Relieve me then, allow me just the merest moment of your attention, so that I may feel special again. A widower as I becomes quickly lonely, seeking solace on these here sparsely-populated boards, waiting for cupid's arrow to rear its sharp and menacing head once more. I fear it may have struck me but missed you, punctured my heart, as to leave a deep fissure, yearning to be filled. Come my honey-petal, fill my hole with your sweet, sweet delight. We shall depart from this squalid shack and together, be-getting children by the yardful, nay by the freighter-load, we will saunter into the night, prancing and dancing to our heart's content, with no care for Man or his asinine contraptions and his sordid message boards. What say you, Delilah?
What manner of men have you been speaking to? What rogue, what scoundrel, what charlatan would spread such vicious hearsay about me? Pay them no heed Delilah - knaves and scallywags all! But the whispers that in turn reach me rumour that you are yet innocent and unpoiled by any man, so why the lies my sweet? Do you fear rebuff? Know that I have loved men older and frailer than you. Do you worry you may be too feeble? I promise you, dear Delilah, I will replenish and reinvigarate your fire, endowing you with the strength of a thousand men and fifty, if you would just lend me your candle. Your chunky, stiff candle, that I may relight it and marvel at its spurting flames. Your peeling skin and thinning hair and fading sight and... that smell old people have, it's like a sort of general muskiness, 'naw whata mean dawg?... will be forgotten lore, and our freighter-load of children will speak only of your endurance and vigour, your eternal love and ceaseless loving, so touching but as yet untouched. Come, the twilight nears, let us squander no more time with shameless, and moreover needless, courtship, it is plain you have been reserving your fragrant buttocks for me. To the trees and yonder, the night is ours.
And yo ass is mine.
I knew it! Something had to give sooner or later! You have been infected by the MAB bug!
But fucking brilliant!
Topic: Is it just me or...