My social anxiety issues
I'm excrutiatingly shy and awkward (yeah I know, I don't present that way, but I put on a good front online lol) I get panic attacks if I become to stressed out by either the amount of people, or my crappy cognitive process the way it is set now.
I really really really want to go, but I have trouble leaving my house just to go to the shop somedays. Usually in new and stressful situations my friend comes with me to help me feel safer and calm my fears as and when they arrive but she's working tomorrow plus this isn;t her cup of tea.
tried speeching my sister to come with me, but it's an international conference challenging islam and she doesn't want to go down that road.
So it's about plucking up the courage to face the new.
I honestly never used to be this way and couldn't bear the thought of being stuck indoors when there was so much out there in the real world to do, but I'm just not the same person after my marriage, I try really hard but I'm afraid.
So right now I am stressing, hence why I'm still awake because I am trying to convince myself that i can handle this.