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Theme Changer

 Topic: Personal Development -Resources.

 (Read 8159 times)
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Personal Development -Resources.
     OP - May 30, 2011, 07:20 PM

    I like to look at ways to improve myself in all aspects of my life, through out my life trying to find ways to be more confident, efficient, sociable, funnier...etc

    So I thought maybe it would be nice to have a thread here on cemb, for us to share ideas, knowledge, and links to websites that can help.

    Just then I was thinking, that I do find it hard to compartmentalize aspects of my life (the emotions/thoughts involved in each), family-life, career-life, love-life....Can't seem to find much out there on this though.

    Anyway, here's a two good ones I had saved on my fav re-discovered:

    For those of you studying, good for general purpose too:
    Study Guides and Strategies (It has advice on effective learning, motivation, concentration, time-management....etc):
    http://www.studygs.net/

    For Decision Making Confidence: (Lots to look through on this site....which I havn't actually looked through much myself heh)
    http://www.decision-making-confidence.com/

    "Decision-making-confidence.com is dedicated to studying the elements of a great decision making model. In particular, we will be considering how you already have this model available to you and how you can choose to run it easily and elegantly so that you make the choices that allow you live a life with purpose and passion, moving in a direction that's right for you, while saving you time, money and effort."

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #1 - May 30, 2011, 07:34 PM

    Lifehacker. Occasionally useful.
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #2 - May 30, 2011, 07:35 PM

    Now that I'm on new meds, I should try. DO these sites work?

    Is your grammar defective? Just askin'.


    "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi

  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #3 - May 30, 2011, 07:45 PM

    Hmm....I don't think the question is about do these sites work.....but whether you can make use of them. I think you have to try them and take what works for you, combine them with other things etc. Like I said I havn't actually properly used them, but I found that just by browsing, and focusing on 'better decision making skills' I felt more in control and just executed decisions and not swaying side-to-side or sitting in the middle <- again that's a personal thing. It'll be different for you.

    Now that I'm on new meds, I should try. DO these sites work?


    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #4 - May 30, 2011, 08:09 PM

    stardust, I found that just through life experience, in particular staying active, trying things out of my comfort zone, reading and socialising, helped my confidence increase alot, and gave me an all round 'life education' as it were, made me more outgoing and confident.


    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #5 - May 30, 2011, 09:14 PM

    ^^ Thats good stuff. Worked for me as well.

    I have read a book called "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." Its probably the most popular self help book ever. I have seen it used in organizational development, medical etc.

    Here is a link:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seven_Habits_of_Highly_Effective_People

    Here is a quick overview of the habits:
    * Habit 1: Be Proactive
    Synopsis: Take initiative in life by realizing that your decisions (and how they align with life's principles) are the primary determining factor for effectiveness in your life. Take responsibility for your choices and the subsequent consequences that follow.

    * Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
    Synopsis: Self-discover and clarify your deeply important character values and life goals. Envision the ideal characteristics for each of your various roles and relationships in life.

    * Habit 3: Put First Things First
    Synopsis: Plan, prioritize, and execute your week's tasks based on importance rather than urgency. Evaluating if your efforts exemplify your desired character values, propel you towards goals, and enrich the roles and relationships that were elaborated in Habit 2.
    The next three have to do with Interdependence (i.e. working with others)

    * Habit 4: Think Win-Win
    Synopsis: Genuinely strive for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships. Valuing and respecting people by understanding a "win" for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten his way.

    * Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
    Synopsis: Use empathetic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, respect, and positive problem solving.

    * Habit 6: Synergize
    Synopsis: Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals no one person could have done alone. Get the best performance out of a group of people through encouraging meaningful contribution, and modeling inspirational and supportive leadership.
    The Last habit relates to self-rejuvenation:

    * Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
    Synopsis: Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle.


    Not to say that i am the most amazing person but this book has really changed my outlook on life.

    Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. - Voltaire
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #6 - June 05, 2011, 12:39 PM

    stardust, I found that just through life experience, in particular staying active, trying things out of my comfort zone, reading and socialising, helped my confidence increase alot, and gave me an all round 'life education' as it were, made me more outgoing and confident.


