Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression

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- Toona
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
OP - May 01, 2013, 09:51 PM

It's kinda ironic considering that Islam promises the devout inner peace and threatens the others with misery in life before death.

I've been diagnosed with various mental illnesses including depression, bipolar, and even mild schizophrenia (It's a much longer list in actuality). I've went to psychiatrist after psychiatrist, none of them did me much good, although some the pills certainly helped me find my way here. My depression only started to truly fade away when I started questioning my beliefs, and only now that I've denounced Islam that I'm finally feeling free of the weight that's been on my chest all this time. I'm not on medication anymore either.

Life had no meaning before. It was an insignificant test. Now I realize that this life might be all I have, and I have to live it the best I can without living in fear of God's wrath all the time. I don't know what happens to me after death and whether is an afterlife, but I gathered enough evidence that it's not the depressing version Islam offers. I want to have a successful career, get a girlfriend, live my life, see the world...etc.

A lot of damage has been done. I've permanently dropped out of the best University in my country after many years of studying, and I've lived a highly underachieving life with no purpose. But I'm still in my mid-twenties, and I can be proud of one thing: finding my way out of this hole, which is extremely rare for someone in my position.

Now it's time for me to rise from the ashes. I'm feeling a burst of energy in my head, and I feel like I'm ready to begin a new chapter in my life. But where do I start? What could I do? Is it too late to start fresh?

I'm a very specific kind of ungeekly geek who loves computers and all kinds of sciences, and I would love to be a scientist of sort. I thought about specializing in psychology, math, physics, software engineering, biology, astronomy, and even music.

I'm really like a child who's just woken up in a world full of possibilities, especially because I have Asperger's, and have very little real-life experience. I really don't know where or how to start. I just know one thing: It is time to start searching for answers.
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #1 - May 01, 2013, 10:09 PM

Freedom! I'm glad you have the chains off. I know that feeling of release. It's never to late to pursue something you know you want/love. Best wishes, Toona.

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #2 - May 01, 2013, 10:23 PM

Cool. You do realise that a Muslim psychiatrist would probably now diagnose you as suffering from acute Islamophobia.

Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West.
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #3 - May 02, 2013, 07:01 AM

Not surprising Islam is definitely based upon freedom of thought...unless you're muslim ofcourse
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #4 - May 02, 2013, 11:57 AM

Congratulations on picking yourself up Toona
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #5 - May 02, 2013, 11:59 AM

http://journeyfree.org/rts/

Quote
Religious Trauma Syndrome has a very recognizable set of symptoms, a definitive set of causes, and a debilitating cycle of abuse. There are ways to stop the abuse and recover.

Symptoms of Religious Trauma Syndrome:

• Cognitive: Confusion, poor critical thinking ability, negative beliefs about self-ability & self-worth, black & white thinking, perfectionism, difficulty with decision-making

• Emotional: Depression, anxiety, anger, grief, loneliness, difficulty with pleasure, loss of meaning

• Social: Loss of social network, family rupture, social awkwardness, sexual difficulty, behind schedule on developmental tasks

• Cultural: Unfamiliarity with secular world; “fish out of water” feelings, difficulty belonging, information gaps (e.g. evolution, modern art, music)

Causes of Religious Trauma Syndrome:

Authoritarianism coupled with toxic theology which is received and reinforced at church, school, and home results in:

• Suppression of normal child development - cognitive, social, emotional, moral stages are arrested

• Damage to normal thinking and feeling abilities -information is limited and controlled; dysfunctional beliefs taught; independent thinking condemned; feelings condemned

• External locus of control – knowledge is revealed, not discovered; hierarchy of authority enforced; self not a reliable or good source

• Physical and sexual abuse – patriarchal power; unhealthy sexual views; punishment used as for discipline

Cycle of Abuse

The doctrines of original sin and eternal damnation cause the most psychological distress by creating the ultimate double bind. You are guilty and responsible, and face eternal punishment. Yet you have no ability to do anything about it.

You must conform to a mental test of “believing” in an external, unseen source for salvation, and maintain this state of belief until death. You cannot ever stop sinning altogether, so you must continue to confess and be forgiven, hoping that you have met the criteria despite complete lack of feedback about whether you will actually make it to heaven.

Salvation is not a free gift after all.

For the sincere believer, this results in an unending cycle of shame and relief. It is a cycle of abuse.

Written about xianity, but....

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #6 - May 02, 2013, 04:19 PM

"people who have not survived an authoritarian fundamentalist indoctrination do not realize what a complete mind-rape it really is." http://journeyfree.org/rts/

I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with fates and actions of human beings.
― Albert Einstein
- Toona
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #7 - May 02, 2013, 05:48 PM

True story.

Thanks for the support, everyone. I do appreciate any kind of advice/info/comments.
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #8 - May 02, 2013, 07:00 PM

I am so happy for you. It only goes to show the power of mental rehabilitation
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #9 - May 02, 2013, 08:37 PM

Man you don't understand how good it made me feel by reading your whole post. I'm going through the same thing. I'm getting out of it too. Islam is really a depression of life. I'm very very very happy that you've got this feeling. Very happy for you even if I don't know you. That's called Freedom.

Il faut savoir grandir et aller de l'avant.
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #10 - May 02, 2013, 09:08 PM

@ Toona,

I feel for you. I've been battling anxiety, depression, and bi-polar symptoms for years, on top of having Asperger Syndrome myself

Coming to Islam as a convert from a non-religious family I was able to objectively view Islam as an outsider and after living several years as a practicing Muslim I have come to the conclusion that religion in general does not know how to handle mental illnesses. Most religious people are in denial that there is any such thing as mental illness. Or else they say it is a purely western malady which is total bullshit. I even had a Muslim friend tell me once that depression does not exist. I wanted to slap her across the face!

Since I have left Islam (and my Muslim marriage) and gone back to living my life the way I want I have been happier.

If you want to see how Islam affects Muslims mentally, just look at the faces of the Muslims you see on the streets. Do they look happy? Do they look contented with their lot under Allah? Probably not. I have notices both in the UK and the US that Muslims are usually the most miserable looking people I have seen on the bus, the street, at the shipping mall, etc.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The sleeper has awakened - Dune

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish!
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Leaving Islam almost completely cured my life-long depression
Reply #11 - May 03, 2013, 12:01 AM

Thanks y'all.

Quote
Coming to Islam as a convert from a non-religious family I was able to objectively view Islam as an outsider and after living several years as a practicing Muslim I have come to the conclusion that religion in general does not know how to handle mental illnesses. Most religious people are in denial that there is any such thing as mental illness. Or else they say it is a purely western malady which is total bullshit. I even had a Muslim friend tell me once that depression does not exist. I wanted to slap her across the face!

I know right?? "You just have to read more Quran."

I'm curious, what was it about Islam that impressed you so much that you converted?
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