Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives

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- Sara198
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Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
OP - October 13, 2012, 11:44 PM

I had my 1st argument with my grandmother today. I'm always known as the nice, quiet girl but today she'll think satan has gotten to me and will probably spread the news, warning others.

She lives overseas luckily for me but my mother talks to her on the webcam. I pass by the room and hear "No she said all religions are the same!" I stopped dead in my tracks then I hear "and she said wearing the scarf is not mandatory" Then she called me over "Come over here and listen to me, your dear grandmother!" and my mother "LISTEN to what your grandmother has to say!"

I just mentioned what they repeat to me about Allah loving us much more than our parents do. I told her that even if I didn't like my mother she wouldn't want to see a finger burn let alone my whole body. She proceeded to lecture for half an hour and I had to keep quiet out of respect but also so the conversation would end quicker. She finished it off with "showing a few strands of your hair is the same as having sexual relations!!" I got up and left respectfully but whispered to myself "well that's stupid" Then my mother said "She said its all stupid"

Do some of your relatives make things up as they go along like mine? I would love to read some of your stories!

"In every religion there is love, yet love has no religion"

"The intellectual runs away, afraid of drowning; the whole business of love is to drown in the sea." - Rumi
- olweasel
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #1 - October 13, 2012, 11:53 PM

Don't underestimate them, and think you can get this over them easily.

It's best to shut up. I seriously regretted it.

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #2 - October 13, 2012, 11:58 PM

Yeah been down that road with my parents and it ended up with me going to Islamic classes ONTOP of my Quran Class. And also add emotional blackmail to guilt me into becoming more religious.

And this is all for just expressing doubts. If i came out as an atheist i would have been kicked out of the house.

I just pretend to be a good muslim now. Until your financially independent please don't bring stuff up like this with your family they will make your life hell.

Trust me I speak from experience.

In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #3 - October 13, 2012, 11:59 PM

.

You need to read this book.
- Sara198
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #4 - October 14, 2012, 12:00 AM

yeah it's sad how we have to keep quiet and try not to offend them with rational logic. A typical call with my aunt will go like this:

Aunt: I tell my children everyday to not miss a single prayer, it's the most important thing. Its all up to them to save themselves.
Me: mhmm
Aunt: every single good deed you do, you have to keep in mind you do it for Allah
Me: mhmmm
Aunt: I can't save anyone, its up to you guys you're of that age.
Me: true
Aunt: Remember God is the most compassionate, caring, he loves you more than your parents
Me: ok
Aunt: Look I just read this today with the ladies in our Islamic class. It talks of heaven containing anything you want. Everyone gets a villa, jewelry, silk...
Me: but I don't even want..
Aunt: what did you say?
Me: sounds good

"In every religion there is love, yet love has no religion"

"The intellectual runs away, afraid of drowning; the whole business of love is to drown in the sea." - Rumi
- olweasel
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #5 - October 14, 2012, 02:14 AM

Quote from: TheDarkRebel on October 13, 2012, 11:58 PM
Yeah been down that road with my parents and it ended up with me going to Islamic classes ONTOP of my Quran Class.

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
- Robert Louis Stevenson
- moi
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #6 - October 14, 2012, 08:12 AM

Quote
whispered to myself "well that's stupid" Then my mother said "She said its all stupid"

Very sad how your mum sided with her mum and not you.

My nephew is gay, and the grandmother has early 1950's attitudes. But at least here the different perspectives are in the open, and are being debated.

Try and find out if the grandmother ever wore miniskirts.

Quote
The short skirt was not really worn by many women until 1966 [when Mary Quant introduced short mini dresses and skirts that were set 6 or 7 inches above the knee] and not nationwide until 1967. The mini skirts reached their hayday in the year 1970. At that time,they were worn worldwide by the vast majority of women ,even in many Islamic, Arab, and Middle Eastern countries.In the Middle East ,women wore mini skirts as their daily apparel. From Kabul in Afghanistan to Iran and Bahrain in the Persian Gulf,Egypt,the Levant,North Africa,etc, mini skirts were the trend and it was generally acceptable for many women to wear them, even in the most religious and conservative families and societies.Among women who wore the mini skirts,were most school and university students , teachers and university staff members ,house wives,working classes,employees in governmental institutions,doctors and nurses in hospitals ,etc.

http://www.ikbis.com/triplem/shot/78949

(Beware of sound track!)

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #7 - October 14, 2012, 10:41 AM

Quote from: Sara198 on October 13, 2012, 11:44 PM

She finished it off with "showing a few strands of your hair is the same as having sexual relations!!"

Oh dear. What having 'sexual relations' with the wind as it blows through your hair?
- billy
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #8 - October 14, 2012, 11:21 AM

Quote from: Sara198 on October 14, 2012, 12:00 AM
Aunt: Look I just read this today with the ladies in our Islamic class. It talks of heaven containing anything you want. Everyone gets a villa, jewelry, silk...