    Here are a few things that I think once a person has done in life should definitely bolster their confidence:
    - Going to a party and approaching people you don't know (especially someone good looking, it takes balls  Tongue )
    - Going to a party all on your own ... and making friends
    - Visiting a town or city, on your own
    - Going jogging ... on your own
    - Talking to random people at a bus station, train station, airport

    ... I guess my philosophy about confidence is mainly that it really depends on your knowledge:
    e.g.
    - if you KNOW the risk of walking around in a certain city is safe - you'll be more confident in walking around
    - if you KNOW people at a party want to have a good time and will be welcoming - you'll be more confident in approaching, saying "hello" etc
    - if you KNOW and can judge a trustworthy person to someone who isn't - you'll be more confident in dealing with them

    So how does one learn to KNOW the above KNOWNS? Trial & error!

    Confidence I think is an emotion we've evolved to make us aware of risks we face as humans:
    - in being socially accepted
    - in not harming ourselves/staying safe
    - in not making radical decisions in like even

    Everything in a balance though of course - too much confidence is a bad thing ... that will be for next week's post Tongue
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #7 - June 05, 2011, 12:49 PM

    ^^ Thats good stuff. Worked for me as well.

    I have read a book called "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." Its probably the most popular self help book ever. I have seen it used in organizational development, medical etc.

    Here is a link:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seven_Habits_of_Highly_Effective_People

    Here is a quick overview of the habits:
    * Habit 1: Be Proactive
    Synopsis: Take initiative in life by realizing that your decisions (and how they align with life's principles) are the primary determining factor for effectiveness in your life. Take responsibility for your choices and the subsequent consequences that follow.

    * Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
    Synopsis: Self-discover and clarify your deeply important character values and life goals. Envision the ideal characteristics for each of your various roles and relationships in life.

    * Habit 3: Put First Things First
    Synopsis: Plan, prioritize, and execute your week's tasks based on importance rather than urgency. Evaluating if your efforts exemplify your desired character values, propel you towards goals, and enrich the roles and relationships that were elaborated in Habit 2.
    The next three have to do with Interdependence (i.e. working with others)

    * Habit 4: Think Win-Win
    Synopsis: Genuinely strive for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships. Valuing and respecting people by understanding a "win" for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten his way.

    * Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
    Synopsis: Use empathetic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, respect, and positive problem solving.

    * Habit 6: Synergize
    Synopsis: Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals no one person could have done alone. Get the best performance out of a group of people through encouraging meaningful contribution, and modeling inspirational and supportive leadership.
    The Last habit relates to self-rejuvenation:

    * Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
    Synopsis: Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle.


    Not to say that i am the most amazing person but this book has really changed my outlook on life.


    I've known people to be given this as a book to read by their mentors/employers! I've not read it but know it is highly recommended.  Afro
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #8 - June 05, 2011, 01:02 PM

    stardust, I found that just through life experience, in particular staying active, trying things out of my comfort zone, reading and socialising, helped my confidence increase alot, and gave me an all round 'life education' as it were, made me more outgoing and confident.



    But, Billy, that's given the fact that you have full freedom (or almost full freedom) to make those choices in your life to live it the way you wish and resulting in lots of experience and learning from that. When you're limited by religion, family....then you do the best you can with what you have, have to work around that Tongue

    I have plans, and I can see a brighter/a future with full-freedom and that keeps me positive and with hope things will work out Smiley

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #9 - June 05, 2011, 01:06 PM

    But stardust, that means the room for you to find yourself, and enjoy those things, and discover yourself, is exponentially greater than mine or others who have already done so, and your capacity for personal happiness through fulfilment and discovering new planets and galaxies through your life is greater too  Afro

    Look on the bright side. Your life is an adventure story.

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #10 - June 05, 2011, 01:10 PM

    ^^ Thats good stuff. Worked for me as well.

    I have read a book called "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." Its probably the most popular self help book ever. I have seen it used in organizational development, medical etc.

    Here is a link:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seven_Habits_of_Highly_Effective_Peopl

    Not to say that i am the most amazing person but this book has really changed my outlook on life.


    Thanks for that!

