a woman who converted to Islam and a week later she was married. This happened when i still attended the mosque. I dont know if she is still a muslim or if she is still married to the guy, though. It just seems rushed to me.

    Is It Because in Islam, Marriage is seen as half the deen?

    thanks.


    Because religious people do not have a life... They know the truth and allah has a plan for everyone while for living, whats heaven for..  dance
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #19 - April 24, 2010, 11:12 PM
    Funny enough, I was talking to my sister about this; can anyone explain to me why there is this pressure that girls put on each other to have a boyfriend at high school? I went to a single sex boys school and the only 'pressure' was boasting how many times you got laid on the weekend rather than having a relationship. Why is there this pressure girls put on each other to be in a relationship and those who aren't in a relationship are looked down upon?
    "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." - Muhammad Ali
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #20 - April 24, 2010, 11:15 PM
    lol, people still make fun of me time to time because I never had a girlfriend before. I don't give a fuck really.

    "The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
    ~Sir Richard Francis Burton

    "I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
    ~RIBS
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #21 - April 24, 2010, 11:25 PM
    Quote from: Cool Canadian on April 24, 2010, 11:15 PM
    lol, people still make fun of me time to time because I never had a girlfriend before. I don't give a fuck really.


    Show a limp wrist and say that you're looking for the right guy Tongue
    "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." - Muhammad Ali
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Marri
     Reply #22 - April 24, 2010, 11:32 PM
    Quote from: kaiwai on April 24, 2010, 11:25 PM
    Show a limp wrist and say that you're looking for the right guy Tongue

     Cheesy

    But I love women! Cry
    "The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
    ~Sir Richard Francis Burton

    "I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
    ~RIBS
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #23 - April 24, 2010, 11:41 PM
    Quote from: Cool Canadian on April 24, 2010, 11:32 PM
    Cheesy

    But I love women! Cry


     Thinking hard

    You could always find a really fem guy lol
    "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." - Muhammad Ali
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #24 - April 24, 2010, 11:43 PM
    I think chicks with dicks dont count
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #25 - April 24, 2010, 11:48 PM
    I wish I didn't have all these fucking brown sports on my face, its hideous, and I don't think the ladies dig that mysmilie_977
    "The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
    ~Sir Richard Francis Burton

    "I think religion is just like smoking: Both invented by people, addictive, harmful, and kills!"
    ~RIBS
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Marri
     Reply #26 - April 24, 2010, 11:59 PM
    More than spots, ladies dont dig men who dont like themselves. Puts questions in their head you see.  If its true, at least dont let them know that  Afro
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #27 - April 25, 2010, 12:46 AM
    ^ +1
    Many women find confident men who are at ease with themselves attractive, ime. A few blemishes are almost certainly less of an impediment in finding a partner than how you let it affect the way you present yourself to the opposite sex, especially if its at the forefront of your mind when interacting with them. Just take a deep breath, smile and say "hi". You might get the cold shoulder a few times, or perhaps one will smile back and you'll hit it off.

    Each of us a failed state in stark relief against the backdrop of the perfect worlds we seek.
    Propagandhi - Failed States
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #28 - April 25, 2010, 12:48 AM
    That fox is creepy.
    "...every imperfection in man is a bond with heaven..." - Karl Marx
  • Re: Question: Why When A Woman Converts to Islam, She is Pressured to Get Married..
     Reply #29 - April 25, 2010, 01:22 AM
    Quote from: panoptic on April 25, 2010, 12:48 AM
    That fox is creepy.

    s/fox/wolf/  Wink

    Each of us a failed state in stark relief against the backdrop of the perfect worlds we seek.
    Propagandhi - Failed States
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