Masturbating. Not the act itself, just the process involved for me.
Brother asleep down stairs, kids asleep next door, walls so thin I can hear the dog snoring from downstairs. and the stupid bunny ears are pretty loud, or I think pretty loud, or I am way too paranoid.
Can't turn on the music to drown out that sound because then I can't hear anyone on the stairs, or moving.
Sigh. Life is comp......li....ca.........ted.

Yeah, you're way too paranoid. I don't think I've ever been caught once and I breath pretty heavily/rhythmically when I spank the monkey. The secret is in being a great straight faced liar. If they ask what you're doing, lie. If they say they heard you moaning, claim you were sobbing through your now dried tears. If they could hear some sounds through your headphones claim it is of an important intellectual discussion. No one has ever doubted any of my such lies.