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Theme Changer

 Topic: Polyamory

 (Read 12923 times)
  • 12 3 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Polyamory
     OP - July 08, 2011, 09:16 AM
    So i got rid of the period in the subject (Thank you MAB)

    Polyamory, Why would you consider it, additionally what would it take to consider it in that case? And why wouldn't you ?

    Personally, it is an amusing thought. One of my favorite couples would swing once in a while. I adjusted to the idea pretty quickly but was not thinking  to try it out myself because i didn't have that relationship that made you go " let's try something new for a change" always had that problem of screwing up the base before it came to life. looking back, maybe not such a bad thing?
    Since we are able to be influenced by our various surroundings as appose to other species who  simply follow their nature whether it be to mate for life or mate with plenty. (who knows, they might have infidel members i haven't heard of) We have the chance to adjust to the idea and make that change  consciously should we wish to.
    Personally, it would take a certain atmosphere for me, since i don't have control over that , that's what it would take. simply envisioning it gives me this highly liberated feeling" i am free, so are you, and there is love"

    I wondered how you all saw it implemented in your lives should you give a minute to put yourself in those shoes?

    "Tomorrow is the today you were worried about yesterday" Unknown
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #1 - July 08, 2011, 09:33 AM
    Personally, if what you're talking about is a long-term "open relationship" with another person, I'd be open to the idea, but not necessarily favoring it for myself (if what you're talking about is simply fooling around with different people in non-committed relationships for short periods of time, however, that's pretty been most of my life). My limited experience from the "open relationship" when I was younger is that all kinds of complications and jealousies tend to crop up. I'm not saying it's totally unworkable for everyone and every situation, nor that it would necessarily be unworkable for me in any conceivable scenario, but it's not generally a situation I'd be looking to put myself in if I were in a "serious" relationship with someone.

    Dealing with the complications, struggles and drama of a serious relationship with another person is difficult enough without throwing in the monkey-wrench of multiple partners/open relationship. So while it may be a good or workable deal for some folks, and I wouldn't dismiss the possibility out-of-hand, I'm thinking it probably isn't for me. If I wanna continue fucking other people, I'll just keep doin what I'm doin, dating people short-term, and falling into the occasional fuck-buddy scenario or one-night stand. But if I want a serious, long-term relationship, I'm gonna favor a monogamous one. Not a moral judgment but rather a practical one in terms of what I think will work best for me.
    "In battle, the well-honed spork is more dangerous than the mightiest sword" -- Sun Tzu
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #2 - July 08, 2011, 01:07 PM
    Polyamory would cause a world of hurt imo unless both partners agree to it.
    But I believe you can deeply love no more than one person.
    Suppose you love this person and you discover that s/he loves someone else as well... hurts doesn't it?
    Treat people the way you expect to be treated.
    I'm open for debate (of why we should re-/embrace Islam), but I will no longer participate in this forum. Message me if you need anything. Good luck and may you all find your way... again...
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #3 - July 08, 2011, 01:11 PM
    If both partners don't agree to it, it's not called polyamory it's called cheating.
    "In battle, the well-honed spork is more dangerous than the mightiest sword" -- Sun Tzu
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #4 - July 08, 2011, 01:55 PM
    I remember watching a show called Caprica once, and this woman's set up was that she lived with a whole bunch of people and all of them were in a relationship with her.  Like 3 husbands and 3 wives, possibly more.  That seemed cool to me.  cool2

    But would it work in reality?  not so sure.

    I'm open to the idea of an open relationship, but whether it would work out is where it gets a bit shady really.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #5 - July 08, 2011, 04:22 PM
    Having never been there, that would definitely have to be kept in consideration.

    On the other hand, i do like waking up by somebody and knowing i have someone to plan my day with. So if both manage to be available for the other, Emotionally mostly, it doesn't sound so bad. it takes individuals who have space. I think that's the part that intrigues me.
    "Tomorrow is the today you were worried about yesterday" Unknown
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #6 - July 08, 2011, 04:59 PM
    Quote from: Raccoon Rapist on July 08, 2011, 01:11 PM
    If both partners don't agree to it, it's not called polyamory it's called cheating.

    It's not cheating if they both know.
    I'm open for debate (of why we should re-/embrace Islam), but I will no longer participate in this forum. Message me if you need anything. Good luck and may you all find your way... again...
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #7 - July 08, 2011, 05:01 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on July 08, 2011, 01:55 PM
    I remember watching a show called Caprica once, and this woman's set up was that she lived with a whole bunch of people and all of them were in a relationship with her.  Like 3 husbands and 3 wives, possibly more.  That seemed cool to me.  cool2

    But would it work in reality?  not so sure.

    I'm open to the idea of an open relationship, but whether it would work out is where it gets a bit shady really.




    Well if it's just for fun, yeah it would workout.

