Religious Parents

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- Jack Torrance
- Ex-Muslim
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Religious Parents
OP - October 31, 2008, 09:36 AM

I know so many people who are in this position of not wanting to upset their parents, which whilst I find it very sweet of them, does it actually help anyone? A lie is a lie and someone's bound to find out and when they do - it will surely be much worse? Yes their religion is important to them, but if they believed they were from the planet Mars, would it also be okay to pretend that you believe them and agree? Are you not perpetuating the insanity of religion by the kid glove treatment? Personally, I find the principle of imposing your beliefs on your children so vile that I cannot sympathise with the parents in this situation, as in, why would it be up to me to tread carefully over their ridiculous beliefs, surely the onus is on them to re-assess, not expect blind following. I understand that tradition and culture are important, but I believe truth to be even more so. Feelings shouldn't be hurt if you can help it (or unless it's Baal you're talking to) but It's not a 'does my bum look big in this' situ, it's a lot more serious and potentially damaging than that. It's a personal truth, a time to stand up moment. No? Yes?

What do you lot reckon? Is there any point in becoming an 'apostate' if you are afraid to tell your parents?

Ha Ha.
- speaklow
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Re: Religious Parents
Reply #1 - October 31, 2008, 09:44 AM

When confessing to parents, like everything there is a time and a place.

There may be some very good reasons why one wouldn't, for example how many of the young apostates on this forum are still financially dependent on their parents.

If I were still finacially dependent on my parents I would probably keep quiet until I had got myself a steady job and somewhere to live before dropping any bombshells.
- Jack Torrance
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Re: Religious Parents
Reply #2 - October 31, 2008, 10:25 AM

Quote from: speaklow on October 31, 2008, 09:44 AM
When confessing to parents, like everything there is a time and a place.

There may be some very good reasons why one wouldn't, for example how many of the young apostates on this forum are still financially dependent on their parents.

If I were still finacially dependent on my parents I would probably keep quiet until I had got myself a steady job and somewhere to live before dropping any bombshells.

Yeah, I guess that would make sense . Sometimes religion can work to your advantage!

Ha Ha.
- osmanthus
- Cave dwelling
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Re: Religious Parents
Reply #3 - October 31, 2008, 10:33 AM

Go the psychological warfare: out-Muslim them until they're begging you to apostasise. They'll be so glad you did then.

Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West.
- BerberElla
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Re: Religious Parents
Reply #4 - October 31, 2008, 11:39 AM

As long as you are old enough to move on and move out I would always recommend standing your ground and being honest.

It is easier said than done, but when it's done you feel better (even if you feel bad about it).

Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
- ingenico10
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Re: Religious Parents
Reply #5 - November 02, 2008, 12:01 AM

With my upbringing, god was always an optional extra. I can never get my mind around that it is such a big deal. That it is, is beyond question.

Oh well, different folks, different strokes.
- Paloma
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Re: Religious Parents
Reply #6 - November 02, 2008, 11:46 AM

Quote from: Jack Torrance on October 31, 2008, 09:36 AM
I know so many people who are in this position of not wanting to upset their parents, which whilst I find it very sweet of them, does it actually help anyone? A lie is a lie and someone's bound to find out and when they do - it will surely be much worse? Yes their religion is important to them, but if they believed they were from the planet Mars, would it also be okay to pretend that you believe them and agree? Are you not perpetuating the insanity of religion by the kid glove treatment? Personally, I find the principle of imposing your beliefs on your children so vile that I cannot sympathise with the parents in this situation, as in, why would it be up to me to tread carefully over their ridiculous beliefs, surely the onus is on them to re-assess, not expect blind following. I understand that tradition and culture are important, but I believe truth to be even more so. Feelings shouldn't be hurt if you can help it (or unless it's Baal you're talking to) but It's not a 'does my bum look big in this' situ, it's a lot more serious and potentially damaging than that. It's a personal truth, a time to stand up moment. No? Yes?

What do you lot reckon? Is there any point in becoming an 'apostate' if you are afraid to tell your parents?

How old were you when you apostatised and how did your parents take it ?

Like a compass needle that points north, a man?s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.

Khaled Hosseini - A thousand splendid suns.
- Jack Torrance
- Ex-Muslim
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Re: Religious Parents
Reply #7 - November 02, 2008, 05:26 PM

Quote from: Paloma on November 02, 2008, 11:46 AM
Quote from: Jack Torrance on October 31, 2008, 09:36 AM
I know so many people who are in this position of not wanting to upset their parents, which whilst I find it very sweet of them, does it actually help anyone? A lie is a lie and someone's bound to find out and when they do - it will surely be much worse? Yes their religion is important to them, but if they believed they were from the planet Mars, would it also be okay to pretend that you believe them and agree? Are you not perpetuating the insanity of religion by the kid glove treatment? Personally, I find the principle of imposing your beliefs on your children so vile that I cannot sympathise with the parents in this situation, as in, why would it be up to me to tread carefully over their ridiculous beliefs, surely the onus is on them to re-assess, not expect blind following. I understand that tradition and culture are important, but I believe truth to be even more so. Feelings shouldn't be hurt if you can help it (or unless it's Baal you're talking to) but It's not a 'does my bum look big in this' situ, it's a lot more serious and potentially damaging than that. It's a personal truth, a time to stand up moment. No? Yes?

What do you lot reckon? Is there any point in becoming an 'apostate' if you are afraid to tell your parents?

How old were you when you apostatised and how did your parents take it ?

I never officially 'apsostasised' I just grew up as the black sheep anyway, so my parents just assumed I wasn't interested, rightly If I had been like other members of my family, practising muslims, they would, or my dad would, have been not so much upset as affronted. He enjoyed the mental manipulation of it, but would never have sunk as low as to say he would disown. But then, that's exactly what my sister and her husband did to their daughter,

Ha Ha.
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