My Cousins said the respected me but did not understand my disdain for Islam, so I wrote them this letter, Firstly I wanna thank Islame, Hassan and the rest of the CEMBers as I used some material found on this site and Islame's blog. It is not a long read but it was put together this morning, I am still to receive a reply from my cousins

Salaams to you guy and gal
This is going to be a lenghty mail so grab a cup of coffee or whatever tickles your fancy. Take a day or 2 to digest what I have written and hopefully you will understand my stance and this is not a mail to change what you believe, I am just trying to answer the questions posed to me as honestly as I can.
Aasia said: "You choose not to have religion, and I can't understand it all. But I respect it."
Shagrie Said: "I get ure point on ure blog and certain sentiments ring true n personal, however I'm still trying to decipher the disdain to religion bit, more over Islam"
Ok, firstly, I have a problem with religion and not those who practise it, that has to be said.
The reason I have problem with religion, more over Islam, is because that is the religion I grew up with and know more about but I equally have a problem with all religions.
One of my favourite quotes:"Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion." ~Steven Weinberg
Ok lets start,
For the past 4 years or so I have been on a journey and the reason for this journey was to find spirituality. I was not happy with myself and not happy to find excuses everytime Jumu'ah came around or big night or Taraweeh not to go to mosque. I needed to find a reason to be more spiritual and be happy to go to mosque and make salaah and praise the Almighty.
So I started frequenting websites such as sunniforum.com and Islamicqa.com, I wanted to learn from respected people why I had a lack of spirituality and what I should do to make my heart pure.
You see from an early age I was taught that Islam is the one and only true religion, in madressa I was taught the history of Islam, Fiqh, Tawheed etc Now at madressa we are only taught the nice things that Islam brings to the table and not the problem areas (more about the problem areas later), so growing up you get to feel all nice and warm because you are following this wonderful religion and feel a bit superior because it is the true religion and the rest of the 5 billion people on earth will spend an eternity hell. I did not question, because as part of growing up you are taught to believe your elders and everything they said was fact.
So growing up I wanted to be a truthful person and offer guidance (truth is I was bullied at school and had low self-esteem) I decided to let my parents send me to Darul-Uloom Zakariyya so I can go study hifz. My step-father was over the moon (my biological father renounced me as his son the minute he laid eyes on me... so I have abandonement issues as well) and in 1988 my mother and myself got on a SAA flight and headed to Johannesburg. We stayed with family in Newclare upon arrival and the next day I was whisked away to a deserted looking place called Darul-uloom Zakariyya. After saying my goodbyes and knowing I will not see my family again for quite some time I headed into the unknown and boy was it a culture shock. Being from Cape Town and having curly hair I was referred to as a bushie and that would be my pseudonym for the next 6 months.
I was not fluent at reading the Quran, but I tried my best to learn it and in 1 month I had finished reading the Quran (without understanding a single garaf). Happy at this achievement hifz classes started in ernest and I would have the biggest smile on my face for every surah I memorised and would read it over and over with fellow learners in my room, there were 6 of us to a room.
Now being from Cape Town and being brought up with GoodHope FM, music was in my blood and even dancing although I posses to left feet, it was year of Jack your body and the jack mix 88, we had a little cassette player and would listen and dance in the corridoors me wirh my wannabe breakdance moves until one evening a mufti happene to walk by and we were caught. Punishment ensued, it was not pretty and blood flowed.
I started smoking at age 13 so when I was at the darul-uloom I had not given up on that vice and while playing soccer with a cig in hand, one of the mullahs saw me and once again it was off to Moulana Shabeer's office to get whipped till the blood flowed.
We were made to take secular classes as well and the subjects I took was English, Afrikaans and Mercantile Law, now exam time was upon us and we wrote our exams at an external centre based in Riverlea, this centre was directly opposite the public swimming pools. Now being a hotblooded male and not having female interaction for a few months, I skipped the exams to go to the pools and interact with the opposite gender, none the less, this was brought to the attention of the moulanas by a bushie hater and you can guess what followed next.
