My story of leaving Islam
OP - July 04, 2011, 10:07 PM
Hi everyone! I'm an ex-Muslim from the United States who's left the religion of peace probably more than a half decade ago. My studies of science and overall trends in history were probably what led me to question the faith first. For me this naturally led to questioning my parents and grandparents about any and all aspects of Islam that I found objectionable. Sometimes this led to circular arguments, other times I was drawn back in with "evidences" that seem woefully transparent to me now. Still, when at end I could not be convinced of the merits of a particular teaching I was always told by my parents to read the quran and its translation to gain a real understanding of Islam. As the writing style of the quran and its English translations is not really conducive to gaining an understanding of Islam, let alone our rapidly changing world, I looked into acquiring tafseer(commentary) of the Quran from Islamic scholars in order see the context that was always missing in the translation of quranic verses. I was greatly excited then, when I was able to get a copy of Ma'ariful Qur'an written by the respected scholar Maulana Mufti Muhammad Shafi from my local mosque, which sits in my bookshelf to this day.
I didn't know at the time how reading this narrative, the context behind the verses of the Quran would affect my attitude towards the religion. To me it was just incredibly exciting to get a glimpse into the mind of a great scholar as he interpreted the meaning behind the books often vague, poetically styled verses. My reading though, ended up bringing more questions and objections in my head than ever. There were many verses that I would discuss and debate at the time before I began to find the apology for Islam lacking, and I think most of us are familiar with the ones that are most absurd/objectionable. Suffice it to say, I quickly came to the conclusion that Islam as described in the Quran could not be the guide for all of mankind that it claimed to be and provided nothing resembling a reasonable way of life or deen for its followers in many largely pluralistic societies around the world.
I think it was at that point that I truly left Islam, but I haven't really gotten around to calling myself an atheist until recently. What most scared me about leaving Islam for all of these years wasn't a fear of a hell or other punishment, but rather the changed nature of my relationships with all the Muslims, especially my family, that I have surrounded myself with throughout my life. It was that feeling of aloneness that would keep me from being vocal about my thoughts about Islam and god. For that reason it brings me great joy to hear about and join a site such as this, that truly lets ex-Muslims like myself know that they are not alone, but are rather part of a continuing tide of those who are leaving Islam.
Thanks all for reading my story. I hope I'll be able to share a lot more of myself through these forums, and learn much about my fellow ex-Muslims as well.
Yours truly,
asbdsp#J