First off, the false doctrine that ALL verses are for all time was invented by Muslims.
Ok so who decides which verses are applicable today and which aren't? I thought you said you don't really listen to scholars..
Now, this verse was revealed for a specific case back then. Arabs, of course, were in the habit of beating the hell out of their wives. At one occasion, one of women complained to the prophet and he immediately exclaimed: "the worst of you (men) are the worst towards their wives and the best are the best towards their wives"... Meaning? No beating whatsoever... Of course, the women, after years of opression, started abusing their husbands in revenge, knowing that they could not beat them. So, now the men went to the prophet complaining about the treatment they get from their wives.
How exactly did they start abusing their husbands? If women bug their husbands, they should get a beating?
So the verse was revealed... which really meant: you can't hit your wives unless they're really causing you trouble that even after going through the self-punishing process of abstaining from sex with them, they're still causing trouble only then you can hit them.
WHAT kind of trouble is a woman causing thats allowing a man to beat her?
OF COURSE, hitting wives is unacceptable under any circumstances even after a self-punishing waiting period (abstaining from sex).. but this was for that case ONLY.... things have already gotten out of hand... note how the wives were damaged enough because of past maltreatment that they felt like exacting revenge on their husbands... the whole situation was hopeless and that solution was for that specific case.
Please describe what you mean by "things getting out of hands". Give me a valid reason when the beating mentioned in 4:34 is applicable.