I feel so so angry, and I don't know what to do with this anger. I guess I'm lucky I wasn't a born Muslim. The "only" person I need to leave (or who will leave me no doubt) is my fiancé. It breaks my heart but I'm tired of following Islam and trying to wrap my head around things that don't make sense.
Welcome, my condolences on the death in your family.
Yeah the idea that an Omnibenevolent deity would merciless torture large numbers of human beings for eternity is cruel and irrational.
My personal advice would be to use the anger to motivate you to look into criticisms of Islam, and to study science and humanism. That's what I did, and I've found out some mind blowing and insightful things.
I'd strongly advise you to watch this deconversion story. Although it's the story of a deconversion from Christianity, I found it really helped me to understand my own deconversion process - both intellectually and psychologically.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12rP8ybp13s&feature=channel_video_titleAnd check out the 3 videos in my signature.