Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?

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- AGirlWithDoubts
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
OP - September 30, 2015, 07:37 AM

I feel that it would be hard to find a counselor who understands ex-Muslim issues and it would be very hard to open up about how fvcked up my life has been.
- justperusing
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Has anyone tried counselling and does it help?
Reply #1 - September 30, 2015, 08:26 AM

I've tried counseling in the past and I thought it helped. Just to be able to get things off your chest and be able to verbalize all your thoughts to someone who's job it is to sit there and listen is a huge step in tackling pretty much any emotional issue you've been facing. This is especially true if you don't have many people that you feel close enough to or comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings with.

I know we're here for your problems related to leaving religion, but to have some face to face interaction would probably be better. I don't know if you're looking into getting help from a phd'd psychologist or psychiatrist or if you're going in for more public resource counseling (something provided through school or work), but I know that the field of psychology is not populated by many close-minded religious fundamentalists so as long as they don't advertise themselves as being religious, they probably aren't or are fine with you getting your critical thoughts regarding religion out.

If you are in the US (I think this organization is only in the US), this website would be a good place to start:
https://www.seculartherapy.org

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
-Thomas Paine
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Has anyone tried counselling and does it help?
Reply #2 - September 30, 2015, 08:36 AM

A good counselor helps with a lot of issues. Not just talking to someone without biases or judgements, but a good counselor will be able to find the roots of your problems. They can be life-changing. My counselor helped me find the root cause of my anxiety, which enabled me make drastic changes.

Unfortunately good counselors are hard to come by. The best thing you can do is be direct about what you're looking for, and don't be afraid of looking for someone else if yours doesn't work for you.

Counselors often have issues they're more experienced in. Maybe not something as specific as being an ex-Muslim, but you can look for someone experienced in domestic abuse or anything you might find relates to your situation. And you can look for someone who has a similar background as yours, or maybe different background, if you're not comfortable talking with someone from the same culture. There's nothing wrong with looking for someone you'd be the most comfortable with.
- AGirlWithDoubts
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #3 - September 30, 2015, 06:39 PM

Thanks for answering, went for my first session today and it was really weird. Not sure if it was the counselor or my own trust issues.

I have a limited number of sessions so am a bit worried about changing counselors. Will see how the next one goes.
- Kodanshi
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #4 - September 30, 2015, 08:57 PM

I've had counselling a number of times and it has never ever helped me. I think I need Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, not counselling.
- suki
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #5 - September 30, 2015, 11:17 PM

I've always wanted to go to counselling for low self esteem issues but cannot ever muster up the courage to go.. think I would prefer a group session and hear like minded people talk than feeling like a freak talking to a therapist alone.
- asbie
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #6 - September 30, 2015, 11:59 PM

Currently done two sessions with one for my study and testing anxiety. I feel like it's helping, which at the very least is a good start.

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- Quod Sum Eris
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #7 - October 01, 2015, 01:11 AM

Therapy takes time to work. You won't get results after just one session. It's a process. If who you're with doesn't feel like a match don't be afraid to try someone new.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- justperusing
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #8 - October 01, 2015, 01:37 AM

Quote from: asbie on September 30, 2015, 11:59 PM
Currently done two sessions with one for my study and testing anxiety. I feel like it's helping, which at the very least is a good start.

Xanax does wonders for test anxiety, just sayin. Don't know if you're ready to hit the drugs though

"I moreover believe that any religion that has anything in it that shocks the mind of a child, cannot be a true system."
-Thomas Paine
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #9 - October 01, 2015, 01:38 AM

Counseling is a process, not a quick cure, and has much to do with the quality of the therapist. Trust is important, give it a few sessions. I have a therapist who knows nothing about Islam, and the fact that she is open minded and sympathetic has mattered far more than her background being similar to mine.

Don't let Hitler have the street.
- Cornflower
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #10 - October 01, 2015, 10:14 AM

I've been to counseling. More than the therapist or counselor giving me "advice" or whatever, I appreciated the fact when the person listening did just that. Listened. And was able to sympathize and give me validation that what I had been enduring was not OK. That it was not right. Just that was enough.

"The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
- AGirlWithDoubts
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #11 - October 01, 2015, 10:42 AM

Hmm yeah I suppose it would take a while. In the end I guess it would help just to find someone who will listen
- LadyDanger
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #12 - October 17, 2015, 02:53 PM

Quote from: AGirlWithDoubts on September 30, 2015, 07:37 AM
I feel that it would be hard to find a counselor who understands ex-Muslim issues and it would be very hard to open up about how fvcked up my life has been.

I am not an ex muslim, I'm not even muslim for that matter but I did go for counseling for other issues. If you find a good counsellor who understands and tried to work with you, I'd say it helps tons.
- Lassan
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #13 - October 17, 2015, 07:45 PM

I'm also considering counselling, not really specifically for ex-muslim issues but I’d be curious to hear how you get along and if you find your sessions useful over time. Glad to hear other people have had positive experiences. Good luck!
- AGirlWithDoubts
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Has anyone tried counseling and does it help?
Reply #14 - October 17, 2015, 08:36 PM

I'm getting counsellng through my university and can't start the proper sessions until next month but will talk about how it goes. Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone
- Quod Sum Eris
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Reply #15 - October 18, 2015, 12:44 AM

I hope you do let us know.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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