Once a month we had a weekend off and I decided to head to town and spent the whole Saturday at the kine centre (there were 9 cinemas) and watched movies all day. At 12am they closed their doors and I would walk across to the Carlton centre and head up to the skyrink till it closed, once they closed I would sit ouside the carlton centre conversing with passing by prostitutes in search of a light for their cigs. This would last until daybreak, I would then proceed to the bus terminus and take a bus back to Lens and walk from Lens to Zak Park. One day, the most feared Moulana (Moulana Ganjee) drove past and offered me a lift. Unfortunately I was not Islamically attired and the rest is history. A pvc pipe was used this time and the beating did not stop till the pipe broke.
Concern followered from my fellow learners as I had no will left in me and by the time December holidays came around I told my parents that I had had enough of that place and if they wanted their son to turn out gay (not the real reason offcourse, did not want them to know of the beatings) they would send me back Zakariyya. To be honest, a lot of molestation was happening there, a lot of the older students that were studying to become alims had their little side orders, usually a 6 to 10 year old kid who did not know better.
I can say this now, I think this is what triggered my disdain for religion.
Now lets get on to the reasons for my disbelief:
Evolution
Eternal Torture
The Prophet being the perfect example for us all
Treatment of women
Scientific Miracles of the Quran
These are just a few topics I want to touch on
Evolution
Muslims are taught that Adam and Eve(Hauwa) were the first inhabitants of earth and if this is not believed one cannot be Muslim. Now I am a big believer in evolution and with the empirical scientific evidence that exists, I cannot not believe that evolution did not and is still happening. I know there are secular Muslims that are out there that believe in evolution and believe Adam and Eve was when we gained understanding, they are however in the minority and there was an Imam in England that gave a khutbah on this one Friday and he had recant his stance or face the consequences. In Islam we know what the consequences are, social suicide, being an outcast or being killed for even commiting this type of shirk. Here is the souce
http://islamineurope.blogspot.com/2011/03/london-imam-retracts-statements-on.html however you can google the story to find more credible accounts.
Eternal Torture
I cannot grasp the idea to be eternally tortured for a finite amount of sins. How merciful is that?
This is taken from my blog as I am to lazy to write it all again

My question is, is it logical for our creator to infinitely torture the disbelievers for a finite amount of sins?
Here are some verses from the Quran:
Qur'an 47:15 "Those who shall dwell forever in the Fire are given to drink boiling water that tears their bowels to pieces, and cutting their intestines to shreds."
Qur'an 56:41 "But those of the left hand-how unhappy those of the left hand. They will be in the scorching hot wind and boiling water, under the shadow of thick black smoke, neither cool nor agreeable. ...They will be gathered together on a certain day which is predetermined. Then you, the erring and the deniers will eat Zaqqoom [a thorn tree]. Fill your bellies with it, and drink scalding water, lapping it up like female camels raging of thirst and diseased. Such will be their entertainment, their welcome on the Day of Doom...the welcome of boiling water and the entertainment of roasting in Hell. This is the ultimate truth."
Qur'an 88:1 "Has the narration reached you of the overwhelming (calamity)? Some faces (all disbelievers, Jews and Christians) that Day, will be humiliated, downcast, scorched by the burning fire, while they are made to drink from a boiling hot spring."
These are but some verses from the holy book that deals with Hell. Surely the most merciful of beings cannot be so cruel as to throw 4/5ths of the worlds population into hell.
Those who are left-handed were born that way, surely, even they should be spared the wrath of hell.
Sahih Muslim Book 23 Book of Drinks- Kitab al Ashriba
Jabir b. 'Abdullah reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) having said: Do not eat with your left hand, for the Satan eats with his left hand.
Women are also not spared the wrath of eternal torture as can be see from the Hadiths below (and yes they are Sahih(authentic))
Bhukari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 124:
Narrated Usama:
The Prophet said, "I stood at the gate of Paradise and saw that the majority of the people who entered it were the poor, while the wealthy were stopped at the gate (for the accounts). But the companions of the Fire were ordered to be taken to the Fire. Then I stood at the gate of the Fire and saw that the majority of those who entered it were women."
