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 Topic: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please

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  • My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     OP - June 25, 2011, 02:02 PM
    I am a Scottish man and I have a daughter to a Scottish woman, after our separation my ex-partner met and married a Pakistani man of Muslim faith, as part of this marriage, my partner agreed to convert to the faith also, however I was unaware that my daughter would be drawn into this too.

    Once married they decided to move my daughters school, and moved house without advising me, for six months I had no contact at all and even contacted private investigators to try and locate my daughter. Finally I managed locate her and commenced legal action to have regular contact with my daughter (I would like to add at this stage that my Daughter and I had a very close relationship and were together daily).

    My ex-partner and her husband refused to let me see her and via legal action proposed that two hours a week was enough and that no over night stays would be allowed. I can only presume that the refusal for overnight stays is related to the views of Islam9i, however I do not know enough to confirm this. They have also changed her surname illegally to that of the husband and I am currently in the process of rectifying this. However my main concern is that I would like to confirm the reasons why she cannot stay over with her father, I know I am a good father and my daughter misses my greatly.

    Can anyone please advise me where I could establish the facts or believes of "Muslim" children staying overnight.

    Thank you in advance for your assistance.   
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #1 - June 25, 2011, 02:05 PM
    I have never heard so much as a whisper regarding daughters not being able to stay with fathers in Islam.  Huh?
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #2 - June 25, 2011, 02:06 PM
    Hi!

    Its sad to hear what you are going through. The burden of proof is on them. Ask them for daleel (reference). I cant answer you right now , but i doubt that they are right. In any ways. You are the biological father and what English law says is more important then what Islam says. Use that card against them.
    "Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
            Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

    - John Keats
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #3 - June 25, 2011, 02:07 PM
    Quote from: Prince Spinoza on June 25, 2011, 02:05 PM
    I have never heard so much as a whisper regarding daughters not being able to stay with fathers in Islam.  Huh?


    I think its bullshit to be honest. I am not 100 % sure. The interesting part is that according to Islamic law after a divorce the children goes to the father.

    But i dont know why Islamic law should be applied at all. They live in UK!
    "Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
            Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

    - John Keats
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #4 - June 25, 2011, 02:10 PM
    Welcome Big Dog.   Smiley

    Were you legally married to the mother at the time of your daughter's birth?  If not, was your name definitely put on the birth cert?
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #5 - June 25, 2011, 02:25 PM
    Thank you for your support! it's very sad they way they have acted, however I'm currently in the process of court action, as much as I am using the law to support me, they are fabricating lies to try and justify why my daughter should not stay over...i.e. that I drink, gamble, etc....for the record, I do not drink alcohol and do not gamble at all, she knows this but the judge does not, and she obviously thinks that if he believes her, she may have a chance of having the court believe her lies. Gladly at court last week, the judge believed non of her lies as during questioning her lies fell apart. She also told the court that my daughter does not want to see me, and never ask's for me. However on seeing my daughter for the first time in six months she said "Daddy, I have missed you so much and cried every night in my bed for you, please don't go away again"

    This was heart breaking for me to hear my daughter say such words...and I need to make sure her relationship with her father is restored...I feel like this man is trying to take over as father and push me away, she also said that she has been told by her mother that he is her "new daddy" and I an her "old daddy"

    In any faith, lies and hurt are not approved of, and they claim to be nice honest religious people, however they are happy to lie to a court and a child and to me.

    Hopefully justice will rise and all will be restored to a happy balance in the end.

  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #6 - June 25, 2011, 02:28 PM
    Hi,

    No we were not married , however my name was on the birth cert from day 1. I applied for parental rights and one week prior to the court hearing she decided to change the name before I was granted the rights. This is very underhand and cannot be done if I have commenced proceeding for parental rights, so this should be resolved soon, and her surname returned to her original name, (my name).
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #7 - June 25, 2011, 02:29 PM
    Welcome !

    Your ex is trying to reduce you to a pup! Cheesy
    I think your case is stronger here!


    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #8 - June 25, 2011, 02:33 PM
    Quote from: Big Dog on June 25, 2011, 02:02 PM
    They have also changed her surname illegally to that of the husband and I am currently in the process of rectifying this.

    Have you told them that is forbidden in Islam?

    The child must be named after his/her biological father.
    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #9 - June 25, 2011, 02:34 PM
    Ok, if your name is on the birth cert you should have no problems getting access.  As to your question about Islam, no there is nothing in Islamic law that says a daughter can't stay over night with her father.  

    Was their attempt to change her name by any chance an attempt to get a passport for her without your knowledge?  They wouldn't be planning to up stakes and move to Pakistan, would they?
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #10 - June 25, 2011, 02:43 PM
    Thanks guys, I did not know that it is against islamic policy for the child to not have her biological fathers surname, thats very interesting and I will make sure they are advised of this via my solicitor.