Its funny how Muslims often critique western society as being materialistic and blah blah blah, yet central to its myth is a materialistic bribery system of the afterlife....

Islam is very materialist itself.

"we can smell traitors and country haters"

Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
God is Love.
Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #9 - October 14, 2012, 04:54 PM

My mother was reading a story of Mo to my niece so I told her about Ayesha's age etc. She's like where did you here that, I tell her I got hadith that say so, she says well just as long as you not one of those people who believe in nothing then "la qum deenu qum walie ya deen"

I just smiled
- Sara198
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #10 - October 14, 2012, 05:16 PM

^ yeah everyone tries to rationalize that. How a "perfect" prophet could marry such a young girl at the age of 50. A person like that would end up in jail today.

Thank you everyone for your replies, would love to read your stories.

Quote from: moi on October 14, 2012, 08:12 AM
Very sad how your mum sided with her mum and not you.

My nephew is gay, and the grandmother has early 1950's attitudes. But at least here the different perspectives are in the open, and are being debated.

Try and find out if the grandmother ever wore miniskirts.

She's a Balkan Turk but no she thrives off reminding us how she wore long pants under her skirts. The funny thing is I'm always covered up not showing skin, its just my damn sinful hair.

It is so sad, I had to run in the room basically saying "No I didn't say everyone is the same!" You have to remind them that Muslims are better. Then when I stated if Allah is indeed that loving he wouldn't burn his creations that easily...they really got offended and angry at that. It's tragic.

Quote
Oh dear. What having 'sexual relations' with the wind as it blows through your hair?

lol, could be!

"In every religion there is love, yet love has no religion"

"The intellectual runs away, afraid of drowning; the whole business of love is to drown in the sea." - Rumi
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #11 - October 14, 2012, 05:19 PM

BAD activity always punish....this is natural law

Belief is the death of intelligence
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #12 - October 14, 2012, 07:00 PM

From another thread:

''My mum asked me if I believe in God/Allah today, I said no. She then said: ''cool, but you're still a muslim more or less, right?''

I told her organised religion is meaningless, and if there is a god, he will reward her for her hard work, courage and community work. If there isn't, then all you can do is try your best and leave a good legacy. ''

We rarely talk about religion so I don't have many more examples right now, will post more when I remember them.

"Nobody who lived through the '50s thought the '60s could've existed. So there's always hope."-Tuli Kupferberg

What apple stores are like.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8QmZWv-eBI
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #13 - October 14, 2012, 07:43 PM

Quote
Remember God is the most compassionate, caring, he loves you more than your parents

Are conversations actually with people who do not think up sentences for themselves, but continually repeat lines they have heard somewhere?

Talk about theatre of the absurd!

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
- Sara198
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #14 - October 15, 2012, 04:24 PM

^ The obvious contradictory statements they make and rationalize is frustrating. They pause and know we have a point but then replay the same old tape anyway.

Quote from: Sprout on October 14, 2012, 07:00 PM
From another thread:

''My mum asked me if I believe in God/Allah today, I said no. She then said: ''cool, but you're still a muslim more or less, right?''

I told her organised religion is meaningless, and if there is a god, he will reward her for her hard work, courage and community work. If there isn't, then all you can do is try your best and leave a good legacy. ''

I agree with you, what you stated reminds me of this clip. The old woman shaking her head "no" is what our mothers and grandmothers would do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZjK1xRiUm4

"In every religion there is love, yet love has no religion"

"The intellectual runs away, afraid of drowning; the whole business of love is to drown in the sea." - Rumi
- yeezevee
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #15 - October 15, 2012, 04:52 PM

well 2 years back I said similar stuff in a group of elders ... and this is what happened between me & massi...(mother's elder sister)

Me: Where is god? there is no god.. if there was god this would not have happened......etc..etc..

Suddenly some one hit on my head.. when I turned around "massi said".. Shut up you fool.. god will listen to you..

and then whatever was the reason.. she fasted whole day because I said that.. basically I grew up in her house as a kid..
That was terrible and I felt guilty .. so no more opening my mouth on this god thing around family.. specially elders..

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #16 - October 15, 2012, 06:19 PM

Quote
Me: Where is god? there is no god.. if there was god this would not have happened......etc..etc..

Suddenly some one hit on my head..

"we can smell traitors and country haters"

Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
God is Love.
Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #17 - October 24, 2012, 01:15 PM

nvm
- scamper_22
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #18 - October 24, 2012, 02:47 PM

I enjoy it at times.

I had a visitor from Tanzania over at my house. Young guy but religious. Apparently there was a sex scandal there with the imam and he was saying how its all lies to defame Islam. I push it and say Christian priests do it, why do you think an imam would not? Then a bit later in the conversation, he talks about how he has an Imam back home that can get me married right away. I say Imams are ignorant and haven't even studied the rest of knowledge, why would I listen to them

The other odd time was with my girlfriend's family. Luckily, her dad is not very religious, but make not mistake... still very Muslim. I was over there with a few cousins... and her sister who is pretty religious and married a tabliqi guy, beard and all. Anyways, one of her cousins who is studying to be a doctor was saying how in med school he gained a new appreciation of Islam because of how the fetus clings to the uterus and the metaphor in the koran. Now remember... it's me, her dad, her tabliqi brother-in-law, and this doctor cousin in the room.

