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Theme Changer

 Topic: Math Joke (s)

 (Read 26357 times)
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  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #60 - September 19, 2012, 01:30 PM
    Quote from: serrated_colon on February 13, 2011, 12:24 PM
    There's a big calculus party, and all the functions are invited. ln(x) is talking to some trig functions, when he sees his friend ex sulking in a corner.
    ln(x): "What's wrong ex?"
    ex: "I'm so lonely!"
    ln(x): "Well, you should go integrate yourself into the crowd!"
    ex looks up and cries, "It won't make a difference!"

    (Clicky for piccy!)

     Cheesy
    Started from the bottom, now I'm here
    Started from the bottom, now my whole extended family's here

    JOIN THE CHAT
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #61 - September 19, 2012, 05:04 PM
    Had some good laughs reading this thread.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #62 - September 19, 2012, 07:50 PM
    Quote from: Kenan on February 13, 2011, 11:54 AM
    One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
    The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
    The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..." and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
    The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said "I declare myself to be on the outside."

    I especially like this one  Cheesy
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #63 - September 19, 2012, 08:04 PM
    Joke too complicated, penis stuck in brain.
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #64 - September 19, 2012, 08:32 PM
    ^
    Imagine a small circle around a plot of land on the earth.  It's true that it is more efficient than a square/rectangle/triangle etc.  (This was the engineer's idea.)
    Imagine a very large circle around the earth like the equator.  (This was the physicist's idea.)
    Now imagine continuing to push the circle around the earth such that it is actually getting smaller on one side but larger on the other. The mathematician cheekily said his area is the larger part as you continue to push this circle around the earth till it gets tiny.
     parrot
    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #65 - September 19, 2012, 08:38 PM
    I was actually referring to this one.

    Quote from: serrated_colon on February 13, 2011, 12:24 PM
    There's a big calculus party, and all the functions are invited. ln(x) is talking to some trig functions, when he sees his friend ex sulking in a corner.
    ln(x): "What's wrong ex?"
    ex: "I'm so lonely!"
    ln(x): "Well, you should go integrate yourself into the crowd!"
    ex looks up and cries, "It won't make a difference!"

    (Clicky for piccy!)





    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #66 - September 19, 2012, 08:50 PM
    The integral of e(x) is e(x) itself, therefore it won't make any difference if ex integrates. GEDDIT?
    Started from the bottom, now I'm here
    Started from the bottom, now my whole extended family's here

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  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #67 - September 19, 2012, 08:57 PM
    wut?

    Quote from: Jema on September 19, 2012, 08:50 PM
    The integral of e(x) is e(x) itself, therefore it won't make any difference if ex integrates. GEDDIT?

    I bolded the parts I don't understand. Tongue
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #68 - September 19, 2012, 09:09 PM
    It's a play on words that relies on the ambiguity of the word 'integrate', which can mean either mixing/unifying/incorporating or a mathematical concept used in calculus. You only need to know that in calculus if you integrate e(x) it gives you e(x) itself. So it can't be integrated into anything different. e(x) is e(x) after integration.  What makes it funny is that e(x) is personified and it thinks that mingling with the crowd won't affect the loneliness it feels. Therefore e(x) cannot mingle with the crowd or 'integrate' because it won't make a difference. Aaaaaand I just single handedly killed that joke. GEDDIT NAO?
    Started from the bottom, now I'm here
    Started from the bottom, now my whole extended family's here

    JOIN THE CHAT
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #69 - September 19, 2012, 09:25 PM
    Not...really?

    Wishing I could grasp basic math though. :/
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #70 - September 20, 2012, 04:40 AM
    Not familiar with Calculus? I presume.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #71 - September 20, 2012, 11:22 AM
    Nope.
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #72 - September 30, 2012, 12:00 AM
    Couldn't resist sharing this:  Cheesy

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #73 - September 30, 2012, 12:29 AM
    I remember learning those in my trig class last winter. Omg it killed me. >.<
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #74 - September 30, 2012, 03:18 AM
    Seeing as I have Business Statistics this semester 

    Quote
    Statistics are like whores, play with them long enough and they'll do anything for you

     

    Solara u in highschool or uni?

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #75 - September 30, 2012, 04:45 AM
    uni
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #76 - September 30, 2012, 12:38 PM
    Quote from: Cheetah on February 11, 2011, 06:30 PM
    I've always liked this one...