    *saved*

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #11 - June 05, 2011, 01:24 PM

    Here are a few things that I think once a person has done in life should definitely bolster their confidence:
    - Going to a party and approaching people you don't know (especially someone good looking, it takes balls  Tongue )
    - Going to a party all on your own ... and making friends
    - Visiting a town or city, on your own
    - Going jogging ... on your own
    - Talking to random people at a bus station, train station, airport

    ... I guess my philosophy about confidence is mainly that it really depends on your knowledge:
    e.g.
    - if you KNOW the risk of walking around in a certain city is safe - you'll be more confident in walking around
    - if you KNOW people at a party want to have a good time and will be welcoming - you'll be more confident in approaching, saying "hello" etc
    - if you KNOW and can judge a trustworthy person to someone who isn't - you'll be more confident in dealing with them

    So how does one learn to KNOW the above KNOWNS? Trial & error!

    Confidence I think is an emotion we've evolved to make us aware of risks we face as humans:
    - in being socially accepted
    - in not harming ourselves/staying safe
    - in not making radical decisions in like even



    Yeah, I agree with those points, but like i addressed to billy some aspects arn't accessible for many people given their personal situation.

    Quote
    Everything in a balance though of course - too much confidence is a bad thing ... that will be for next week's post Tongue


    Lol! Read all about it in next weeks issue!

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #12 - June 05, 2011, 01:47 PM

    Yeah, I agree with those points, but like i addressed to billy some aspects arn't accessible for many people given their personal situation.


    Oh I see. Sorry it is easy to forget. People take things for granted sometimes - not that they are lacking empathy per se Tongue

    Actually, in a way gaining confidence might be easier for people once personal situations have changed if they have been longing for it.

    I know a friend, female, with (at the time) unsupported parents from a small (and slightly conservative) town in the Pacific North West of the US who wasn't allowed out past 6pm. When she moved to a bustling city European city, the first thing she did was to enter a bar all on her own and meet people in a language she didn't know. Guess that what frustrations brewed in a confined personal situation can lead people to do sometimes!
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #13 - June 05, 2011, 02:16 PM

    So how does one learn to KNOW the above KNOWNS?

    Borrowing phrases from the best of them, eh HO? You bloody neo-cons and your clever wordy speak Wink
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiPe1OiKQuk&feature=related
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #14 - June 05, 2011, 02:35 PM

    I think there are philosophical remarks that apply to many other areas of our reality.
    You could also deduce two others in my post: balance and trial & error

    I don't see you relating the ideas of yin-yang or Darwinian evolution good sir! Are they both fascist ideas too!? Tongue
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #15 - June 05, 2011, 02:54 PM

    Now that I'm on new meds, I should try. DO these sites work?


    What Stardust said...

    It's not if the actual information or techniques work, PB.  It's whether you really want to change, and improve yourself. No website, book, or information, can change you.

    You have to make that decision for yourself, and stick to it. If the change is something you really want, you stick it out, no matter how bad it gets.

    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #16 - June 05, 2011, 03:26 PM

    http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/
    This site is a great guide for finding your direction in life and developing excellent time management as well as other matters concerning reaching happiness/enlightenment. Basically, liberating yourself from strongholds on your peace of mind. Good stuff.

    "I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."
    Muhammad Ali
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #17 - June 05, 2011, 04:32 PM

    That is a great website too!

    Some books I recommend:
    http://www.themindgym.com/books/

    The MindGym idea is we mostly run on autopilot. Therefore adjust your autopilot, and be a new you.  Afro
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #18 - August 10, 2011, 04:12 AM

    Here's a tip that I read in a self help book, 'day dream a lot about your future success in detail'. It's funny to think back that's exactly what I used to do, back when I felt confident, successful and in control, but I didn't realise that could be an aid to continual advancement, it's just something I did and never evaluated.

    What he says is that you build neural pathways and strengthen them each time some experience is repeated, even if it's via imagination - it's like a simulation i guess.

    Visualizing success.

    And it makes sense, thinking about the human psychology and tendency of humans towards ritualistic behaviors, habits, obsession and even addiction - you end up revolving your life around the object/idea...

