Never thought I'd be here

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- DigDug2
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Never thought I'd be here
OP - July 05, 2012, 08:13 PM

I'm gonna keep this short.

I guess you could call me an ex muslim. I'm in denial of it only because it helps me cope with my low selfesteem. I've recently found out I have Body Dysmorphia Disorder (self diagnosed) and that was probably the reason why I was lead to practicing a stricter form of Islam.

The sad thing is I basically formed my identity on Islam, now that I've given it up. I have to face my self esteem issues and have to form my own identity... basically start over fresh in life.
New friends, becoming more independant, moving out, new look (no hijab & all).

I just can't get myself to get the ball rolling, I feel stuck like I'm watching everybody have fun and transition well into adulthood while I have regressed to the mentality of a scared naive 12 year old girl.

My biggest fear is to be stagnated in life with a stereotypical life with a husband, kids and a 9-5 job with vacations here and there.

I wanna truly live everyday! I've always been curious and adventurous & abit rebelous. It would be nice to have friends that were on board but I only have 2 friends now after becoming a very strict muslim, lost alot of "moderate" muslim friends and then losing the strict muslim friends I gained after leaving Islam and becoming a bit rebelous.

So here I am mentally all over the place yet physically stuck at home, broke, severely depressed & no direction in life.
- DigDug2
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Re: Never thought I'd be here
Reply #1 - July 05, 2012, 08:15 PM

btw I'm 18
- Tonyt
- Pub Regular
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Re: Never thought I'd be here
Reply #2 - July 05, 2012, 08:29 PM

Welcome to the forum.

Hey look on the bright side. You are only 18 so you have plenty of time to figure out your new direction in life.
- Kaleem Yahya
- Member
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Re: Never thought I'd be here
Reply #3 - July 05, 2012, 09:01 PM

Welcome to the forum. One piece of advice, learn to love yourself, your life and you! If you do that, you'll soon tell Allah "fuck you dude, I don't need you I am god myself!".

I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.

John Galt.
- Da_Dude
- Still chillin'
- Ex-Muslim
- Chill Man
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Re: Never thought I'd be here
Reply #4 - July 05, 2012, 09:29 PM

It's baby steps, one step at a time.

Every day do one thing that you think you might enjoy (even if you feel like don't really enjoy anything at the moment). Do something that resembles positivity, even if you feel like it's all a waste of time, force yourself to do something, even if it's only to list down what you'd like to do in life one day (write up a bucket list of things you want to do, everything). And see if you can get some therapy if you haven't already (and maybe some anti-depressants if you haven't already), therapy is really good with sorting stuff out and for depression.

It's really hard being stuck in a rutt, it's hard losing friends, but seriously, you can rebuild your life and life does get better. It's just a matter of one day at a time and before you know it you will have a life you didn't think was possible and look back amazed at how far you've come.

Oh and stick around here, it'll help keep your mind off of things and you'll get to have a laugh with people who understand the journey and the pain.

Welcome DigDug2
- moi
- Pub Regular
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Re: Never thought I'd be here
Reply #5 - July 05, 2012, 09:43 PM

Quote
on the bright side

Is that Sheffield Brightside or...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
- Lynna
- Pub Regular
- Seek peace. Endure. Find joy.
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Re: Never thought I'd be here
Reply #6 - July 08, 2012, 01:28 AM

Welcome DigDug2

Here is your welcome and. please take care of them well and use them wisely.

Here is likely a good place for you to be. There are all kinds of people here to give you ever opinion under the sun. That way you can explore some ideas and only get you mind corrupted oh well a lot but oh well if you're smart enough to get here you'll work it out.

There are several here with body image problems so.... yeh....be careful this is a difficult thing for a person to deal with. Try to be comfortable with yourself. Likely you're no more broken then any one else you may even find out less so as you venture out into the world.

My experience isn't that Moslems have low self-esteem or generally speaking any less low then any other general class of people. My experience is however that people struggling with their identity sometimes express that struggle in terms of self image. Not just a Moslem thing.

I hope you stay for a while.

If at first you succeed...try something harder.

Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
- sturmgewehr
- Illyro-Thracian
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Re: Never thought I'd be here
Reply #7 - July 08, 2012, 08:48 AM

Welcome
- yeezevee
- Pub Regular
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Re: Never thought I'd be here
Reply #8 - July 08, 2012, 12:52 PM

Quote from: DigDug2 on July 05, 2012, 08:15 PM
btw I'm 18

Hmm.. you 18 year old girls get depressed so much and so quick.. now I understand why Islam prescribed Burkha for you guys.

When I was 18 I wanted to kill people... I still do.

And here we have medicine for depressed people., So get some more depressed people in to forum., I will call Imam to get the Damn Jinns out of you guys..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lLcrnPzaGU

With best wishes
yeezevee

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
- The Defiant
- Ex-Muslim
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Re: Never thought I'd be here
Reply #9 - July 13, 2012, 09:13 PM

Welcome DigDug2,
Re the disorder, get some help with that, see a GP they can probably refer you to a specialist. As far as your worst fear goes, well thats my life except with an Islamic slant since I married a Muslim. If you want more choices in life, go as far as you can in your education, it'll open more doors for you and allow you to travel, no better way to find adventure. If your worst fear ever changes and you starting thinking about marriage consider marrying outside of Islam it may make your lifestyle less restrictive.
Hope you stick around and enjoy the forum, think you'll find it an interesting place.
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