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Theme Changer

 Topic: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !

 (Read 2855 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     OP - June 28, 2012, 09:04 AM

     
    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
     
    - Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
    - Why the early bird gets the worm;
    - Life isn't always fair;
    - And maybe it was my fault.

     
    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
     
    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
     
    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
     
    It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
     
    Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
     
    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
     
    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
     
    Common Sense was preceded in death,
    -by his parents, Truth and Trust,
    -by his wife, Discretion,
    -by his daughter, Responsibility,
    -and by his son,  Reason.
     
    He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
    - I Know My Rights
    - I Want It Now
    - Someone Else Is To Blame                               right     Cheesy rofl Lmao
    - I'm A Victim
    - Pay me for Doing Nothing
     
    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
     
     



    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #1 - June 28, 2012, 09:09 AM

    Beautiful.

    And all true.


    (Sez a crotchety old git.)
  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #2 - June 28, 2012, 09:27 AM

    What a load of rubbish.  Example - the hot coffee thing.  That woman was awarded money from McDonalds for burning herself with hot coffee because the staff fucked up, not because the woman was stupid.  I forget now whether they had the coffee machine set wrong or they didn't put the lid on properly, or maybe both, but her award was deserved.  Of course, the "political correctness gone mad" brigade twisted it to make it sound like a frivolous law suit but they're always full of shit.  They still think loony left councils have renamed Christmas "winterval". 

    Its also perfectly legal to defend yourself against a burglar in your own home.  Its just not legal to shoot them through the spine so that they're paralyzed, then walk up to them, reload the gun, put it to their head and shoot their brains out in cold blood.  That's murder and always has been.

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #3 - June 28, 2012, 11:00 AM

    What a load of rubbish.  Example - the hot coffee thing.  That woman was awarded money from McDonalds for burning herself with hot coffee because the staff fucked up, not because the woman was stupid. [/b]


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald%27s_Restaurants

    Quote
    On February 27, 1992, Stella Liebeck, a 79-year-old woman from Albuquerque, New Mexico, ordered a 49-cent cup of coffee from the drive-through window of a local McDonald's restaurant located at 5001 Gibson Boulevard S.E. Liebeck was in the passenger's seat of her grandson's Ford Probe, and her grandson Chris parked the car so that Liebeck could add cream and sugar to her coffee. Liebeck placed the coffee cup between her knees and pulled the far side of the lid toward her to remove it. In the process, she spilled the entire cup of coffee on her lap.[11] Liebeck was wearing cotton sweatpants; they absorbed the coffee and held it against her skin, scalding her thighs, buttocks, and groin.[12] Liebeck was taken to the hospital, where it was determined that she had suffered third-degree burns on six percent of her skin and lesser burns over sixteen percent.[13] She remained in the hospital for eight days while she underwent skin grafting. During this period, Liebeck lost 20 pounds (9 kg, nearly 20% of her body weight), reducing her down to 83 pounds (38 kg).[14] Two years of medical treatment followed.

     
    Quote
    Its also perfectly legal to defend yourself against a burglar in your own home.  Its just not legal to shoot them through the spine so that they're paralyzed, then walk up to them, reload the gun, put it machine set wrong or they didn't put the lid on properly, or maybe both, but her award was deserved.  Of course, the "political correctness gone mad" brigade twisto their head and shoot their brains out in cold blood.  That's murder and always has been.


    What if the burglar is a violent person,who doesn't think twice about killing anyone and you have a gun in your hand,tell me honestly how many people will have the presence of mind  to avoid killing him. The natural reaction will be to get him before he gets you. Pure survival instinct at play. It's the fear that grips you in situations like these that makes you go overboard.



    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #4 - June 28, 2012, 11:05 AM

    Quote
    What if the burglar is a violent person,who doesn't think twice about killing anyone and you have a gun in your hand,tell me honestly how many people will have the presence of mind  to avoid killing him. The natural reaction will be to get him before he gets you. Pure survival instinct at play. It's the fear that grips you in situations like these that makes you go overboard.


    That's not illegal.  So what's the problem?  (Its also not the case that the London Times is talking about, they're referring to Tony Martin whose actions were what I described in my post, ie, murder).

    Btw, wikipedia = fail.  The reason she ended up with third degree burns is that McDonalds had the machine set higher than manufacturers recommendations due to some cost cutting exercise.  If they'd followed the guidelines on the machine they probably wouldn't have been sued even if she had burned herself.  Look up the documentary "Hot Coffee", it explains the whole case in more detail.

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #5 - June 28, 2012, 11:43 AM

    Dearly Beloved,

    We are here to remember the artist formerly known as hypocrucifier, whose sensibilities did not survive more than the briefest contact with the Daily Mail. We commend him to his eternal rest amongst the ranks of the Eternally Outraged, for surely the inevitable embolism cometh his way soon.

    We pray you, Lord, in your mercy, that he shall be spared the worst of any perpetual nostalgia, and that he forbears from writing to newspapers in the dreaded Green Ink. Let us, O Lord, remember him as he was.

    Amen.
  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #6 - June 28, 2012, 12:28 PM

    WOW! what an ingenious liberal response! clap clap

    I have been deservedly embarrassed ! Tongue Roll Eyes

     



    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #7 - June 28, 2012, 12:51 PM

    Personally, I'd be embarassed to copypasta such a cringe-making screed, but if that's your thing:

    http://message.snopes.com/forumdisplay.php?f=15

    You're welcome.
  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #8 - June 28, 2012, 03:09 PM

     Cheesy rofl so instead of creating a special obit for me you should have given me the link in your previous reply.
    I don't have the benefit of living in UK to know the context in which that obit was made. I was focusing on parts that have general appeal[which is why it must have become so popular].
    BTW if all the news paper reporters in this world were to emulate the copy&paste action  in their reportage,instead of giving their 'esteemed' views,people would have a greater chance of knowing the unvarnished truth!

    For eg. I found that incident[srsly I had to reread to spot it] where the six year old[FFS] boy was dismissed from school for merely kissing his classmate incredibly crazy.
    Of course everything depends on whether that incident was reported faithfully or not. In any case, common on! a 6 year old being charged with sexual harassment is extremely nutty and twisted and surely a common sense killer !



    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #9 - June 28, 2012, 03:22 PM

    You may need this:


  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #10 - June 28, 2012, 03:33 PM

     Cheesy for what ? To get at the truth?
    Anyway common sense tells me :


    far away hug



    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #11 - June 28, 2012, 03:55 PM

    Well..... forgetting whether obituary, chain letter, prank or whatever, who cares what the source and hypocrucifier has a point. A lot of that stuff IS nonsensical and a big dose of common sense wouldn't harm a lot of people either.

    "The greatest general is not the one who can take the most cities or spill the most blood. The greatest general is the one who can take Heaven and Earth without waging the battle." ~ Sun Tzu

  • Re: An Obituary @London Times --------Brilliant !
     Reply #12 - June 28, 2012, 05:00 PM

    That's no more true now than it has been in any other generation.  Probably somewhat less so, actually.  For example the six year old accused of sexual harrassment for kissing a classmate - that's stupid, but less stupid than sentencing a destitute 11 year old girl to prison with hard labour for stealing a loaf of bread or a pair of shoes.


    http://www.cbsnews.com/2300-504083_162-10012739.html

    People who complain that common sense has died and hanker after some mythical good old days just don't know their history in my opinion.

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
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