The Homer Simpson Thread

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- belladonnasix
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The Homer Simpson Thread
OP - November 10, 2010, 08:00 AM

Few fictional characters are so religiously referred to in times of joy and misery... here's to remember some famous and hilarious words by our favourite yellow fat guy

please add to the list if you can!

"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs."

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."

"Marge, don't discourage the boy ! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ! Except the weasel."

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."

"To alcohol ! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems

"I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, 'cover for me.' Number two, 'oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'it was like that when I got here.' "

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose : it's how drunk you get." "

"Lisa, if life’s rich history and pageant has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot-oil wrestling and foxy-boxing and such like."

"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

"AWWW! I have three kids and no money! Why can't I have three money and no kids?!"

"AWW.. Nothing is ever boobs or ice cream..."

Quod est inferius est sicut quod est superius,
et quod est superius est sicut quod est inferius,
ad perpetranda miracula rei unius.
- belladonnasix
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Re: The Homer Simpson Thread
Reply #1 - November 10, 2010, 08:07 AM

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Quod est inferius est sicut quod est superius,
et quod est superius est sicut quod est inferius,
ad perpetranda miracula rei unius.
- Ishina
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Re: The Homer Simpson Thread
Reply #2 - November 10, 2010, 08:24 AM

BIG UP TO ALL MY HOMERS

Fo' REEE...uhllll

Too fucking busy, and vice versa.
- zoomi
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Re: The Homer Simpson Thread
Reply #3 - November 11, 2010, 04:50 AM

Simpsons quotes, WooHoo!

Homer: "Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: That is because you were drunk
Homer: And how

Homer:That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
Bart: I don't think any of us expected him to say that...
- canex
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Re: The Homer Simpson Thread
Reply #4 - November 11, 2010, 06:57 AM

Suppose we’ve chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we’re just making him madder and madder. – Homer

One of my favs!!

Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. - Voltaire
- MoeAlharbi
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Re: The Homer Simpson Thread
Reply #5 - November 11, 2010, 07:05 AM

just for the lulz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j5dj2tCuvQ

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
Can't it be, can't it be mine

https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
- Colonel Q-Daffi
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Re: The Homer Simpson Thread
Reply #6 - November 11, 2010, 03:55 PM

My favorite Simpsons quote is from Moe Syzlak: "Homer, you gotta help me-- I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of. And the things I am proud of, are pretty disgusting"

fuck you
- razi3l-0
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Re: The Homer Simpson Thread
Reply #7 - November 11, 2010, 04:17 PM

But I'm not a missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus... save me Jebus!

that's my all time favorite
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