he punished me by not allowing me to submit this topic earlier
yep over an hour spent on writing my story but failed to submit it, im sure it was God!
anyway ill type down my story later, about me, im a 30 year old male from "Bahrain", seeing sectarian hatred fuelled by religion do its damage in the country along with my personal experience into hardcore islam and three years after feeling things were not right and gradually loosing faith to this day......today on CEMB i am happy to say
I QUIT
how yall doin?
born into a shia sect of islam, parents were never hardcore or extremists,movies, music, playing and talking with the opposite sex was permissable even upto highschool.apart from maintaining our prayers there was little else we were forced to practice. thoughbeing a shia me and my younger brother accompanied dad for the processions that took place during the month of muharam.
so here were me and my brother, sitting in a matam with a bearded man in a turban screaming and crying out lout for the martyrdom of someone ( i cant remember whom,
as many had been killed!) but the question i always asked myself even when i was 12 years old was, if we muslims believe that a martyr or a shaheed who has died in the cause of islam is not actually dead but in heaven along with god, along with the 70 hotties they are promised, then that is not a bad thing, yes? and if you so deeply believe that they are granted all the goodies of heaven you shouldnt be sad yes? so why all the crying? even now at 30 i do not understand that. I would also like to pint out that at some point between the age of 12 to 16 i kinda lost faith momentarily.
when i was in sixth grade i befriended a chap at school, and we became good buddies,
till i graduated from highchool and went abroad for a higher education. a year later when
i returned home for the holidays i see my friend in a beard, it seems at some point after
schooling he mixed up with them hardcore islamists, he wouldnt watch a movie, not even some wrestling as you may all know those WWE divas are scantily dressed! even going to the malls was a no as all the purty girls drenched in perfume pose a threat to him, thats not all, after having no where to go and nothing to do we cruised around in my car but even playing music in my car would discomfort him....things were getting bumpy.
i had to drop him to a mosque and wait for him to finish his prayers and we would continue cruising around but that wasnt enough as he loved to attend the after prayer lectures which in my opinion the biggest poison affecting the islamic world, these lectures destroy homes and society spreading nothing, repeat...nothing but hate. it was sad because it took its toll on me.
pretty soon i was bearded
all pumped up about how my new sect (i converted to sunni) was the allmighty righteous way of life that cannot be negotiated nor changed in anyway. i started being very judgemental to wards people, i almost accepted an arranged
marriage to one of those "niqab" wearing females (whew, glad i did not) and it feels so bad now that i think of it to have even judged my family, for my sisters are not abaya wearing females and trying not to be a "dayooth", a dayooth being one who has no jealousy of his women and does not get to sniff of heaven or something of the sort.
i caused my family nothing but a headache for a little while objecting to almost everything around me, even a few heated arguments with dad over a lecture by a shia mulla on tv. this is when i felt things turning bad. now i ask myself was faith ever worth coming between you and a loved one?
i remeber returning back to bahrain after graduating from college, i was busy looking for a job and in the process had to cut back seeing my hardcore islamic friend, as i got a job i was happy that what i earned helped me practice my hobby which took more of my time and gradually i stopped seeing him.
believe it or not, the moment i stopped seeeing him and shaved off my beard and trying my level best to get all the poison i heard outta my mind i actually started feeling
better but at the same time this was a period of intense confusion and depression as i felt a lost soul, faith having hels such a large part of ones life and suddenly letting go
out off dissapointment, dissapointment like that one would feel at the discovery of a cheating spouse!
ever since i gradually reduced the amount of times i pray upto a point where i dodnt thing i have prayed since the begening of the yeari am married with a two year old girl and ata point my wife would be pissed off that i do not pray but i asked her to stop bothering me and with time
it seems she has given up asking me to pray, if she feels like she jokes about it...but sorry honey i aint praying no more.
everyone has their reasons for loosing faith, perhaps one of the most important reasons i hatedislam is the ugly,stinking sectarian hatred that is fuelled by the religion itself, it disgusts me, people of the sunni sect hate the shiites and the shiites hate the sunnis because those
those preachers at the mosques and maatams cant stf up, but wait a minit they are not to blame, for if people wanted to change and stop hating it wouldntr matter what any mofo on a "minbar" preaches for we all
got brains tro think dont we? then do these people ever come to the conclusion that something is wrong?
my personal experience
my boss is a sunni woman who wears a niqab, she has shown us nothing but kindness even though we all are shia, that doesnt seem to workon my colleagues because even if she took a bullet for them she will never be good enough, courtesy of lectures and hatred spread by those preachers.
another day a real heated argument happened at work bcause of a difference in opinion as to what happened shortly after the death of the prophet!!
to sum it up a muslim will never acknowledge the good among its own sects let alone the good humanitarian work of a kafir....word
so to any muslim reading this, know that you will never ever sort out your problems.
Deep regrets in my heart to all those i hurt in the name of religion, for now i do not judge nor hate.
Topic: how Allah punished me