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 Topic: Spousal Rape

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  • Spousal Rape
     OP - August 19, 2009, 03:13 PM

    http://www.thewip.net/contributors/2009/06/bahrain_offers_women_no_protec.html

    Bahrain Offers Women No Protection from Spousal Rape

    Getting a divorce and custody of one?s children is very difficult in Bahrain, even in cases where a husband sexually attacks his wife. The issue was exposed to the public last year, when an Arab woman married to a Bahraini was granted a divorce by the courts after she lost part of her breast during a violent sexual encounter with her spouse. A medical report submitted during the case citing the need for corrective surgery was valid enough evidence for the judge to call off the marriage. Though such cases are rarely highlighted in the media here, the plight of this woman made top headlines in many regional newspapers.


    ? Bahrain's Ministry of Justice building which houses the country's courts. Photograph by Biju Haridas. ?Similar to almost all Arab and Islamic countries, Bahrain offers women no protection from their sexually abusive husbands. Only in cases of physical injury will the courts grant a divorce. For those who bear no physical marks, victims of sexual abuse feel helpless, as marital rape isn?t penalized in this part of the world.
    In a region that still considers sex a taboo, spousal rape remains in the dark as most families fear even acknowledging its existence. Many women live in pain and humiliation because they were raised to believe that their bodies belong to their husbands who have the right to enjoy them as objects.

    In many parts of the Islamic world, hardliners and social misconceptions promote this submission - wives are instructed to never deny the sexual demands of their husbands, as disobedience is perceived as a violation of Islamic principles. But there is something terribly wrong with this interpretation of Islam ? no woman should have to tolerate sexual abuse from her husband or be told that she won?t get into heaven if she doesn?t.

    An internet-based survey conducted by a Saudi newspaper reveals that 93% of women surveyed admitted experiencing sexual problems in their marriage. According to female activist Dr. Madeha Al-Ajroosh, socially conservative Saudi Arabia lacks any formal or comprehensive survey about partner rape. She told Arab News that it is difficult to carry out any scientific survey, as ?few women are willing to open up and discuss their sexual lives.?

    The situation isn?t much better in Egypt. According to a study by the Al Nadeen Center for Psychological Rehabilitation, 29% of Egyptian wives surveyed throughout the country are subjected to sexual violence. The study also reveals that many husbands choose physically and psychologically inappropriate timing to engage in sexual relations. Women confessed that their husbands become monsters in bed, especially with the affordable and widespread availability of sexual supplements for men. The study highlights that most of this violence can?t be proven for the court to take action.

    And as the entire world now knows, in Afghanistan, President Hamid Karzai recently authorized a law that legalizes spousal rape among Shiite couples, denying women the right to say no to their husbands.

    At the local level, Bahrain?s penal code doesn?t criminalize spousal rape for many religious and social reasons. There is no legislation that tackles the issue so many wives suffer their humiliation in silence. Dr Bana Buzabon, president of the Batelco Anti-Domestic Violence Center, says some women feel they have to live with the abuse because of their husband?s psychological problems. Others who want to fight for their dignity and physical safety ?are shattered when they realize that the legal system cannot help them,? she says.

    Dr. Buzabon?s center fielded 8,111 cases of domestic violence in 2008 ? nearly 50% of which she says involved spousal sexual abuse. ?We cannot help in most of the cases as the courts ask for evidence. And even if there are [physical] signs judges feel that women, to some extent, allow their husbands to abuse them.? Dr. Buzabon says that most women don?t ask for help fearful of the humiliation that comes with being disrespected in a society that positions men as masters over women.

    President of the Bahrain Women?s Union, Mariam Al Ruwai, says that 43% of the country?s divorce cases have been filed because of violence. ?There is an average of 4,000 marriages taking place in Bahrain annually and only an average of 1,000 divorces. That doesn?t mean we don?t have marital problems, but many women fear the maltreatment they might face by conservative judges if they sue their husbands [for divorce].?

    Noora is one of the many women who suffer in silence. Her nightmare is far from over - for the past 23 years, she has tolerated her husband?s sexual disorders to avoid disgracing the name of her family.

    ?When I secretly told my elders about his tough and frequent sexual desires when I was newly wed, I was told to be patient as we were both young,? she explains. ?[I was told that] he would become gentle over time, but that never happened. My three children are working now and his sexual desire remains unaffected,? she says.

    ?I was instructed by my parents to not open my mouth and told that good wives don?t discuss such topics. I listened to them but all I got is heartache and a weak body in return,? Noora says bitterly.

    Many of the country?s scholars maintain the opposite stance when it comes to spousal rape. Scholar and judge at the Shariah courts, Shaikh Mohsin Al Asfoor says men have the right to demand sexual relations with their wives as the word ?rape? doesn?t exist between couples. He says that Shariah courts don?t penalize men for forcing their wives to have sex with them, but press charges of abuse ? not rape ? only when physical injuries occur.

    ?Shariah courts have declined many cases filed by women against their husbands because they forced them to have sex, especially females who signed the marriage contracts but were waiting to be wedded, because Islamic regulations are clear in the right of men to have sex with their wives whenever they wish,? he explains.

