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 Topic: (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.

 (Read 4787 times)
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  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #30 - April 19, 2014, 05:19 PM
    You're not the only one, I've laughed out loud in public several times Tongue I love happymurtad's sex prayer! You're talended, maybe you should compose more holy chapters for us murtads, and maybe even a hisn al murtad Wink
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #31 - April 19, 2014, 05:20 PM
    o yes please ^
    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #32 - April 19, 2014, 05:21 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on April 19, 2014, 05:19 PM
    You're not the only one, I've laughed out loud in public several times Tongue


    Although hands down the worst one for me was Yeezevee's indignant response to Qtian's drawing of him. I still cannot look at that post without laughing. Thankfully I was at home, so the only weird look I got was from the husband.
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #33 - April 19, 2014, 05:22 PM
    Quote
    maybe you should compose more holy chapters for us murtads, and maybe even a hisn al murtad


    Now THAT made me laugh out loud.  Cheesy
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #34 - April 19, 2014, 05:29 PM
    You know in the beginning of our relationship my ex said, while trying to breathe through his hysterical laughter, "I don't know if I married a woman or a clown"  Roll Eyes
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #35 - April 19, 2014, 05:35 PM
    ^Not bad, because I get its less flattering cousin: "I don't know if I married a woman or a man. Come over here, let me check again."  Cry
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #36 - April 19, 2014, 05:38 PM
    In a weird way, that line can be a chat up line don't you think? The check up can lead to some serious funny business Roll Eyes Cheesy
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #37 - April 19, 2014, 05:42 PM
    lol, my ex claimed my boobs were his after we got married.

    Grow your own man boobs, my boobies are mine weirdo
    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #38 - April 19, 2014, 05:44 PM
    I would legitimately be horrified if I were married to that person. That's very creepy.
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #39 - April 19, 2014, 05:45 PM
    Yeah, Muslim men often have this idea that they now own the woman they married. Wonder where that idea came from Roll Eyes My ex said the same thing "your body is mine, only mine" and I could see how he enjoyed the idea that no one could see me under all the cloth I covered myself up in. We had two biiiig fights about other men seeing me. Once when a doctor looked at my knee (and thus seeing the shape of my leg and touching it), and once when my teacher had to look at my face. I was accused of having done something comparable to committing adultery Smiley
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #40 - April 19, 2014, 05:46 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on April 19, 2014, 05:38 PM
    In a weird way, that line can be a chat up line don't you think? The check up can lead to some serious funny business Roll Eyes Cheesy


    In the weirdest way, if I ever stopped responding that I would make an excellent man. Grin
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #41 - April 19, 2014, 05:51 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on April 19, 2014, 05:45 PM
    Once when a doctor looked at my knee (and thus seeing the shape of my leg and touching it), and once when my teacher had to look at my face. I was accused of having done something comparable as committing adultery Smiley


    Oh man. I once had a classmate who served tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. I can't remember for the life of me which country he was in for this story, but he once told me that, while he was there, some guy and his wife came up to the base to ask my classmate if they had any female doctors inside.

    He said that his wife was having severe stomach pain, and she needed to see a doctor. My classmate said that they have  doctors, but only male doctors, and so the guy starts to walk away, and my classmate and the other soldiers try to stop him and say, "No, wait, he'll still see her, he can still help her," and the guy turned around and said that he would rather let his wife die than let a male doctor examine her. And then he took his wife and left.  wacko

  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #42 - April 19, 2014, 05:52 PM
    Quote from: Cornflower on April 19, 2014, 05:45 PM
    Yeah, Muslim men often have this idea that they now own the woman they married. Wonder where that idea came from Roll Eyes My ex said the same thing "your body is mine, only mine" and I could see how he enjoyed the idea that no one could see me under all the cloth I covered myself up in. We had two biiiig fights about other men seeing me. Once when a doctor looked at my knee (and thus seeing the shape of my leg and touching it), and once when my teacher had to look at my face. I was accused of having done something comparable to committing adultery Smiley


    Aha that look they give you, like they now own you

    Sick....
    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #43 - April 19, 2014, 06:04 PM
    Quote from: lua on April 19, 2014, 05:51 PM
    Oh man. I once had a classmate who served tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. I can't remember for the life of me which country he was in for this story, but he once told me that, while he was there, some guy and his wife came up to the base to ask my classmate if they had any female doctors inside.

