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 Topic: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents

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  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     OP - June 01, 2010, 08:52 PM
    I feel like my parents are really restricting my social life, they will not let me:

    Date a girl

    Bring over a girl

    Go outside at night (because they believe jin or w/e they are called wonder the night and hurt people)

    Hang out with "Americans" and what they mean by that is non-muslim white people. For example, say I want to go to the movies with a white friend, I will say I am going to the movies and they will say with who. If I mention a white sounding name like Peter they will be like is he arabic and muslim? If I say no then they will make up an excuse like ooh they get drunk and you might get into a car accident (how can they drive to pick me up if they are drunk and it would be obvious lol).


    (Yes I have been making a lot of threads complaining recently, this is a way I can vent and feel better  Tongue )
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #1 - June 01, 2010, 08:56 PM
    My parents were strict, it was hard, but I learned early that I had to lay the cards on the table and tell them how it was going to be.  

    By arguing my way ahead, I may not have got 100% of what I wanted, but 40% was better than nothing & good enough.
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  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #2 - June 01, 2010, 09:01 PM
    Quote from: IsLame on June 01, 2010, 08:56 PM
    My parents were strict, it was hard, but I learned early that I had to lay the cards on the table and tell them how it was going to be.  

    By arguing my way ahead, I may not have got 100% of what I wanted, but 40% was better than nothing & good enough.


    I mean I know ways I can deceive them and lie to get what I want but it makes me feel bad....
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #3 - June 01, 2010, 09:08 PM
    Quote from: Bobonaut on June 01, 2010, 08:52 PM
    I feel like my parents are really restricting my social life, they will not let me:

    Date a girl

    Bring over a girl

    Go outside at night (because they believe jin or w/e they are called wonder the night and hurt people)

    Hang out with "Americans" and what they mean by that is non-muslim white people. For example, say I want to go to the movies with a white friend, I will say I am going to the movies and they will say with who. If I mention a white sounding name like Peter they will be like is he arabic and muslim? If I say no then they will make up an excuse like ooh they get drunk and you might get into a car accident (how can they drive to pick me up if they are drunk and it would be obvious lol).


    (Yes I have been making a lot of threads complaining recently, this is a way I can vent and feel better  Tongue )


    I was in the same position. Had to decline many parties, cinema outings, potential girl friends. Bring over a girl is out of the question!! Even mentioning that was out of the question!! Deception was way too risky.

    Hang in there mate, if you have any anger in all this, just feed it toward your concentration on your studies. Also go and play some sports, that used to help me a lot. I recommend badminton, not popular in the US but it is highly satisfying to hit a smash winner! Sorry going off on a tangent ... ciao  Wink
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  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #4 - June 01, 2010, 09:11 PM
    Quote from: Bobonaut on June 01, 2010, 08:52 PM
    I feel like my parents are really restricting my social life, they will not let me:

    Date a girl

    Bring over a girl

    Go outside at night (because they believe jin or w/e they are called wonder the night and hurt people)

    Hang out with "Americans" and what they mean by that is non-muslim white people. For example, say I want to go to the movies with a white friend, I will say I am going to the movies and they will say with who. If I mention a white sounding name like Peter they will be like is he arabic and muslim? If I say no then they will make up an excuse like ooh they get drunk and you might get into a car accident (how can they drive to pick me up if they are drunk and it would be obvious lol).


    (Yes I have been making a lot of threads complaining recently, this is a way I can vent and feel better  Tongue )


    That sucks.

    Well the only thing you can do about this is move out of the house.
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #5 - June 01, 2010, 09:26 PM
    Quote from: QueenIsabel on June 01, 2010, 09:11 PM
    That sucks.

    Well the only thing you can do about this is move out of the house.


    Yeah once I'm holding down a job of my own and have some money I won't hesitate to move out but there went my teenage years... oh well, I always tell myself at least I'm not a poor bum on the street with nothing in my pockets.

    Quote from: HighOctane on June 01, 2010, 09:08 PM
    I was in the same position. Had to decline many parties, cinema outings, potential girl friends. Bring over a girl is out of the question!! Even mentioning that was out of the question!! Deception was way too risky.

