Thanks for sharing your experience. I don't consider 50 old personally, I've seen people in their 60's who are in significantly better shape than myself, and many people I know in their 20's.
Are you pursing a spiritual path or practices now?
The group think, and tribalism are so incredibly entrenched in muslim communities IMO, that I went into denial as a coping mechanism. I kept discovering community schism due to differing opinion, nationality and race, I simply couldn't believe it.
first congrats on revealing your apostacy. That took balls, considering your circumstances, and
so very happy your wife accepts you as you are. Totally hilarious on the iranian dude LOL. At least you have a friend nearby you can share with.
I tried several times to get involved with the sufis. I basically had doors slammed in my face
there, too. I was intrigued, as I had been a holiness pentecostal for a number of years, and definitely attracted to the more spiritual side of the sufi way, and had studied kabalism, and the sufis seemed to know what I was talking about.
Like I told my landlady (who is a die hard southern baptist

) Im taking a break from ALL
religion. My soul, if I even have one, is on haiatus LOL.