I'm back
OP - February 04, 2010, 07:14 PM
Hey guys, you guys may remember my deleted bio, i joined a few months ago and left the site for a while whilst I was sorting my life out. Anyway, I'm back to update you guys.
I went to a party on NYE and met a lovely girl who then brought me to her place and introduced me to her parents. Since i was drunk and i had been dumped by my girlfriend i sorta told them about the situation i was in and said they had plenty of spare rooms i could use whenever. I got a text in the morning saying i had been kicked out, so out of desperation i spoke to the family and they were so unbelievably understanding about the whole apostasy/violence that they insisted that I stay. I ended up staying for a month and became part of their family. I cooked, cleaned and ate with them and paid for everything and anything that i could whilst also getting my 'rent' paid by the DSS. They really liked me and are my best friends. So all in all i'm fucking glad i went to that party.
For the first week I had no belongings other than the clothes i wore, my dad refused to let me into the house to get my stuff. Luckily my mum was more willing and gave me my stuff. For a whole month I lived happily, got used to my new life. Peace, tranquility, a bigger room, soundproofing, more parties etc. My mum came to me a few days ago and begged me to come back and promised me freedom, that i could come and go as i please and practice whatever religion i felt and that she would leave my dad if i came back. She was so desperate and in tears, i didn't have the heart to say no. I went back to the shithole. I still feel that my real home is back where i was a few days ago, but meh. I haven't said a single word to my dad, who has apparently 'reformed'. I hate it, but i don't spend very long in the house and when i do its in my room. The other promise made to me was that i could leave if any promises were broken. They have tested me many times in the few days i've been here and i've ended up packing my bags a few times, in the end my mum always caved in. I tamed the beast. I think the main problem they had was their position in the 'community' being tarnished. Its so superficial, the way they want me here just so people dont ask questions. As it is, things are better than they were last year, i do miss living with my other family, but i do feel sort of in debt to my mother and feel that i may have to protect her and my sister from my father when he goes off the rails again.
To the admins, thanks for deleting my posts, i wont ever ask for it again, i just felt genuinely scared then. It wont happen again because i know that whatever happens i have a safe place to go.
much love
abbas.
Be yourself.