let down by my own
OP - September 09, 2010, 09:59 AM
Hi Everyone,
I am a new member here. My name is A.M i am aged 30,female. I just want to share with you my own story of how i came to be an ex.
Igrew up in a highly practising family, we enjoyed the islamic festivals together, went to the mosque together, i really had a lot of fun growing up. I loved ramadhan especially, we cooked,laughted,listen to islamic kaswidas my life was just musically holy. I never questioned,never asked, afterall islam was part of our culture and the culture made us. I later grew up,went for studies and i met someone who i wanted to get married to. This is where my new life started. My family were not very pleased at all, my choosen partner wasnt a muslim nor a christian, he wasnt my skin type either ( he was european) he was also a non believer. I liked him alot, he was well educated and worked many years in islamic countries with his embassy, he never imposed his religious views,his culture,his habits. He just accepted me the way i was, mind you i was a muslim. We lived apart since we were not married, and couldnt be married because my 'issues'. We just dated; while dating, he understood where i came from, never asked me to sleep with him, never asked me to drink alcohol, he really respected me. I still behaved like a muslim, prayed,fasted etc.
While going for dinner one time, my husband to be, proposed, i was exited and said yes, i gave him my condition that he must convert for my family to accept him, he politely declined, he said he loves me but would not convert to something he did not understand, he said if i can prove to him that God existed then he would. I challenged him to anumber of things,when i failed, i consulted a sheikh ; he encouraged me to win him over and that if he refuses to accept then i should not marry him, 'marrying a non muslim will make me an outcast' i will be the same as him -a non believer.
The issue really stressed me, i was stuck, i did not want to be a non believer, i did not want to be an outcast in my own community, i also did not want to be without my guy, he accepted me for who i was. why couldnt i do the same? after much thought and consulting my uncle who has been married to a non believing wife, he simply said ' do what makes sense to you' .
Topic: let down by my own