    Also thank you for pointing out possible reason for the name change as poss passport or movement! I have has a interim interdict put in place to restrict movement from the UK. However is the changed her surname and changed her passport, then they may have found a loop hole to get her through passport control as the interdict would be on her old name / passport!! I feel sick now at the very thought of this and will again advise my solicitor or this first thing on Monday in case they have applied for an alternative passport.

    Thank you again for this excellent advise!
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #11 - June 25, 2011, 02:48 PM
    Quote from: Big Dog on June 25, 2011, 02:25 PM
    In any faith, lies and hurt are not approved of, and they claim to be nice honest religious people, however they are happy to lie to a court and a child and to me.

    far away hug
    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #12 - June 25, 2011, 02:59 PM
    Sorry to hear what you're going through Big Dog.   Cry

    Also how old is your daughter?  A court will usually take the child's wishes into consideration too when arriving at a decision.
    "The greatest general is not the one who can take the most cities or spill the most blood. The greatest general is the one who can take Heaven and Earth without waging the battle." ~ Sun Tzu

  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #13 - June 25, 2011, 03:07 PM
    Quote from: Big Dog on June 25, 2011, 02:43 PM
    ..................................

    Oh my goodness what a story.. what a life.. This repeats in this godamn religion so often.. I am sick of it.. Bog Dog sorry to know the mess., Just curious., How old is your daughter...??  You don't want to end up with  similar to that classic case  of  Molly Campbell

    with best wishes
    yeezevee
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #14 - June 25, 2011, 03:10 PM
    Hi,

    My daughter is six years old, and for the court we had a Barr report carried out, this is an independent solicitor that interviews both parents and the child and gives her report to the judge. During interviewing my daughter, her mother refused for my daughter to be interviewed on her own, and after negotiation insisted that the bedroom door be left open when she was being questioned. During the interview, my daughter looked at the door and said, "mum why are you making faces at me" obviously she was trying to influence the answers my daughter gave and this was noted by the reporter.

  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #15 - June 25, 2011, 03:27 PM
    Quote from: Big Dog on June 25, 2011, 03:10 PM
    Hi,

    My daughter is six years old,     and for the court we had a Barr report carried out, this is an independent solicitor that interviews both parents and the child and gives her report to the judge. During interviewing my daughter, her mother refused for my daughter to be interviewed on her own, and after negotiation insisted that the bedroom door be left open when she was being questioned. During the interview, my daughter looked at the door and said, "mum why are you making faces at me" obviously she was trying to influence the answers my daughter gave and this was noted by the reporter.

    I see she is quite young and that is a very impressionable age in her life., So were you in your daughter's life and you visited her  or she visited you quite often after you guys broke up??

    She is too young to know how people can manipulate her.. So what is your goal?? Would you like to take her away from her mother?  or would you like to have just visiting rights?  Clearly you love your daughter and you don't want her to grow up as Muslim right?? Is your wife has any kids with this gentleman that stopped you visiting your daughter??

    PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER THE QUESTIONS, if you don't want..
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #16 - June 25, 2011, 03:36 PM
    You can change your name, you can have yourself called Micky Mouse, you just cant use the old name, you make a simple deed stating you relinquish the old name, and now want to be known by the new name. Its a simple process and it is free.
    Left the forum: http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=22997
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #17 - June 25, 2011, 03:40 PM
    I'm not so sure but my mother once told me that according to islam the daughters stay with their mother til they are 7 (after 7 she stays with her dad) unless they get married again, in that case the dad is the one who has custody even before that age. I'm not too sure though, and it could work differently for different sects, etc.
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #18 - June 25, 2011, 03:40 PM
    Hello,

    I would be happy to have shared rights to our daughter, and I want her to have her mother and father in her life, however after reading the "Molly Campbell" story, and am increasingly concerned now and have just send my solicitor two emails in the past ten mins to look at how we should progress this situation, as I now feel my fight for overnight visitation is nowhere near enough!..I think now I should be looking at fighting for total custody of her for her own safety.

    I also read a statement on smacking children to make them pray!! That would be the biggest mistake he or she ever made!!!!

    And yes, she has had another child with him, one year ago, and is pregnant again just now. Do you think this would make them more likely to try and remove me from her life???

    I honestly feel like he has stolen my daughter and I will not rest until this is resolved, I love my daughter very much and will always do what I can to protect her...as any loving father would.

    Again, thank you all for the great support you are showing me.
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #19 - June 25, 2011, 03:42 PM
    Quote from: Aurora on June 25, 2011, 03:40 PM
    I'm not so sure but my mother once told me that according to islam the daughters stay with their mother til they are 7 (after 7 she stays with her dad) unless they get married again, in that case the dad is the one who has custody even before that age. I'm not too sure though, and it could work differently for different sects, etc.



    Thanks, this is very interesting and I would like more information on this if anyone can provide it. Thank you.
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #20 - June 25, 2011, 03:53 PM
    It has something to do with the new man not being her mahram, so she would have to cover herself from him when she gets older, while with you she would not have to. She would be more comfortable if she didn't have to worry about wearing the hijab in her own house don't you think?