    Hang in there mate, if you have any anger in all this, just feed it toward your concentration on your studies. Also go and play some sports, that used to help me a lot. I recommend badminton, not popular in the US but it is highly satisfying to hit a smash winner! Sorry going off on a tangent ... ciao  Wink


    Haha same here. I am thinking about joining a sport next year... maybe a few sports.
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #6 - June 01, 2010, 09:32 PM
    No endorphin goodness? Seriously it's the one halal drug your parent's will approve of! Run to your favourite music, play some badminton/tennis/soccer. Also, try out skateboarding/ice-skating/mountain biking for another halal drug: epinephrine (adrenaline). Have fun! Afro Smiley
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  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #7 - June 01, 2010, 09:38 PM
    Quote from: Bobonaut on June 01, 2010, 09:26 PM
    Yeah once I'm holding down a job of my own and have some money I won't hesitate to move out but there went my teenage years... oh well, I always tell myself at least I'm not a poor bum on the street with nothing in my pockets.

    Well you could make up for some of those years by having lots of fun in your 20's.

  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #8 - June 01, 2010, 09:40 PM
    Quote from: QueenIsabel on June 01, 2010, 09:38 PM
    Well you could make up for some of those years by having lots of fun in your 20's.


    You bet I will  evil
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #9 - June 01, 2010, 09:40 PM
    Yeah dude you are 15 shaddap Tongue

    I would kill a goat right here on the spot if I could be 15 again. Christ I would kill a goat just to feel 15 again!

    I had a very messed up childhood dntaskkby  cool2
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #10 - June 01, 2010, 09:54 PM
    Quote from: BlackDog on June 01, 2010, 09:40 PM
    Yeah dude you are 15 shaddap Tongue

    I would kill a goat right here on the spot if I could be 15 again. Christ I would kill a goat just to feel 15 again!

    I had a very messed up childhood dntaskkby  cool2


     cool2
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #11 - June 02, 2010, 08:50 AM
    They are a bit strict, yeah. Can't go out at night unless it's with them, or for a work related function. Can't go to the beach with friends (I can only go with my family). I can't travel alone unless it's work related or I'm going to stay with a person they know well (family or friends). I can't wear clothes that are too revealing (unless I sneak out behind their back). Well, my mother doesn't mind that much since she's hoping I'll catch a husband that way, but my dad gets mad. As for boyfriends, it's taboo with my dad. He assumes that me and my sisters date, but we can't bring it up. As for bringing a guy home, we'll have to be engaged before that happens Wink

    I don't mind that much. But then I remember that I'm 27 :/
    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #12 - June 02, 2010, 09:44 AM
    God!  I feel sorry for you guys.   far away hug

    What really irks me is how so many immigrant parents refuse to let their kids mix with the local teenagers.  They tar all white American/British/Europeans with the same brush and then get their knickers in a twist when the native population turns round and accuses them of the very same thing, i.e. racism.

    Hang in there Bobonaut and use all that time you would normally be using to go hang out with your friends to plot your escape and/or ways to get around your parent's paranoid restrictions.  evil
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #13 - June 02, 2010, 10:02 AM
    Quote from: Nour on June 02, 2010, 09:44 AM
    God!  I feel sorry for you guys.   far away hug

    What really irks me is how so many immigrant parents refuse to let their kids mix with the local teenagers.  They tar all white American/British/Europeans with the same brush and then get their knickers in a twist when the native population turns round and accuses them of the very same thing, i.e. racism.

    Hang in there Bobonaut and use all that time you would normally be using to go hang out with your friends to plot your escape and/or ways to get around your parent's paranoid restrictions.  evil


    Plot my escape as in run away from home? Or you mean think how I am going to move out (which I am plotting).

    I can get around their restrictions if I lie
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #14 - June 02, 2010, 10:35 AM
    I feel you. It's worse when they are suspicious of you, as mine are atm.  Cry
    But hey you can still get away with stuff! Just dont tell them who exactly you're out with or throw in a muslim name like: "I'm going out with Jimmy but Muhammed (lol) might tag along. Not sure though." And then if she asks later you could just say one of your friends decided not to tag along. Little things like that will do the trick Smiley. As for girls...

    Well, don't expect SO much. It's sad, I know.

    But yeah, make up for it when you're out of the house Cheesy
    "If intelligence is feminine... I would want that mine would, in a resolute movement, come to resemble an impious woman."
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #15 - June 02, 2010, 12:53 PM
    It's like an MI:5 mission to keep things secret while at home. I once left my phone in the car without a pin security and was dreading my family reading the text messages ... luckily the phone was safe. Phew!

