How I let everything else control me instead of stepping up and taking responsibility for my own choices and actions, saying fuck the way my body tries to control me, or events, or public transport… Forever at the mercy of the ill winds of fate, and here I sit in a Pazuzu t–shirt, the Mesopotamian Storm Demon. How pathetic…
I’d written something about this down in one of my more lucid moments, but it was on a scrap of paper. I can’t seem to find it now.
EDIT: Ah, found it —
People Whose Lives Stagnate
I lack the desire to combat my fears. Thus I wallow in my miserable, excremental self–pity and timidity, lacking the volition to ever make a move. My will is paralysed. I am spiritually impotent and live my life at the behest of all greater wills and forces.