The great prizes of Jannah

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- mchawking
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The great prizes of Jannah
OP - November 17, 2010, 08:31 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84yKMXvRPus

"I can screw up your life now but you can get some whores in the afterlife!"

"I measured the skies, now the shadows I measure,
Sky-bound was the mind, earth-bound the body rests."
[Kepler's epitaph]
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #1 - November 17, 2010, 08:38 PM

I don't want any one of the harem. I want the Pimp Mistress Herself(Allah). I want to fuck Allah good.
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #2 - November 17, 2010, 09:23 PM

Quote from: mchawking on November 17, 2010, 08:31 PM
"I can screw up your life now but you can get some whores in the afterlife!"

Yep, that's a source of pure morality for your average believer. Hookers in the afterlife.

Tbh the guy in the video comes across as a bit of a simpleton.
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #3 - November 17, 2010, 10:33 PM

I've seen quite a few of the YouTube tablaghis but I'm not sure if I should post more of them now.

"I measured the skies, now the shadows I measure,
Sky-bound was the mind, earth-bound the body rests."
[Kepler's epitaph]
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #4 - November 17, 2010, 10:34 PM

Truly Islam is sex-obsessed.

Sometimes it seems Islam's glue is the anxiety over sexuality and the struggle to protect men's control over women's sexuality.

But given this obsession there's something really - what's the word? - degenerate and neurotic and perverted about the pornographic promises it makes as reward in the afterlife.

(to men of course....I might actually find some respect for this aspect of Islam if it promised studs with six-packs and big cocks ready to service Muslimas as much as they desire when they've ended their miserable lives begging to that narcissist in the sky)

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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #5 - November 17, 2010, 10:37 PM

The hypocrosy is grating. "You infidels are bad people because you just want sex, alcohol, large houses, fast cars etc. You are just greedy! You should be worshipping Allah, you immoral kafir!"

"Why should I do that?"

"So you can have sex with 72 beautiful virgins, have many palaces, the finest wine etc... DUH!"
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #6 - November 17, 2010, 10:41 PM

so everything that is wrong with the world is carried to heaven except you don't get judged for raping the virgins there .
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #7 - November 20, 2010, 03:36 AM

I remember this guy, watched his videos a few times back in the days.
If you see his profile, guys looking for a wife basically over youtube.
He got on my nerves then and he still does now, you can just tell he jerks off everynight

good luck brother

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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #8 - November 20, 2010, 04:00 AM

^ You're right. From his youtube page:
Quote
I'm Still On The Wife Search Lol, Make Dua Allah Blesses Me And Every Muslim With A Successful Partner, Who Is Strong In Deen And Imaan And Who Is Beautiful In Character And Who Is Compatable INSHALLAH Ameeen Thumma Ameen

How long has he been on the wife search for? Perhaps if he had a job instead of making vids about huris he'd be married by now?

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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #9 - November 20, 2010, 04:01 AM

Quote from: Prince Spinoza on November 17, 2010, 10:37 PM
The hypocrosy is grating. "You infidels are bad people because you just want sex, alcohol, large houses, fast cars etc. You are just greedy! You should be worshipping Allah, you immoral kafir!"

"Why should I do that?"

"So you can have sex with 72 beautiful virgins, have many palaces, the finest wine etc... DUH!"

What is wrong with the world today?

Sex, drugs, rock and roll.

What is so great about the world to come?

Sex drugs, rock and roll.

So once again I'm left with the classic Irish man's dilemma, do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?
My political philosophy below
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #10 - November 20, 2010, 04:04 AM

I like this comment from his vid he didn't reply to:
Quote
You are saying brother and sisters should refrain from these acts so that they get the maidens. But sisters wont like to get maidens.

Are sisters going to get a bunch of male lovers in the same way the men get a bunch of female lovers? If not, why not?

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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #11 - November 20, 2010, 04:06 AM

Quote from: donatelo on November 20, 2010, 04:00 AM
^ You're right. From his youtube page:
How long has he been on the wife search for? Perhaps if he had a job instead of making vids about huris he'd be married by now?

