I won't deny that I haven't been tempted by the idea of non-existence, but then something, someone, some idea, some experience, some glimpse of a better future, comes along to inspire me and basically fuck it all up.
The world is a fucked up place sometimes but I'll never give up on it. The rest of the time its a beautiful place and I want to be here to experience it.
Yeah, we all experience that temptation sometimes. I think of the temptation as a sinking feeling. Sometimes it wants to swallow me. It's there, waiting, i just dont't let it sink me, though i know it could. I have been swallowed a few times, but the road goes ever on and we can't remain stuck.
Forgive my romantic thought, but ends are sometimes meaningless, its the journey that means something. Even struggle.
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
*what do i live for? The pursuit of happiness, fulfillment, freedom, and ultimately Love --there are many reasons and they vary based on my mood, where I am in life, what my prospects are.