I considered myself Sunni with a Sufi undertone. I married a mureed of Nuh Ha Mim Keller at 25, but asked for a divorce just a few months later for various reasons, but the biggest two were that he was impotent and that he was a huge hypocrite (love anal porn flicks and chatting with girls on dating sites).
Just based on my own experiences, this is very common or common enough. A lot of people are doing a lot of shit behind closed doors that they condemn in public. I have witnessed so much abuse & hypocrisy, most of it sexual in nature. The thing is, I don't think there is anything really inherently wrong with a lot of these things per se, but it's that Islam is so against it that it encourages secrecy and hiding things. Which is fine until you start running your mouth off in public about the thing that you love in private. Like Ted Haggard. We have a lot of Ted Haggards... a lot of gay men and women, a lot of people into porn and other sexual stuff, a lot of people who are into a lot of 'haraam' things that even something normal becomes a 'thing'. Like this big Salafee dayee from back in the day who would rant and rail about unrelated women and free mixing and dogs and all that and he kept three dogs in his house and had unrelated women up at the house with him and his wife all the time.
I have to disclose that I don't hate Islam - I just think it's not for me. I felt like I was living in the past...even more so whilst I was married. I don't feel that my predecessors fought and died for me to be treated like a child or an inferior. I don't have any logical reasons for leaving Islam (dislike of Muhammad, shariah, etc.). I just don't believe the faith is any more special than the others out there - so why give it all my attention?
I don't hate Islam per se - such as the five pillars or the six articles, but I hate the Shariah and I hate the effect Islam has on people and society. However, this is not why I quit the deen. I quit because I simply did not believe in Big Al and his friend Mo anymore. It was after I stopped drinking the magic potion that I began to see how detestable and backwards a lot of things I'd been taught and lived were.
I don't believe Islam or any other religion is deserving of respect or reverence just because someone calls it a spiritual belief. Bring on the cartoons and the jokes is what I say. I mean, some of the beliefs are really ridiculous and worthy of laughter - like the giant celestial mountain goats (hey, it's a hadith!). Because Islam and Muslims have been so forceful and adamant about silencing not only mockery but questioning, dissent, disagreement and criticism of Islam, I think it does deserve some special treatment. However, I think people are deserving of some basic respect, and then earn or lose it with their behaviour. I have Muslim family & friends that I care about.
Anyway, welcome. This is a nice place for ex Muslims to talk.