Hi everyone,
I hope I'm doing this correctly. The last time I used a forum I was about 11.
For starters, I'm an ex-Muslim. It's been about 4 years. Some of the best and worst times of my life but I'm no longer Muslim.
I look back now and realize everything has been a huge problem of identity for me. Growing up, I think I got sick of having everyone push me around telling me what a girl should and shouldn't be - in and out of Islam. I grew up with brothers. Whatever I said or may done, I was told it was "unbecoming" for a "little lady" or that I shouldn't mingle with boys, even as a child.
It was odd. I was discouraged from being "Canadian" nor could I be fully Afghan as my parents wanted me to be. I thought everything they wanted was unfair. I had an odd childhood that consisted of arbitrary standards. I asked "Why?" They said, "because Afghans don't do x, y, and z. Also, Islam tells you to respect your parents. What if you make God angry? He will punish you. You'll go to hell where your skin will continuously burn off, grow back, all for the pleasure of shaitan." I'm sure you'd all agree, this is great parenting. Essentially, my parents, frustrated at the state of their lives (having left a country they were once very comfortable), boiled down my life to 3 things: "Wash dishes, make tea, and help your mother clean. If you don't, you are then not only a terrible daughter, but an improper Muslim."
I always feel out of place, both as a Canadian, a person of Persian descent, and now as an ex-Mus. When I was in high school, I gave up trying to be myself and started using the religion to make myself feel better -- ie. judge others as I have been judged. Well, I shipped myself off to university - everyone actively discouraged me -- and one day, as I was praying, I realized, I'm talking to myself. Cue agnosticism. I'm now an atheist.
I've been active at reddit for over a year, working with others at r/exmuslim. I don't know how stringent you guys are about disclosing details, so, I'll refrain from mentioning my username.
I'm based in and out of Toronto. I'm neither here nor there. I'm sort of everywhere. I've had the distinct pleasure of meeting a couple of people from this lovely forum, so, I thought, why not. I also want to take initiative and build a relationship between r/exmuslim and the CEMB.
Thanks for reading. I hope to keep up with you guys.
- ears_to_here
http://exmuslim.reddit.com/https://twitter.com/RedditExMuslims