    Btw, I used the word drug as a metaphor for things parent's like ours deem to be really, really bad and I especially liked the word in the context since it related to being a substance (that is produced in our bodies). (I don't smoke, haven't done drugs and wouldn't touch them with a barge pole, just for the record)
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  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #16 - June 02, 2010, 12:55 PM
    I would.
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #17 - June 02, 2010, 01:26 PM
    Same here.  Many drugs are over-demonised and unfairly criminalised.
    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

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  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #18 - June 02, 2010, 01:41 PM
    Quote from: ateapotist on June 02, 2010, 01:26 PM
    Many drugs are over-demonised and unfairly criminalised.


    Now THAT'S a sig-worthy quote!
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #19 - June 02, 2010, 01:46 PM
    I'm gonna print it on a t-shirt and attend an AA meeting  dance
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #20 - June 02, 2010, 01:53 PM
    Something wrong with drugs?  Huh?


    that being said:
    Quote from: ateapotist on June 02, 2010, 01:26 PM
    Many drugs are over-demonised and unfairly criminalised.

     bunny yes Afro
    "If intelligence is feminine... I would want that mine would, in a resolute movement, come to resemble an impious woman."
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #21 - June 02, 2010, 01:53 PM
    Oh no worries ... ahh didn't mean it like that ... ah pants digging a hole now ... let's just say it's not for me but anyone who takes drugs well it is their choice just as much as it is for them to drink, smoke, etc. I read somewhere that certain drugs have less impact than alcohol but by law are treated more seriously in the UK.
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  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #22 - June 03, 2010, 02:21 AM
    Well my parents although not  very religious were rather strict in their rules. For example, they didn't allow me to go out at night until I was 17-18.
    Now I enjoy good freedoms but they were all earned and not given. My stubbornness, determination and sometimes confrontational attitude paid off pretty well.  Afro


    They're also getting more lax with sister. I was afraid that they might become more strict with her after we moved to the UK but thankfully that didn't happen. They allow her to go to her friends' houses (female friends of course) as well as to cinemas, shopping centres, and restaurants. They even allowed her to go to a bar on the last day of school because all her friends were going and it was the last day she was gonna see most of them.
    As for boys, well she e-mails/calls some of her male colleagues to ask about homework and she friended a number of boys on facebook and my parents seem to be totally OK with that. But of course that's different from having a boyfriend which I think my parents wouldn't approve of. Unless he was a potential fiance and he met my sister only in public places.

    Forgot to say that all her friends are not Muslims and with the exception of one Philippino girl they are all white.


    BTW guys I don't get why some of your parents have reservations about you having white friends ?! 
    I mean we're not talking about marrying a white guy/girl or having a white boyfriend/girlfriend. I can get that. But no white friends? what the fuck? I honestly don't get it  Huh?


     
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #23 - June 03, 2010, 07:51 AM
    Quote from: Iraqi Atheist on June 03, 2010, 02:21 AM
    BTW guys I don't get why some of your parents have reservations about you having white friends ?! 
    I mean we're not talking about marrying a white guy/girl or having a white boyfriend/girlfriend. I can get that. But no white friends? what the fuck? I honestly don't get it  Huh?

    I guess its to avoid corruption and to have a taste of freedom. Like Josef Fritzl's daughter, what they dont know, wont hurt them.  Fortunately my parents werent that bad, in fact they encouraged assimilating with the natives  Smiley, as they realised that was in my best interest.
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  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #24 - June 03, 2010, 09:31 AM
    Quote from: Iraqi Atheist on June 03, 2010, 02:21 AM
    BTW guys I don't get why some of your parents have reservations about you having white friends ?! 
    I mean we're not talking about marrying a white guy/girl or having a white boyfriend/girlfriend. I can get that. But no white friends? what the fuck? I honestly don't get it  Huh?


    Well I still have a lot of white friends and I think my parents know but If I ask to go somewhere with any of them I can't.
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #25 - June 03, 2010, 10:22 AM
    That's just blatant racism if you ask me.  Huh?
    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    The sleeper has awakened -  Dune

    Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #26 - June 03, 2010, 11:29 AM
    Yes, it probably is, although I think its more about preservation of a dying culture, and perhaps even a degree of self-preservation (patriarchal family values etc)
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  • Re: Insane restrictions of Muslim parents
     Reply #27 - June 03, 2010, 11:48 AM
    +1

    I also think it is more to do with the fear of their teenage son getting westernised and adopting unislamic ways.  Little do they know that he has already left Islam.  Wink

    I also like to think in terms of the psychology of power sometimes.  If their son becomes westernised, their will appear backward and they will lose power.  Everyone wants more power not less, and we all try to obtain/retain that power in different ways.
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