    Religious educator Fatima Busandel agrees with Shaikh Al Asfoor saying that women can?t say no to their husbands and that if they tolerate hardship in their sexual relations they will receive God?s blessing for trying to protect their homes. ?I don?t mean to ask women to keep quiet about their sexually violent men, but try to change them. 50% of violence against females is because they don?t know how to deal with men.? She says that she?s come across many cases in which women succeeded in changing their husbands with patience.

    Female activist Afaf Al Jamri doesn't see it that way. She says that many women tolerate this sexual violence because of distorted interpretations of Islamic regulations, mainly Hadhith (or the oral traditions passed down from the teachings of Prophet Mohammed). She calls on society to focus exclusively on the Quran and its verses since she feels they are clear and can?t be misinterpreted.

    The Ministry of Justice released statistics to parliament in May highlighting that there are currently 1,231 marital cases not yet closed in the country?s Shariah courts. A study conducted by the Bahrain?s Women Union reveals that some of these women have been fighting to end their marriages for the past ten years.

    Spousal rape is an issue that must be addressed in the Gulf region as there is no religion that accepts or promotes the humiliation and suffering of its followers. Sex isn?t just for men ? mutual satisfaction and understanding should be an integral part of all spousal sexual relations. Women must be empowered to fight for their rights and say no to spousal rape. The next generation of women is watching.
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #1 - August 19, 2009, 03:30 PM

    Quote
    an Arab woman married to a Bahraini was granted a divorce by the courts after she lost part of her breast during a violent sexual encounter with her spouse


    What?

    ...
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #2 - August 19, 2009, 08:22 PM

    I'm guessing he may have bitten it off or something. What a sick bastard either way!
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #3 - August 19, 2009, 09:24 PM

    i think it is only fair that the judge permits her to bite his dingalingaling off! ouch!

    ...
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #4 - August 20, 2009, 12:59 AM

    This is also going on in the christian world of the Bahamas:

    Quote
    August 6th, 2009

    Men, Women Divided Over Sex Bill
    By Nikia Deveaux

    Tongues are wagging over a proposed amendment to the controversial Sexual Offences Act, which has men and women all over The Bahamas sounding off.

    The bill, which is designed to outlaw marital rape, was tabled in the House of Assembly last month.

    However, many Bahamian men, like taxi driver Pemmie Sutherland, say the bill is "simply unnecessary."

    "It is ridiculous for them to try to make that a law, because I don?t think a man can rape his own wife. After two people get married, the Bible says that they become one ? one flesh. How is it possible to rape what is yours?" asked Mr. Sutherland.  furious

    Elvis Russell told the Journal that he does not support the bill either because there is no such thing as rape within a marriage.

    "Even if a woman says no to her husband it still can?t be considered rape because she is his wife. He already paid his dues at the church and she already said ?I do,? so from then on, even if [a man] forces sex on his wife, it isn?t rape," he said.  Headsman

    Despite popular belief that most women are in support of the bill, there were quite a few Bahamian women who share Mr. Sutherland?s and Mr. Russell?s views.

    Deanne Sweeting said that she strongly disagrees with the bill and does not understand why so many women are supporting it.

    "I disagree with the bill because I disagree that a man can rape his wife. The Bible tells me that a man?s body is his wife?s and her body is his. How could he rape her?" asked Ms. Sweeting.

    Coralee Clarke told the Journal that although she is not married, she believes that a man is entitled to sex from his wife whenever he feels like it.

    "If a man wants to have sex with his wife he is supposed to [have sex with her] regardless of what the circumstances [are]. I don?t see why he should be charged with raping his own wife, she is never supposed to say no," said Ms. Clarke.

    "If I were married and my husband wanted to have sex with me I wouldn?t stop him, [because] I?m not supposed to, even if I was tired or feeling sick, I wouldn?t tell him no."

    However, there are many men and women, who support the government?s decision to change the law and said that no one should be forced to have sex against their will.

    Nona Smith explained why she supports the amendment.

    "I think the bill is a very good thing because I believe that a husband can rape his wife. No is no. I don?t care if you?re married or if you?re not married. No is no, and once you force yourself on someone, whoever it is, it is rape. I agree with the bill 100 percent," she said.

    Sergio Burrows and Dr. Rudolph King agree.

    "Rape is rape, you can?t change that. If someone says they?re not ready or willing to have sex and you force them to, that is rape. Even in a marriage, forcing a person to have sex is still rape," said Mr. Burrows.

    Mr. King said "No means no?even in a marriage. If I don?t feel like having sex today and you force me to have sex then it?s rape. Although I might be married to you, it is still my body."

    Mr. Burrows and Dr. King said they have no problem going against the norm and disagreeing with the majority of men who find the bill unnecessary.

    They said if a man is not raping his wife, then he should not be threatened by a law that protects women from being raped by their husbands.

    State Minister for Social Development Loretta Butler-Turner said that over the summer months, the government would host a number of consultative meetings to better inform the public on exactly what the amendment entails.