Pffffft. Jobs are only for idiots who only care about the Dunya. It's all about the akhirah, brother

19:46 <zizo>: hugs could pimp u into sex

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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #12 - November 20, 2010, 04:13 AM

^ I've heard that from many muslims living overseas and not working despite having good degrees

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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #13 - November 22, 2010, 04:19 AM

Quote from: donatelo on November 20, 2010, 04:13 AM
^ I've heard that from many muslims living overseas and not working despite having good degrees

Because they are too busy making dhikr and dua.

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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #14 - November 22, 2010, 05:13 AM

LOL at 0:44 he says "In the Akhira you'll get beautiful WHORE el-ein"...

And what's with rocking? Is on a train?

...
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #15 - November 22, 2010, 06:44 AM

Quote from: Logical_Mind44 on November 17, 2010, 08:38 PM
I don't want any one of the harem. I want the Pimp Mistress Herself(Allah). I want to fuck Allah good.

That would make her Madame Allah

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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #16 - November 23, 2010, 03:31 PM

"When I read that Hadith, I was like..damn, wanna get me some of those [whore al 'ayn]"
How very inspiring of Allah, play on men's weakness of desperately wanting to get some serious poontang, make 'em say DAMN, I FRIKKIN BELIEVE.
What a numbnut, when I was 7 I remember sitting with an Arabic teacher with a bunch of other kids, ready to get brainwashed. The teacher started speaking of Djannah
and she was like "and in Djannah, watermelons are THIS BIG!!!!!"
I was blown away, I never saw a watermelon that big. definitely makes the watermelons on earth look like shit and deficient.

Now that I look back at it, all I can think is "Have you been to Djannah teacher? No? Well kindly shut the fuck up then"
I stopped the video at 2:08, not going to watch more of it. Nothing useful to me can come out of this guy's mouth.

By the way, the watermelon is not a metaphor!

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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #17 - November 23, 2010, 03:38 PM

Quote from: three44 on November 23, 2010, 03:31 PM
By the way, the watermelon is not a metaphor!

I'm glad you cleared that up for us!
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #18 - November 23, 2010, 05:01 PM

Quote from: three44 on November 23, 2010, 03:31 PM
"When I read that Hadith, I was like..damn, wanna get me some of those [whore al 'ayn]"
How very inspiring of Allah, play on men's weakness of desperately wanting to get some serious poontang, make 'em say DAMN, I FRIKKIN BELIEVE.
What a numbnut, when I was 7 I remember sitting with an Arabic teacher with a bunch of other kids, ready to get brainwashed. The teacher started speaking of Djannah
and she was like "and in Djannah, watermelons are THIS BIG!!!!!"
I was blown away, I never saw a watermelon that big. definitely makes the watermelons on earth look like shit and deficient.

Now that I look back at it, all I can think is "Have you been to Djannah teacher? No? Well kindly shut the fuck up then"
I stopped the video at 2:08, not going to watch more of it. Nothing useful to me can come out of this guy's mouth.

By the way, the watermelon is not a metaphor!

She would answer

- But in Jannah you can have anything you want.

My response:

OK I would like my friend Mark to be in Heaven, he is Catholic, and believes Jesus is the Holy Son of God.
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #19 - November 23, 2010, 05:20 PM

Lol, not even in heaven can you get what you want.

So once again I'm left with the classic Irish man's dilemma, do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?
My political philosophy below
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwGat4i8pJI&feature=g-vrec
Just kidding, here are some true heros
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBTgvK6LQqA
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #20 - November 23, 2010, 05:27 PM

Teacher can we have Christmas in Jannah?

And Hanukkah!

Kwanzaa!

And Diwali!

What about Halloween?

zOMG I always wanted to go trick or treating but mom says it's haram.

Yeah mine too!

Its just candy and dress-up. I don't understand why it's haram?

Maybe cause you get like gelatine candy.

Are those haram?

What you didn't know? loool

But you can throw those out or just say no? I would give them to Mark and we could trade, I like chocolate anyways.

Teacher's response?

"Allah knows best. Let's recite Surat Al-kafiron one more time now."
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Re: The great prizes of Jannah
Reply #21 - November 23, 2010, 09:42 PM

Quote from: BlackDog on November 23, 2010, 05:27 PM
"Allah knows best. Let's recite Surat Al-kafiron one more time now."

Sirat al-mustaqeem, my child.

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