    He said that his wife was having severe stomach pain, and she needed to see a doctor. My classmate said that they have  doctors, but only male doctors, and so the guy starts to walk away, and my classmate and the other soldiers try to stop him and say, "No, wait, he'll still see her, he can still help her," and the guy turned around and said that he would rather let his wife die than let a male doctor examine her. And then he took his wife and left.  wacko




    My husband was exactly like that.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #44 - April 19, 2014, 06:05 PM
    Quote from: lua on April 19, 2014, 05:21 PM
    Although hands down the worst one for me was Yeezevee's indignant response to Qtian's drawing of him. I still cannot look at that post without laughing. Thankfully I was at home, so the only weird look I got was from the husband.


    That made me cry LOL, the way Yeez majestically uses the word "twat" astounds me (p.s. check my signature).
    My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #45 - April 19, 2014, 06:06 PM
    Quote from: three on April 19, 2014, 06:04 PM
    My husband was exactly like that.


    That's terrible. Glad you got away from him.
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #46 - April 19, 2014, 06:28 PM
    I don't know how people can be so controlling and treat each other as objects or property. It seems very sick.
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #47 - April 19, 2014, 06:34 PM
    It's what they are thought, I just feel sorry for them that their minds are so limited. They will never know what it is like to be in a relationship where you treat each other as equals, where both truly love each other and treat each other with mutual respect. They are also losing out on a healthy, loving relationship by establishing male dominance.
    "I Knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." Alice in wonderland

    "This is the only heaven we have how dare you make it a hell" Dr Marlene Winell
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #48 - April 19, 2014, 07:46 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on April 19, 2014, 04:59 PM
    Girl there is no goddess but you, I'll give it all for your sake.
    I'll make your bed shake like the final earth quake.
    Fall on my face between your legs I'll bow and prostate.
    Make my circles around you, kiss you like the black stone.
    No shirk with you baby, I'll worship you alone.
    Recite prayers in your name while you let out a moan.
    Know your body like an angel had told me to read it.
    Spank you softly like the surah that told me to beat it.
    Cause you got what I want and you know how I need it.
    You're the sun in my sky, you're my heaven and earth.
    And all that's in between baby, that's what you're worth.
    I'll do whatever it takes to make you wanna be mine.
    To eat from your fruit and sip from your river of wine
    I'll break my fast with your kiss, quench my thirst with your smile.
    Call out your name so loud they're gonna call me Bilal.
    Five times a day I'll sing and won't ever stop it.
    When you reveal yourself to me, girl, I feel like a prophet.
    Your fragrance is Jannah, but you're hotter than hell.
    Even a ruqya can't break me out of your spell.
    You're what's first and what's last, what's apparent and what's hidden.
    You're the beginning, the end, and all that the pens have ever written.


    Holy Mother of Cthulhu   mysmilie_977
    I'm a dude.
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #49 - April 19, 2014, 07:50 PM
    Quote from: happymurtad on April 19, 2014, 05:22 PM
    Now THAT made me laugh out loud.  Cheesy


    There's clearly a gap in the market for comedic content for ex-Muslims. Seriously! And then you could quickly read into other faiths and do other-faith-content. Sounds....profitable.

    Edit: this would actually be a kick in the teeth for fundies. A comical counter-dawah movement. (Don't blame me if you end up dead though)
    I'm a dude.
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #50 - April 19, 2014, 08:24 PM
    I've thought that.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • (Classical) Islamic chat up lines.
     Reply #51 - April 19, 2014, 11:58 PM
    As have I. Actually somewhat seriously, tbh.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
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