I wasn't sure what I could say, but I figured what the hell. So I say... nah, that's just a vague metaphor that could mean anything. He says, yeah, you could see it like that. Then the tabliqi guy says 'how could they know that 1400 years ago? It's a miracle'. I respond with... they all had theories. The Greeks, persians, babylonians, aristotle... This kind of stuff was well within the realm of academics and philosophers at the time.

Wasn't sure if I crossed the line... but no harm done. Everything was fine for the rest of the night.
I am careful, but I always like to push the envelope. For me, the lines are... there is a god... mohamed was god's messenger. Beyond that, I say what I want
- Sara198
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #19 - October 25, 2012, 12:24 AM

Quote from: paranoid on October 24, 2012, 01:15 PM
nvm

now now don't be shy

Quote from: scamper_22 on October 24, 2012, 02:47 PM
I enjoy it at times.

I had a visitor from Tanzania over at my house. Young guy but religious. Apparently there was a sex scandal there with the imam and he was saying how its all lies to defame Islam. I push it and say Christian priests do it, why do you think an imam would not? Then a bit later in the conversation, he talks about how he has an Imam back home that can get me married right away. I say Imams are ignorant and haven't even studied the rest of knowledge, why would I listen to them

The other odd time was with my girlfriend's family. Luckily, her dad is not very religious, but make not mistake... still very Muslim. I was over there with a few cousins... and her sister who is pretty religious and married a tabliqi guy, beard and all. Anyways, one of her cousins who is studying to be a doctor was saying how in med school he gained a new appreciation of Islam because of how the fetus clings to the uterus and the metaphor in the koran. Now remember... it's me, her dad, her tabliqi brother-in-law, and this doctor cousin in the room.

I wasn't sure what I could say, but I figured what the hell. So I say... nah, that's just a vague metaphor that could mean anything. He says, yeah, you could see it like that. Then the tabliqi guy says 'how could they know that 1400 years ago? It's a miracle'. I respond with... they all had theories. The Greeks, persians, babylonians, aristotle... This kind of stuff was well within the realm of academics and philosophers at the time.

Wasn't sure if I crossed the line... but no harm done. Everything was fine for the rest of the night.
I am careful, but I always like to push the envelope. For me, the lines are... there is a god... mohamed was god's messenger. Beyond that, I say what I want

I applaud you! That was a great response I know we don't want to cross the line and cause unease, its like "let's not offend anyone with logic!" Sad.

"In every religion there is love, yet love has no religion"

"The intellectual runs away, afraid of drowning; the whole business of love is to drown in the sea." - Rumi
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #20 - October 25, 2012, 12:39 AM

Quote from: scamper_22 on October 24, 2012, 02:47 PM

I wasn't sure what I could say, but I figured what the hell. So I say... nah, that's just a vague metaphor that could mean anything. He says, yeah, you could see it like that. Then the tabliqi guy says 'how could they know that 1400 years ago? It's a miracle'. I respond with... they all had theories. The Greeks, persians, babylonians, aristotle... This kind of stuff was well within the realm of academics and philosophers at the time.

The ignorance of those tabliqi and imam type guys always makes me cringe. I always want to say " dude get your fuckin head out of those fairly tale books for just a week and try reading the near infinite supply of other books on science and history once in a while. "

Most normal people after having read all the books on a subject would move onto another subject. but with muslims no they read all the books on Islam and instead of picking up a new book on a different subject they just go back and memorize the few books that they just read !

And if that wasn't worse enough the ignorant idiots actually have the audacity to call themselves "scholars" .

In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #21 - October 28, 2012, 01:05 PM

Interesting, Sara198. I thought Turks was secular compared to African and Arab Muslims. Or it might just be the ones I know.

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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #22 - October 28, 2012, 02:17 PM

^

Al Maari. They are all "secular" when their young, going out to parties and clubs. And then they get married and go all hardcore muslim mode during their older years. This applies to the majority of muslims in western countries not just turks.

That's what I call the life of a hypocrite.

In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
- Sara198
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Re: Let's share awkward, funny confrontations with relatives
Reply #23 - October 28, 2012, 04:59 PM

Our particular little community is like that. I have older female relatives living in Turkey who dress in tank tops and short skirts still going to clubs. They look at us with pity "How sad they're still stuck with those old beliefs." Then people like my grandmother look at them with pity "Sad they'll burn for showing skin, poor things."

"In every religion there is love, yet love has no religion"

"The intellectual runs away, afraid of drowning; the whole business of love is to drown in the sea." - Rumi
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