I'm the same Berbs. I got incredibly distressed from reading the news, especially cases involving rape. It's why I avoid the news these days. I still think about them though, and have to push the thoughts away. It's an ugly world we live in.
At least when we die, we stop feeling pain. That's the only thought that keeps me going.
Same as

Think not a day goes by in which I'm not thinking about how to end it or fighting those feelings. Since that ignorance of youth is well and truly over.