    So when you continuously run a simulation in your mind it will probably 'leak' into other aspects of your life and you'll find you're doing things in alignment with your goals and find yourself on the road to success.

    Putting yourself into the right mentality I guess, but imagining success - believing in a successful outcome.

    Also due to this 'self-handicapping', which i seem to have developed resulting in the avoidance of even imagining about my future career etc- to reduce the associate stress (because of my negative outlook), I have stopped this thing I natural did. Currently I am feeling less in control, less certain and my actions aren't reflecting my desired outcome.

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #19 - August 10, 2011, 04:15 AM

    ^That's a bit of a bottom up approach to self development, working from within. You could also go for a top-down approach and throw yourself into habit, force yourself initially(but for most people I think this is more tricky) into a habit and then that becomes easier each time you put yourself into that situation.

    ETA: I think you have to be careful not to get stuck in the day dream with the bottom up approach.

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #20 - August 10, 2011, 05:16 AM

    I think it's also probably a good idea to have more than one focus, one main focus sure, but few other smaller but significant interests for a healthy rounded development. I ended up solely focusing on one thing, which is probably what led to the lack in drive for that topic for a very long period. I've always had some 'wishy washy' interests in this and that, but never went in enough depth with any one.

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #21 - August 10, 2011, 06:08 AM

    A great site to use is http://www.ted.com/, they have amazing talks on there.
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #22 - September 01, 2011, 08:18 PM

    ^Ted!  Afro

    I'm in need of more courage Tongue

    Quote
    1. Courage = Controlling you fear.
    Growing up in a military environment taught me one thing that I know is fact: Everyone is afraid of something (often many things). From the 6 foot Army Veteran who has served many months on the front lines, to the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, fear is a fact in each of their lives. But throughout history our true heroes were not the men and women that were not afraid, but rather those that faced their fear, acted in spite of it, and moved forward to overcome its choke hold on their lives.

    2. Face your fears.
    Realize that your fear is going to exist and maintain its control on your life until you face it. Once you face it –YOU will gain control and your fear will falter, thus lessening its grip on your life. However, let us not forget that the opposite is just as true. While moving towards that which you fear weakens that fear, avoiding it and heading away from that very same dread will empower and strengthen it, thus increasing its strangle hold on your life.

    Make facing your fear a habit-knit part of your life. Consciously and continuously take steps to chip away at that fear. Look at every situation or task that induces fear in you as a challenge, or an opportunity for you to become more than you are today, to become more of what you want to be.

    Last but not least – this one has almost said itself...

    3. Do what you fear and that fear’s demise is certain.



    http://www.businessknowhow.com/growth/3guiding.htm


    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #23 - September 01, 2011, 11:58 PM

    Traits of highly productive people:

    Quote
    1. They know what’s important.

    2. They plan their day.

    3. They’re able to get back on track faster.

    4. They know their priorities, and protect them.

    5. They problem-solve.

    6. They arm themselves with the right tools.

    7. They have laser-like focus.

    8. They’re well organized.

    9. They’re disciplined.

    10. They keep learning.



    http://psychcentral.com/lib/2011/10-traits-of-highly-productive-people/

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #24 - September 02, 2011, 12:00 AM

    :/

    I fail at prioritizing :p

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #25 - September 02, 2011, 03:02 AM

    http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #26 - September 02, 2011, 07:54 AM

    www.publicdisgrace.com

    www.trainingofo.com

    Yeah an I am super ugly, I can't even beat my chest am too skinny and when I roaaar to attract women, they laugh at me, because it sounds like a girl screaming. I can't even attract any bitches!  Cry

  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #27 - September 02, 2011, 07:58 AM


    Awesome, thanks. Afro

    Bookmarked.
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #28 - September 03, 2011, 03:05 PM

    Good inspirational speech by Al Pacino -Someone sent me this about year ago Smiley  He was a nice guy, I never kept contact with him though...

    (I think it was actually Billy who first linked me this one heh....^that guy was someone else im talking about though)


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO4tIrjBDkk&feature=related

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Personal Development -Resources.
     Reply #29 - September 03, 2011, 03:08 PM

    Our Deepest fear....(clip from Coach Carter)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ybt8wXIahQU&feature=related

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
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