People often argue that this is all metaphorical, yet the Quran and Hadith is suppose to be taken literally.
The Prophet being the perfect example for us all
This has to be the most contrevertial topic I am about to cover, it will have sub-headings
Marriage to Ayesha - The prophet got married to Ayesha when she was six and consumated their marriage when she was 9, he was 53. Now people may argue that this was common in the time of the prophet and girls matured earlier then (there is no scietific evedence for this). There are numerous hadiths supporting this claim:
There are claims that Abu Bakr initially approached Muhammad asking him to marry his daughter. This is not true, herfather was understandably reluctant:
Sahih Bukhari 7.18The Prophet asked Abu Bakr for Aisha's hand in marriage. Abu Bakr said "But I am your brother."
The Prophet said, "You are my brother in Allah's religion and His book, but she is lawful for me tomarry." There are many such hadiths and I am not going to type them out but will name them so you can look them up for your own knowledge base - Sahih Bukhari bk 62, no 64; Sahih Muslim Bk 008, No 3310; Sahih Bukhari bk 62, no 88; Sahih Bukhari 5.236; Sahih Bukhari 5.234; Sahih Bukhari Volume 8 Bk 73, No 51; Sahih Muslim Bk 008, No 3311
Marriage to Safiyyah - Safiyyah was a beatiful 17yr old Jewish bride who was widowed when Muslim soldiers killed her husband. She was captured along with kids as war booty at the war of Khaybar. Her father was the leader of the Banu Yadir and he was executed by the prophet. I Islam the prophet was permitted 20% of all the spoils and this included Safiyyah, It is said that the prophet wanted to have sex with her the same day but she had her period, so on the second day he married her and consumated the marriage. Does show compassion does it not. For futher reference of the story please look up Bukhari Book of Sales and Book of nikkah 3.59
Marriage to Zaynab - Zaynab was the wife of Zaid, the Prophet's adopted son. One day he went to their home and Zaynab answered the door, when the prophet saw her he decided that he wanted to marry her. The only problem was he already had his allocation of 4 wives and miraculously the verse in the Quran 33:50 was revealed: "O Prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their dowers; and those whom thy right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war whom God has assigned to thee; and daughters of thy paternal uncles and aunts, and daughters of thy maternal uncles and aunts, who migrated (from Makka) with thee; and any believing woman who dedicates her soul to the Prophet if the Prophet wishes to wed her;- this only for thee, and not for the Believers (at large); We know what We have appointed for them as to their wives and the captives whom their right hands possess;- in order that there should be no difficulty for thee. And God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." Convenient I'd say. It is also said that the prophet had a dream that he would marry Zaynab and he told Zaid that he had a dream that a beautiful wife is waiting for him in Jannat and therefore he has to go to the front of the battle lines, Zaid was naturally killed. Ayesha also mentioned that it seemed that Allah was quick to fill Muhammads desires. More souces for you knowledge base: Sahih Bukhari Volume 1 Bk 5, No 268 and Sahih Muslim Bk 008, No 3454.
Fatima, daughter of the Prophet - When Fatima's husband wanted to take a second wife, the Prophet said he first had to divorce Fatima before he could marry another. Here I thought Islam allows for 4 wives, only when it came to his own he was above Islamic law. Quran 4:3 clearly states this "If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.", other souces are Sahih Bukhari 7:62:157.
Now there are lots more things that makes me believe that the Propehet is not the perfect example for all time. Other than having sex with a 9 yr old, he killed people who mocked him, people that apostated were killed, Like the Bible, The old testemant is filled with ludicris laws and war mongering where the new testament is filled with love, the Quran, while the prophet was married to Khadija is a peaceful book, he was monogamous etc. As soon as Khadija died the shit began, taking slaves, having concubines other than his 10 other wives.