    Anyway if they want to convert her too you could use this point.
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #21 - June 25, 2011, 04:01 PM
    I don't think it matters one jot what they do in Islam, your daughter is not a muslim and English law applies.

    If you can show the court that you can offer her stability and take care of her and her needs then I can't possibly see how the court could do any worse than give you 50/50 shared parental rights.   They will be aware of what your ex did when they tried to question your daughter. Did she tell them she wanted to be with you or not?

    "The greatest general is not the one who can take the most cities or spill the most blood. The greatest general is the one who can take Heaven and Earth without waging the battle." ~ Sun Tzu

  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #22 - June 25, 2011, 04:12 PM
    Yes, she said, she misses her daddy and wanted to spend more time with me.
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #23 - June 25, 2011, 04:20 PM
    You definitely sound like you have a stronger case Big Dog.

    Make sure you got a good solicitor who makes ALL the facts known to the court.  Good luck!  Afro
    "The greatest general is not the one who can take the most cities or spill the most blood. The greatest general is the one who can take Heaven and Earth without waging the battle." ~ Sun Tzu

  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #24 - June 25, 2011, 05:23 PM

    This kind of thing makes my blood boil. Don't let them get away with it Big Dog. finmad
    What they really can't stand is the thought that they might have a non-muslim family member to taint their own little family unit. They hate the thought that their own children might have a non-muslim sister and the embarrassement that that might bring.
    Fight tooth and nail to spend as much time as you can with your daughter Afro
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #25 - June 25, 2011, 05:28 PM
    Good luck Big Dog. Just remember, nobody fucks with the Big Dog! RUFF, RUFF!

    In all seriousness, it sounds like a really shitty situation but you are doing your best to handle it, so, again, best of luck.

    Here in America we'd call you Big Dawg, FYI.
    "In battle, the well-honed spork is more dangerous than the mightiest sword" -- Sun Tzu
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #26 - June 25, 2011, 05:35 PM
    Quote
    Quote from: Big Dog on June 25, 2011, 04:12 PM
    Yes, she said, she misses her daddy and wanted to spend more time with me.

    Quote from: Big Dog on June 25, 2011, 03:40 PM
    Hello,

    I would be happy to have shared rights to our daughter, and I want her to have her mother and father in her life, however after reading the "Molly Campbell" story, and am increasingly concerned now and have just send my solicitor two emails in the past ten mins to look at how we should progress this situation, as I now feel my fight for overnight visitation is nowhere near enough!..I think now I should be looking at fighting for total custody of her for her own safety.

    And yes, she has had another child with him, one year ago, and is pregnant again just now. Do you think this would make them more likely to try and remove me from her life???


     Big Dog, The way I see it is "YOU WILL WIN THE CASE in U.K and in Islamic country with Sharia laws. So the only thing you need is YOUR DETERMINATION and your ability to prove to council  that you will be able to fully support and take care of your daughter. It appears your Ex-GF is taking her revenge on you for some reason using your daughter.

    Quote
    I honestly feel like he has stolen my daughter and I will not rest until this is resolved, I love my daughter very much and will always do what I can to protect her...as any loving father would.

     please go through this link., it is fairly accurate as long as you hold on to  your case you will win.
    http://www.islamic-sharia.org/children/islamic-perspective-on-child-custody-after-divorce.html
    Quote
    However, if the mother marries again she would generally forfeit her right to custody. However, the period of female custody ends once the child reaches a certain age of custodial transfe

    So don't give up., the moment a daughter says that she would like to spend more time with her Dad., there is no law on this earth that will stop her seeing her Dad..  Even Islamic law., In fact Islamic law will give your former girl friend  200 lashes...
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #27 - June 25, 2011, 05:41 PM
    I am an ex-muslim convert and not very knowledgeable, but is it possible to convert a 6 year old? Is it just a question of taking Shahadah even if you have very little idea what it means? Can you make a 6 year old do that?
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #28 - June 25, 2011, 05:45 PM
    Quote from: Azuremist on June 25, 2011, 05:41 PM
    I am an ex-muslim convert and not very knowledgeable, but is it possible to convert a 6 year old? Is it just a question of taking Shahadah even if you have very little idea what it means? Can you make a 6 year old do that?

    Answer is NO.,

    Under strict Islamic code ., even an  ORPHAN CAN NOT BE CONVERTED in to Islam if she/he is under age., This under age is very flexible., often in Islam it is NOT number but the age of puberty..
    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Re: My Daughter is now being raised a Muslim against my will...I need advice please
     Reply #29 - June 25, 2011, 05:50 PM
    Quote from: yeezevee on June 25, 2011, 05:35 PM
    Big Dog, The way I see it is "YOU WILL WIN THE CASE in U.K and in Islamic country with Sharia laws. So the only thing you need is YOUR DETERMINATION and your ability to prove to council  that you will be able to fully support and take care of your daughter.

     Afro
    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
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