The Book of Dave

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- Quod Sum Eris
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The Book of Dave
OP - July 25, 2013, 07:39 AM

Hello everyone at the CEMB! My name is Sam. Quod Sum Eris was kind enough to lend myself and others his account on this site. We are very pleased to see that so many people have realised the truth of Islam and other false and mistaken religions. Quod said to us quite clearly learning about religion is the best way to fight it which is why he's allowed us all to post using his account, and we quite agree!

Every religion is wrong. All of them have so many errors which the wonderful posters here have discovered for themselves. You are fortunate to have been awakened at this point in your life, just in time for the Prophet of the 21st century, Dave himself! Congratulations, surely this is God's will.

The Book of Dave answers every question you have in your life. Why women are scary, the best way to lose your virginity, why hamsters are evil, and much much more!

If you have questions please ask. Myself and Bill, along with Tom, Dick and Harry are here to bring you to the light! In the event of us being unable to respond in good time for whatever reason, Larry, Curly and Moe are standing by!

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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The Book of Dave
Reply #1 - July 25, 2013, 08:41 AM

2/10, unidiomatic mokni.

Before it gets too late, you will find escape.
- BerberElla
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The Book of Dave
Reply #2 - July 25, 2013, 08:53 AM

Just to double check with you Quod, is Sam and the friends using your account part of the sketch as I think it is, and not actually real people logging in with your account which we don't allow?

Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
- Quod Sum Eris
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Reply #3 - July 26, 2013, 09:19 AM

Hello BerberElla, Bill here with Tom Dick and Harry guiding my words.

This is a real thing. But that's fine. While we do understand your concern Dave said that God has made it so that our exclusion from this site and thus inhibiting our righteous path is impossible. Any attempts to go against the will of God is impossible. It is simply not in the ability of people to do this. Any people going against God's will shall set their fate to the ultimate end in the fiery lake of burning suffering.

We are here to help spread the one true religion, spelled out in the pages of the Book of Dave. Tom Dick and Harry are full of wisdom and opinions, hence the chosen disciples to spread the truth. If I could draw your attention to the names themselves, I'm sure it brings to mind the old saying. This is not a coincidence, rather it is proof of the new divine path.

The phrase "Tom, Dick and Harry" is a placeholder for multiple unspecified people; "Tom, Dick or Harry" plays the same role for one unspecified person. The phrase most commonly occurs as "every Tom, Dick and Harry", meaning everyone, and "any Tom, Dick or Harry", meaning anyone, although Brewer defines the term to specify "a set of nobodies; persons of no note". As such, it is fitting that our first Priests and Scholars are at once everyone and no one. They were, quite literally, born for this. Such is the power of God.

According to the Book of Dave this was set out as a specific plan from God to prepare people for the truth of the words of the Prophet Dave, and is the fulfilment of an ancient prophecy thousands of years old that was revealed to Dave last Tuesday and immediately added to the Scripture. Truly a revelation from most high.

"And lo it was revealed to Dave that the coming of Tom Dick and Harry was foretold in ancient prophecy sent down by God, destroyed and forgotten by the vile, the unbelievers, the idolaters. There place shall be in the fiery lake of burning suffering".

Undeniable proof of the truth of the teachings. Perhaps they believed God would change his mind if they kept the secret and let it die with them. Though how anyone could believe mere humans could sway God's opinion one way or another is quite beyond my understanding. Congratulations, you have taken the first step to making God like you.

May the wisdom of Dave bring you to the Light.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
- Wiselyskeptical
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The Book of Dave
Reply #4 - August 06, 2013, 11:10 PM

Where can we find this magnificent scripture?

Just like Johnny Flynn said, the breath I've taken and the one I must to go on.
- Quod Sum Eris
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The Book of Dave
Reply #5 - August 08, 2013, 02:40 AM

Hello Wiselyskeptical, thank you for your question. The Book of Dave is a continuously evolving Holy Scripture being written as we speak, transcribing the words and deeds of the Holy Prophet Dave. Any questions you may have can be found in the Book of Dave and will be relayed after asking. If we cannot find them in the Book of Dave, we shall ask Dave directly. After he has given his view, they will become apart of the Holy Book and we shall respond accordingly.

May the teachings of Dave light your way.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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