    But there is no such thing of a SERIOUS open relationship. You can't support a family with such a partner.
    I'm open for debate (of why we should re-/embrace Islam), but I will no longer participate in this forum. Message me if you need anything. Good luck and may you all find your way... again...
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #8 - July 08, 2011, 05:04 PM
    Polyamory/Polygamy is for promiscuous jerks who can't be satisfied with one person.
    Learn to love or at least stay with the person you like most.
    Liking 3 girls/guys equally? WT-BLOODY-F???
    I'm open for debate (of why we should re-/embrace Islam), but I will no longer participate in this forum. Message me if you need anything. Good luck and may you all find your way... again...
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #9 - August 29, 2011, 07:34 PM
    I don't think you should be so quick to generalize, luftazure.

    I'm still young, so I don't know what I'll be like when I'm older, but right now I feel it is impractical for me to expect that all my needs be met by a single woman, and I don't think I would be jealous if my partner was seeing someone else. I feel that if I truly, truly love someone, I would only want for them to be happy -- even if it's with someone else.

    That's the way I am. Does that make me a jerk? I don't really think so.

    Why should we give so much importance to heteronormativity? Why shouldn't we innovate, and strive to reach something new?
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #10 - August 29, 2011, 07:53 PM
    Being unsatisfied with one person does not make you a jerk, it makes you a human being. Why are we not satisfied with one friend yet have to be satisfied with one partner?

    I'm bisexual, I want dick and pussy. What do?
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #11 - August 29, 2011, 07:54 PM
    Be monogomous with a hermaphrodite, duh. 
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #12 - August 29, 2011, 07:56 PM
     Cheesy

    Touché.
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #13 - August 29, 2011, 08:00 PM
    All of you can go fuck yourselves...how bout that?
    fuck you
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #14 - August 29, 2011, 08:02 PM
    Stop fishing for home masturbating porn Colonel. 

    They have red tube for that. Tongue
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #15 - August 29, 2011, 08:04 PM
    People are so offended by this idea it's laughable really- monogomy is violently pushed onto us despite the fact that real life evidence shows it's not 'natural'. People are not satisfied with just one, be they male or female.

    When you're in a relationship you are family- you take care of each other etc. Sex is different. There's no feeling like new sex. No matter who you're with (even if he/she's a supermodel) after a while things get boring. You get used to each other. You stop bothering, you even have less sex cos you just can't be bothered. I think there's nothing wrong with open relationships. One person can give you something you need/want so you have a relationship- whether it's money, domestic comfort, children, etc. You can be happy with this person but still need more. No one person can fulfil all your needs.

    If two people are truly in love, they will be able to engage in sex with others, even relationships, without losing each other. If the swinging/open nature leads to one leaving the other this just shows (s)he wasn't happy with you to begin with and upgraded. Like the friend analogy someone made, you can have one best friend and many regular friends, good time friends, but only one who's there for you in a special way and vice versa.
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #16 - August 29, 2011, 08:09 PM
     Roll Eyes

    Ugh. So basically you're complaining about people saying monogamy is best then you go on to try to convince us as to why polyamory is more "natural" and better, and proceed to make judgements on what behavior two people who are "truly in love" should be able to tolerate. I have the same message to you as I have to those cheerleading monogamy-- do whatever the fuck you want, I don't care, but don't try lecturing the rest of us on how your preferred lifestyle is superior.
    fuck you
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #17 - August 29, 2011, 08:13 PM
    Yeah, I don't find the idea laughable.  But I do find that you keep insisting one person can't give US all we need, that its not possible, when really you mean yourself.

    I mean I never wanted anyone else when I was married.  Would this have stayed the same if I was still married?  I don't really know, but before I was married, I couldn't be with just one man, I had never felt love, just warmth and affection for the boyfriends I had, which meant it was easy for me to desire someone new when things got stale.

    I have even had 3 boyfriends at the same time (not at THE same time lol), because I enjoyed each of their company.

    But then I felt love.  I never wanted anybody else.  No one came close, no one could turn my head anymore.

    I would still do the open thing, but chances are if I have decided to be open with you, its because what I feel for you just isn't enough.

    I'm not sure if we are supposed to be monogomous, I think we are just meant to be whatever feels right at the time.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #18 - August 29, 2011, 08:14 PM
    Quote from: Saffire on August 29, 2011, 08:04 PM
    There's no feeling like new sex.

    For you maybe. For me it always gets better with time, trust and knowledge of the other.

    I have an open mind on open relationships, though. Different strokes for different folks.
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #19 - August 29, 2011, 08:16 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on August 29, 2011, 08:13 PM
    I think we are just meant to be whatever feels right at the time.


    +1000000000000000
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #20 - August 29, 2011, 08:20 PM
    Oops I didn't mean to encompass all, was merely highlighting the fallacy in asserting monogomy is natural. I remain that no one person can satisfy all your needs, this is fact. If you list everything you like and dislike, you can't find a person that matches entirely. However, some (many?) people are happy to NOT have everything.

    Me, I'm greedy- I want everything.

    True, to each their own.
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #21 - August 29, 2011, 08:22 PM
    It's true that it's unlikely my spouse would be able to fix my car, but really, I don't mind asking someone else to do that. And I hope she won't either.

    Unless you mean something more specific by 'all your needs', in which case - elaborate.