    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #5 - August 20, 2009, 01:12 AM

    Well at least the Bahamas government want to outlaw it, which is a vast difference from the attitude in Bahrain.

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #6 - August 20, 2009, 01:19 AM

    Well at least the Bahamas government want to outlaw it, which is a vast difference from the attitude in Bahrain.


    Yup. Or afghanistan, where karzai signed into law an "amended" bill that legalizes spousal rape, among other things.

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #7 - August 20, 2009, 01:20 AM

    Gotta love Karzai. Man's a champion of freedom and democracy. That's why we have to back him up.  Afro

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #8 - August 20, 2009, 05:19 PM

    What?



    I've heard that there is something of a breast milk fetish in Arab countries...

    Maliki yawm ul LULZ
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #9 - August 20, 2009, 09:28 PM

    Gotta love Karzai. Man's a champion of freedom and democracy. That's why we have to back him up.  Afro

    What is different between karzai and the taliban, they all share the same koran and come from the same culture, no? The difference might be in the degree of education between karzai and baitulah (rest in pieces), or the fact that Karzai is held accountable in front of the eyes of the world, while Zawahiri is hiding in the batcave. But at the end it is the same book and the culture is still too close to the core islamic values.

    "Ask the slave girl; she will tell you the truth.' So the Apostle called Burayra to ask her. Ali got up and gave her a violent beating first, saying, 'Tell the Apostle the truth.'"
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #10 - August 28, 2009, 11:20 AM

    she lost part of her breast during a violent sexual encounter with her spouse......


    Huh?Huh?Huh?Huh?Huh?? That sick BASTARD.........He is not a Human Being........

    I feel worry for that women..... Cry


    Wives are instructed to never deny the sexual demands of their husbands, as disobedience is perceived as a violation of Islamic principles.

    MEN and WOMEN are equal.........

    A muslim women cant even allowed to deny the sexual demands of their husbands--ISLAM SUCKS....

    ? a sick rule in Islam....That proves women are not free.But still muslim womens say,Islam is the religion of peace.... Huh?

    ISLAM IS THE RELIGION OF PIECES.......
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #11 - September 15, 2009, 03:36 PM

    ye  i know what you are feeling but from my understanding at least I thought if the woman is not feeling right or has a 'valid' excuse then she has the right to refuse her husbands permission for sex. Oh well...

    "The ideal tyranny is that which is ignorantly self-administered by its victims. The most perfect slaves are, therefore, those which blissfully and unawaredly enslave themselves."
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #12 - September 15, 2009, 03:40 PM

    You shouldn't need a 'valid' excuse. Not being in the mood should be good enough. It is perfectly normal for couple to refuse each other sex now and then.
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #13 - September 15, 2009, 03:45 PM

    ye i agree - if one of the partners is not in the mood then ok fair enough but don't u think when women use sex against their husbands that is unfair?
    btw im totally against a husband forcing his wife into sex that is inexcusable but im just saying when one or the other uses sex as a weapon it can be detrimental to a relationship but i agree that is no excuse 2 rape.

    "The ideal tyranny is that which is ignorantly self-administered by its victims. The most perfect slaves are, therefore, those which blissfully and unawaredly enslave themselves."
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #14 - September 15, 2009, 03:53 PM

    ye i agree - if one of the partners is not in the mood then ok fair enough but don't u think when women use sex against their husbands that is unfair?
    btw im totally against a husband forcing his wife into sex that is inexcusable but im just saying when one or the other uses sex as a weapon it can be detrimental to a relationship but i agree that is no excuse 2 rape.


    How many men use sex as a weapon against women? What do you think the proportions are? If a couple uses sex as a weapon against each other, it's not time for RAPE! It's time for marital counseling therapy.

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #15 - September 15, 2009, 03:54 PM

    Of course that's wrong. I didn't advocate using sex as a weapon :\ Sex should be viewed as a loving, intimate (and consentual) act that brings a couple together. Islam allows a man to use sex as a weapon in verse 4:34, and refuses the wife the choice to say no. This does anything but bring a couple together. It's no wonder a study found those living in cultures where men dominate have less satisfying sex lives then those living in equal societies.
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #16 - September 15, 2009, 03:57 PM

    Of course that's wrong. I didn't advocate using sex as a weapon :\ Sex should be viewed as a loving, intimate (and consentual) act that brings a couple together. Islam allows a man to use sex as a weapon in verse 4:34, and refuses the wife the choice to say no. This does anything but bring a couple together. It's no wonder a study found those living in cultures where men dominate have less satisfying sex lives then those living in equal societies.

    Lol sorry if i gave them impression that i thought u were advocating sex as a weapon because i wasn't. i just ask questions to understand a person's position on a certian matter more thoroughly that's all. So no offense if I did offend you.

    "The ideal tyranny is that which is ignorantly self-administered by its victims. The most perfect slaves are, therefore, those which blissfully and unawaredly enslave themselves."
  • Re: Spousal Rape
     Reply #17 - September 15, 2009, 08:15 PM

    You didn't offend me. I don't get offended easily Wink
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