Hadith are the practices of Muhammad and is Sunnah, so will you let your daughter have sex with a 53 yr old because it is Sunnah, will you take slaves and have sex with them because whateever your right possesses you can do with as you please. If your answer is no, why are you picking and choosing the hadiths you follow? These were the questions I was faced with. then you go on and say you only follow what the Quran says the rest is immaterial, the Quran only mentions praying 3 times a day, the Quran does not mention how to pray or how to make wudu and the Quran is full of contradictions. There are 3 verses in the Quran that deals with drinking, Firslty it was ok to drink because alcohol contained stuff in it that was good for you, then it was ok to drink but not when going to mosque and finally total ban on drinking. If the author if the Quran is all knowing, did he/she not know what alcohol abuse does and then ban it outrightly. Why have 3 seperate verses that abrogate each other and is the cause of numerous interpretations if this book was meant to be a clear guide for mankind?
I digress, let me continue, the next topic
Treatment of Women
Naturally I will start with the most controversial verse in the Quran 4:34, Men are in charge of Women "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because God has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what God would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): For God is Most High, Great (above you all)."
Now I covered this topic in blog as well and really this mail is getting lengthy, but suffice to say, to me, this verse gives men the permission to moer their wives because the word lightly is not in the Quran, that is an interpretation. Here are some quotes from the Quran
Quran 2:228 - "And men are a degree above woman"
Quran 43:18 - A woman according to the Quran "is a creature who in dispute cannot make herselef clear"
Sahih Bukhari 1:301 and 2:541 also states that the Prophet believed most women will be the occupants of hell and he felt that women lack intelligence.
He also stated that any country run by a female will not be successful.
There are lots more Quranic quotations and hadiths showing that women are lesser than men. This only tells me that the Quran is man made and written by men, same as the Bible and the Torah.
Scientific Miracles of the Quran
Ok I am not gonna deal with this and just refer you to a link of a friend of mine that debunks most Scientific miracle claims.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Investigating-Islam/146540928752196 There are many other guys making videos debunking the Miracles claim.
Other good reads of Muslims who have turned their back on religion are:
Hassan Radwan - He was a teacher at Islamia in England for 15 years
http://abooali.wordpress.com/2008/11/30/welcome/ Another good souce of information is:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/19390943/Why-I-left-Islam-for-Humanism Now as you can see I went in search of something to become more Muslim and found myself becoming less and less Muslim, the tipping scale is when I clicked on a link from a Muslim site and it took me to the following site:
http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?action=forum. This was over a year ago, by this time I was a fence sitter not knowing where I belong. These were ex-muslims that were not bashing the people that followed Islam but were rather critical of the religion itself. This was unlike any other site I encountered, they welcomed all unlike the muslim forums when they see someone creating a thread that questions their practices, they delete it or the opposite side of the fence sites like Faith Freedom international that want all muslims wiped off the earth.
You are welcome to visit that site, I only joined in Octobe last year and I am not very active there, but I gained a lot from that site.
I really hope this answers your questions regarding my decisions, for me religion does not make sense and to me it seems man made, not only Islam but all religions.
Did you know that pre-Islam the pagans of Mecca were making tawaaf around the Kaaba and this was incorporated into Islam to gain favor from the Meccans at that time?
There are many stories that does not make sense, like the Noah story, you actually believe that a 600yr old man built a boat, put pairs of animals in it adn the rest of civilisation got wiped out?
What happened to all of the animals shit that was on the boat, what about the carnivores on the boat, was there any fish on the boat, were they salt or fresh water fish, what about insects, there are over 2 million species of insects, were they all on the ark/boat?
I am a logical person, for me to belive in something I have to be able to see it, I don't have enough to go on just to believe in an imaginery being.
Be safe
Like I said this is my reasons for not believeing, and I harbour no ill-feelings to thase that have different ideas and follow different ideologies than myself.
Please forgive any grammatical and spelling mistakes, I am not gonna run a spell check:)
Peace out
Toyer