    This is fact, btw.
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #22 - August 29, 2011, 08:24 PM
    Quote from: Saffire on August 29, 2011, 08:20 PM
    If you list everything you like and dislike, you can't find a person that matches entirely.


    No, but if you're lucky you can find someone who matches you very closely on the most important stuff.

    Quote
    However, some (many?) people are happy to NOT have everything.


    This still comes off as condescending.

    Quote
    Me, I'm greedy- I want everything.


    You'll never get everything, Tony Montana.
    fuck you
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #23 - August 29, 2011, 08:31 PM
    I am a one man's woman   001_wub
    Teach us to care and not to care / Teach us to sit still.
    What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult to each other
    You are the music while the music lasts.
    T.S.Eliot
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #24 - August 29, 2011, 08:47 PM
    Reach for the stars, settle on the moon  Tongue

    By all my needs what I mean is this:

    My bf is great, he's kind and interesting. I love the way he's so earthy, hunting, fishing, etc. I have a good relaxed life with him.

    I miss being in a relationship with a guy who's younger, more lively. Partying, etc.

    Also, I miss having an affectionate bf. My bf is caring but not affectionate. This type of guy annoys me but I miss it sometimes. I also like having a smart knowledgable older bf, but I miss the doe eyed admiration of a younger guy.

    Colonel, re the condescending undertones, I must say you're coming across condescending asserting my condescention! The reality is we all think we are correct, or we wouldn't think what we think. No matter what 'truth' we cling to we believe it's THE truth, and all other opinions to the contrary are wrong. We all say we accept other's views, and we do, we accept their right to their pinions and choices, but we still think we're right or, like I said, we wouldn't think them. Therefroe, in an opinion based discussion it's nigh on impossible to not come across condescending.

  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #25 - August 29, 2011, 08:51 PM
    Quote from: Saffire on August 29, 2011, 08:47 PM
    Reach for the stars, settle on the moon  Tongue

    By all my needs what I mean is this:

    My bf is great, he's kind and interesting. I love the way he's so earthy, hunting, fishing, etc. I have a good relaxed life with him.

    I miss being in a relationship with a guy who's younger, more lively. Partying, etc.

    Also, I miss having an affectionate bf. My bf is caring but not affectionate. This type of guy annoys me but I miss it sometimes. I also like having a smart knowledgable older bf, but I miss the doe eyed admiration of a younger guy.

    Just fucking date more. That's the whole point of dating. If you throw out the hook enough times eventually you end up with the right fish.  Roll Eyes

    Your problem is, you're not satisfied with your bf, but instead of letting him go so he can find someone who'll like him for who he is, you want to keep him in your tentacles AS WELL as find someone else to fuck, while knowing quite well how your boyfriend would feel if that happened. Its just selfishness.
    Quote from: King Tut on December 09, 2012, 06:28 PM
    Yeah an I am super ugly, I can't even beat my chest am too skinny and when I roaaar to attract women, they laugh at me, because it sounds like a girl screaming. I can't even attract any bitches!  Cry

  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #26 - August 29, 2011, 08:53 PM
    Quote from: Saffire on August 29, 2011, 08:47 PM
    I must say you're coming across condescending asserting my condescention!


    LMAO, I love that!
    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #27 - August 29, 2011, 08:53 PM
    Saf, you are not in love with your bf,  stop wasting his time, its not fair on him, tell him how you feel and move on.
    Teach us to care and not to care / Teach us to sit still.
    What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult to each other
    You are the music while the music lasts.
    T.S.Eliot
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #28 - August 29, 2011, 08:54 PM
    Quote from: shilakijawani on August 29, 2011, 08:51 PM
    Just fucking date more. That's the whole point of dating. If you throw out the hook enough times eventually you end up with the right fish.  Roll Eyes

    Your problem is, you're not satisfied with your bf, but instead of letting him go so he can find someone who'll like him for who he is, you want to keep him in your tentacles AS WELL as find someone else to fuck, while knowing quite well how your boyfriend would feel if that happened. Its just selfishness.


    So says the guy who needs a forum thread to decide if banging a married chick without her hubby knowing is A ok.

    With your shaky moral framework, I'd climb down off that high horse of yours, pronto.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Polyamory
     Reply #29 - August 29, 2011, 08:55 PM
    Quote from: Saffire on August 29, 2011, 08:47 PM
    Colonel, re the condescending undertones, I must say you're coming across condescending asserting my condescention!


     Smiley Okay, that was funny.

    Quote
    The reality is we all think we are correct, or we wouldn't think what we think. No matter what 'truth' we cling to we believe it's THE truth, and all other opinions to the contrary are wrong. We all say we accept other's views, and we do, we accept their right to their pinions and choices, but we still think we're right or, like I said, we wouldn't think them. Therefroe, in an opinion based discussion it's nigh on impossible to not come across condescending.


    Fair nuff, though I still think that you are generalizing your choice on the matter as being objectively best, rather than just best for you, or at least that's how it comes across to me. But whatever, I found my passport so I'm done hating you for now.
    fuck you
  • 12 3 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »