The one thing I hate Islam most for is my sexual guilt.
I being the horny muslim teenager that I am used to masturbate but then tried to stop completely after finding out out it was haram.
I used to repent, stop for a few days, maturate again then feel really guilty and repent again. The vicious cycle repeated itself so many times.

I maturbate less now than I did as a muslim. Still watch porn occasionally but not as much as when i was a muslim. It's like the more you try to suppress your sexuality the more obsessed you become about it.
But once you realize that it's natural you become normal again.
As a sidenote. I am 18 and still haven't even kissed a girl because I am so fuckin nervous when talking to them for some reason.
There were a few times where a girl would make it really clear that she liked me but I managed to get nervous and fuck it up.
Still trying to overcome but stupid fuckin anxiety......
I know exactly how you feel, growing up, I was not allowed to talk to girls, my parents actually forbade me and my brothers from talking to girls in school (and it sits in your mind) for religious reason. It took me a long long time to get over that and come away from that mentality.
I dont know if anyone else has had this, but now I'm finding my sexual fantasies mixing in Islamic elements of blasphemy and things that used to be sacred. Like this delightful example from Al-Alethia
I've actually had to seriously resist the urge to masturbate while fasting quite a few times, and I actually broke it that way one day last Ramadan. I felt sooo guilty. Like holy fuck, does the freeing slaves/fasting 60 days thing apply for masturbation or just sex?
Gosh, that still feels like a really dirty thing for a girl to admit to
hehehe
I did that last Ramadan too, the first time felt very guilty but there was just a glimmer of perverse lust, and I did it again a week later, much less guilt, much more lust!
Pity we didn't do Iftaar together
