I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?

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- Omaar Khayaam
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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #30 - September 01, 2009, 03:35 PM

Quote from: aliadiere on September 01, 2009, 01:46 PM
I know what you mean. In my postal code, there are 9 masjids, a Salafi bookstore, an Islamic Propagation Centre bookstore, and another Islamic bookstore. There are two salafis who stand on the main road selling "Islamic Perfumes". There are 3 "Islamic" clothing shops. I can't really be open about religion in a place like that.

Now that really is more than anyone can take!
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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #31 - September 01, 2009, 04:05 PM

Quote from: 20yearstoolong on September 01, 2009, 03:05 PM
Yep, it's called "Attar". Men generally wear it before going to the masjid.

I thought that smell in the masjid was of sweaty feet? Went I used to bend down onto the floor for sijda, I always took a deep breath just before so I did not have to get a whiff of the carpet

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- Omaar Khayaam
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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #32 - September 01, 2009, 04:11 PM

Quote from: IsLame on September 01, 2009, 04:05 PM
I thought that smell in the masjid was of sweaty feet? Went I used to bend down onto the floor for sijda, I always took a deep breath just before so I did not have to get a whiff of the carpet

Yep they have to lather themselves up in the attar to try and overpower the disgusting smell in the masjid. I suppose it doesn't work as expected. On a similar note, I remember going to pray tarawih a few years ago and on one occasion some disgusting garden gnome lookalike burped in my face when we did salam!
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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #33 - September 01, 2009, 04:52 PM

Quote from: 20yearstoolong on September 01, 2009, 04:11 PM
I remember going to pray tarawih a few years ago and on one occasion some disgusting garden gnome lookalike burped in my face when we did salam!

That reminds me of someone telling me that he once went to the masjid and when he was standing up from sijdah his head got caught in the Arab person in front's gown. When he stood up from rukhoo he found he was looking at the mans bare buttocks.

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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #34 - September 01, 2009, 04:57 PM

Maybe that was the answer to his prayer.

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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #35 - September 01, 2009, 04:58 PM

Quote
That reminds me of someone telling me that he once went to the masjid and when he was standing up from sijdah his head got caught in the Arab person in front's gown. When he stood up from rukhoo he found he was looking at the mans bare buttocks.

...
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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #36 - September 01, 2009, 05:15 PM

Quote from: Cheetah on September 01, 2009, 04:57 PM

Maybe that was the answer to his prayer.

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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #37 - September 01, 2009, 06:26 PM

He was a new convert - he only told me to prove the point that Arab men dont wear underpants

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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #38 - December 23, 2009, 05:23 AM

Dear RIBS,

First of all, congratulations on your apostasy. Even if you remain for the rest of your life a closeted atheist it's still better than being a guilt-soaked deluded Muslim . I'm sure that you will find peace within yourself.

I took interest in your topic because I, like yourself, am a an Arab Muslim-born atheist. I was born in Iraq and lived most of my life there but I also have lived for sometime in Egypt.
My advise to you would be to try as hard as you can to emigrate to a Western country. I'm aware that the process is quite unfeasible, expensive, and can simply take the best out of you. I'm also aware that you might love your country despite its social norms and that you might be too well-established to risk it all. In fact, I'm afraid I'm stepping out of line here. However, I would argue that it's the ideal solution for your dilemma.

But now that you're there, I urge you not to tell your children. Like you said, they're too young to understand. Plus, it's too risky. Being kids, they might very well just inadvertently tell their friends who, in turn, might tell their parents. Then, only terrible consequences would ensue. Not only your children will feel different they will simply be social outcasts. The self-righteous parents will accuse you of satanism, decadence, and polluting children's minds.

At the same time, there are lots of things you can do to "ease them into" atheism. Tolerance, open-mindedness, and religious moderation should be cornerstones in their upbringing. Try to get them interested in music maybe. Avoid religious friends and families. By doing so you can at least make sure they don't grow up to be religious nutters !!

Hope everything goes well.

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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #39 - December 23, 2009, 07:52 AM

Quote from: IsLame on September 01, 2009, 04:52 PM

That reminds me of someone telling me that he once went to the masjid and when he was standing up from sijdah his head got caught in the Arab person in front's gown. When he stood up from rukhoo he found he was looking at the mans bare buttocks.

ROTFL ewwww. We should start collecting all these muslim stories and send them to SNL.

@Ribs
I think you should wait I dont have children but as a kid I was very trustworthy, my parents could tell me things and I wouldnt tell them to others. But the thing is that one secret is possible to keep, but this is a whole mentality. And kids wish to adapt so its going to be a double-life for them, and they are so young. Surely they will understand in the future? If you decide not to tell them? You can slowly start raising them to be objective and rational? And not super religious? Or maybe move to the west? So they can grow up in a secular environment? But then you will have issues with moving, from family and friends, and having to find a job, a place to stay, dealing with the goverment and papers and so on. Not sure, quite a dilemma you have :S
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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #40 - December 23, 2009, 09:07 AM

Many thanks to you Guys... As you said, it is very difficult for me to move at the time. Besides, apart from religion, I have no objections about living in my country. I have a nice job and I am comfy and live nice. Besides, I can save enough to take my kids every summit to visit a western country. If they decide later when they grow up to move, I wouldn't mind at all.

Mind you, it is not the goverment that is very religious, strange enough, it is the people who all of a sudden decided to grow beards, and wear not only Hijab, but also the freaking Burqa. This happened only in the late 90s....

The other day, a lady in Bourqa decided to tease and play with my 7 month baby while waiting in a cashier que in a supermarket, and I never heard a baby cries that loud before. I was so angry, and shouted at her and told her that she shouldn't peek-a-poo to a baby when she is wearing a black Mask! What was she thinking?

...
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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #41 - December 23, 2009, 09:24 AM

I had a friend who's dog would go crazy around ladies dressed in burqas. All dressed in black, I guess he just freaked out lol
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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #42 - December 23, 2009, 09:55 AM

Quote from: aliadiere on September 01, 2009, 01:46 PM
I know what you mean. In my postal code, there are 9 masjids, a Salafi bookstore, an Islamic Propagation Centre bookstore, and another Islamic bookstore. There are two salafis who stand on the main road selling "Islamic Perfumes". There are 3 "Islamic" clothing shops. I can't really be open about religion in a place like that.

Must be like East and West Berlin, only the wall is not physical.

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Re: I'm an apostate, how do I tell my children?
Reply #43 - December 25, 2009, 04:59 PM

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Parenting-Beyond-Belief-Raising-Religion/dp/0814474268/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261760149&sr=8-1
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Raising-Freethinkers-Practical-Parenting-Beyond/dp/0814410960/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261760149&sr=8-2

I haven't read them myself as I am a bit far from having to worry about raising children, but thought these 2 books are worth mentioning in a thread like this.

"In every time and culture there are pressures to conform to the prevailing prejudices. But there are also, in every place and epoch, those who value the truth; who record the evidence faithfully. Future generations are in their debt." -Carl Sagan
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