    (Clicky for piccy!)


    Classic Tongue
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #77 - September 30, 2012, 04:22 PM
    Here's a couple of funny ones


    The chef instructs his apprentice: "You take two thirds of water, one third of cream, one third of broth..."
    The apprentice: "But that makes four thirds already!"
    "Well - just take a larger pot!"
    -----------------------------------------------------------------


    A mathematician is flying non-stop from Edmonton to Frankfurt with AirTransat. The scheduled flying time is nine hours.
    Some time after taking off, the pilot announces that one engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "Don't worry - we're safe. The only noticeable effect this will have for us is that our total flying time will be ten hours instead of nine."
    A few hours into the flight, the pilot informs the passengers that another engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "But don't worry - we're still safe. Only our flying time will go up to twelve hours."
    Some time later, a third engine fails and has to be turned off. But the pilot reassures the passengers: "Don't worry - even with one engine, we're still perfectly safe. It just means that it will take sixteen hours total for this plane to arrive in Frankfurt."
    The mathematician remarks to his fellow passengers: "If the last engine breaks down, too, then we'll be in the air for twenty-four hours altogether!"
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #78 - October 03, 2012, 04:41 PM
    Quote from: ateapotist on September 30, 2012, 12:00 AM
    Couldn't resist sharing this:  Cheesy

    (Clicky for piccy!)

    Very good. grin12
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #79 - October 27, 2012, 11:14 PM
    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #80 - October 27, 2012, 11:20 PM
    I get that one! dance

    It's not simplified though. Tongue


    >> [-(√-shit)^2]
    >> [-(-shit)]
    >> shit
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #81 - October 27, 2012, 11:55 PM
     graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the
    university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
    “Where did you get the bike from?” his friends want to know.”It’s a
    `thank you’ present”, he explains, “from that freshman girl I’ve been
    tutoring. But the story is kind of weird…” “Tell us!” “Well”, he
    starts, “yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she
    had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in
    person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when
    I had
    let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed,
    smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!’”
    One of his friends remarks: “You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle.”

    “Yeah”, another friend adds, “just imagine how silly you would
    have looked in girls clothes – and they wouldn’t have fit you anyway!”
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #82 - October 28, 2012, 12:50 AM
    Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #83 - October 28, 2012, 12:57 AM
     
    Quote from: TheDarkRebel on October 27, 2012, 11:55 PM
    graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the
    university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
    “Where did you get the bike from?” his friends want to know.”It’s a
    `thank you’ present”, he explains, “from that freshman girl I’ve been
    tutoring. But the story is kind of weird…” “Tell us!” “Well”, he
    starts, “yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she
    had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in
    person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when
    I had
    let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed,
    smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!’”
    One of his friends remarks: “You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle.”

    “Yeah”, another friend adds, “just imagine how silly you would
    have looked in girls clothes – and they wouldn’t have fit you anyway!”


     

    Cheesy
    damn can't argue, there's meth in it
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #84 - October 28, 2012, 04:51 AM
    Quote from: ateapotist on October 27, 2012, 11:14 PM
    (Clicky for piccy!)

    If you want to be all mathy about it, you don't need the outer parentheses or the minus sign inside them. A negative number is still a real number in mathematical terms. Maths joke fail, n00bz. Tongue
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #85 - October 28, 2012, 05:18 PM
    Okay smartypants. I realise that. bunny
    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #86 - October 28, 2012, 05:26 PM
    Why was 6 afraid of 7......................






    cause 7 8 9. 
    Join us on chat. Click here.
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #87 - October 28, 2012, 05:35 PM
    Quote from: osmanthus on October 28, 2012, 04:51 AM
    If you want to be all mathy about it, you don't need the outer parentheses or the minus sign inside them. A negative number is still a real number in mathematical terms. Maths joke fail, n00bz. Tongue

    Not imaginary numbers. That's why they're called imaginary. Tongue
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #88 - October 28, 2012, 07:22 PM
    Keep digging. grin12
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Math Joke (s)
     Reply #89 - October 28, 2012, 09:30 PM
    ur wrong and thats bad and u shuld feel bad. n00bz. aloofandbored0
    Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

    Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
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