Your Funeral

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Your Funeral
OP - July 17, 2011, 09:36 AM

This question is directed at all ex-Muslim atheists here, have you given a thought to your funeral, how would you like to be disposed of after death? Would you still go for an Islamic burial, or would you think of cremation and scattering your ashes? Or you just don't care?

My late husband was an atheist and he really wanted to be cremated, he asked me to scatter his ashes on a nature reserve he loved. At the time I was deep into Islam, it was such a hard decision for me after his death, but at the end I respected his wish and cremated him as he wished. I can’t deny I had a lot of guilt and sleepless nights about that, thinking I should have followed an Islamic burial ritual, why did I send his body to be burnt off, had many awful thoughts about his body actually feeling the fire and pain as he was cremated etc etc... Now am so happy I did it exactly as he wanted.

Consequently, I am thinking, how should my own funeral be? Or maybe I shouldn’t care?
Anyone thought of this and how would you like to be burried?

Teach us to care and not to care / Teach us to sit still.
What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult to each other
You are the music while the music lasts.
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #1 - July 17, 2011, 09:48 AM

Body donated to scientific research and certified organ donor.
My death is already taken care of
Lets just hope they don't come around early for the parts
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #2 - July 17, 2011, 09:49 AM

I haven't really decided. Whatever is easiest I guess. Probably cremated or if the body is still useful scientific research I guess (good idea mighty_cats!), but more importantly that people come together. And for me the another question is:
How do you want people to remember you at your funeral ...

... but this is a different conversation I guess!

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #3 - July 17, 2011, 09:50 AM

I wanted a Tibetan sky burial, but I'm an organ donor. Will probably just end up being cremated or something afterwards.
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #4 - July 17, 2011, 09:57 AM

I donno, but cremation still sounds scary to me... :S

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #5 - July 17, 2011, 10:09 AM

Quote from: HighOctane on July 17, 2011, 09:49 AM
How do you want people to remember you at your funeral ...

I already discussed this with varying family members.
No idols (such as urns, gravestones, rituals etc etc) No atmosphere which concludes that 'sadness' is a requirement and certainly no holy man.
Just one small party every year (for the first 5 years) on my birthday with the cake of their choice.
and no presents for each other or decorations (don't want my birthday correlated with obligated gift giving and money spending), just a time to enjoy yourself (and pass it off as a 'religious holiday' for a paid day off work)
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #6 - July 17, 2011, 10:40 AM

Organ donor too, but I hope the rest of my body can be used as compost for a young tree in a forest. I like the idea that my atoms will be part of a new life, and my friends/family will have something to visit and watch grow.
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #7 - July 17, 2011, 10:43 AM

Quote from: Fara7 on July 17, 2011, 09:36 AM
This question is directed at all ex-Muslim atheists here, have you given a thought to your funeral, how would you like to be disposed of after death? Would you still go for an Islamic burial, or would you think of cremation and scattering your ashes? Or you just don't care?

My late husband was an atheist and he really wanted to be cremated, he asked me to scatter his ashes on a nature reserve he loved. At the time I was deep into Islam, it was such a hard decision for me after his death, but at the end I respected his wish and cremated him as he wished. I can’t deny I had a lot of guilt and sleepless nights about that, thinking I should have followed an Islamic burial ritual, why did I send his body to be burnt off, had many awful thoughts about his body actually feeling the fire and pain as he was cremated etc etc... Now am so happy I did it exactly as he wanted.

Consequently, I am thinking, how should my own funeral be? Or maybe I shouldn’t care?
Anyone thought of this and how would you like to be burried?

Buried in Hendon Cemetery, next to my daughter, Huda. No Islamic rituals - and all religious references banned. I would like some music, perhaps this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMNrVEi54yA
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #8 - July 17, 2011, 10:52 AM

I am organ donor too. I haven't decided whether to be cremated in the cheapest form or to donate rest of the body for scientific research.

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #9 - July 17, 2011, 10:55 AM

I want to be buried live on CEMB so you can all slowly watch me burn. I am sure it would even give a few of you satisfaction, but that's ok, cos me and my African ghost will be coming after you once the funeral is over.

No seriously, I have no idea. Burn me, if I have the money turn me into a diamond, if the future is here turn me into a cyborg, upload my brain onto the internetz so that I can stalk prince until he dies.

I will be dead, I don't think I care.

Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #10 - July 17, 2011, 10:59 AM

After leaving Islam it was alot easier to think about death . I wanna be either cremated or have an eco-friendly funeral because it seems like it costs alot to fucking die . By then my parents will know I have left Islam (well I hope so , thinking of writing a will ) . I want people to shed tears but also laugh and think of the good times .

I wanna get my little sister to read this

Quote
"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here."
— Richard Dawkins

And this song will be playing

The Beatles - I'm only sleeping
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETO3YfDKEI4

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #11 - July 17, 2011, 11:01 AM

Quote from: BerberElla on July 17, 2011, 10:55 AM
No seriously, I have no idea. Burn me, if I have the money turn me into a diamond, if the future is here turn me into a cyborg, upload my brain onto the internetz so that I can stalk prince until he dies.

Has anyone here though about cryonics?
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #12 - July 17, 2011, 11:36 AM

Quote from: ChinaDoll on July 17, 2011, 10:59 AM
I wanna get my little sister to read this

And this song will be playing

The Beatles - I'm only sleeping
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETO3YfDKEI4

Excellent quote - I think I'll add that to my funeral

And wonderful song - love the Beatles
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #13 - July 17, 2011, 11:39 AM

Joha was sitting one day with his friends drinking coffee. They were discussing death:

"When you die and friends and family are sitting around your coffin mourning you, what would you like them to say?"

The first said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband and loving family man."

The second said, " I would like them to say I was a great teacher who made a huge difference to the world."

Joha replied, " I would like them to say... "Look! He's moving!!!"

http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=13497.0
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #14 - July 17, 2011, 11:46 AM

The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
Thomas Paine

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #15 - July 17, 2011, 11:49 AM

Quote from: Hassan on July 17, 2011, 11:39 AM
Joha was sitting one day with his friends drinking coffee. They were discussing death:

"When you die and friends and family are sitting around your coffin mourning you, what would you like them to say?"

The first said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband and loving family man."

The second said, " I would like them to say I was a great teacher who made a huge difference to the world."

Joha replied, " I would like them to say... "Look! He's moving!!!"

http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=13497.0

Oh my, I haven't heard a Joha joke since I left the Arab land...

Teach us to care and not to care / Teach us to sit still.
What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult to each other
You are the music while the music lasts.
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #16 - July 17, 2011, 02:37 PM

I would like an elaborate funeral with lots of music by the Pogues, lots of liquor and cocaine, a 21 gun salute, and my body cryonically preserved, and my weapons, ammo, and precious metals cached in a secret location, so that if I am revived into a future where it's all peaceful and there are no guns or money, I can take the fuck over.

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #17 - July 17, 2011, 02:50 PM

A 21 gun salute... in the direction of my coffin.

I make it rain - apparently?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh_I19_mKkU&list=SP1665576E7498BAB7&index=2&feature=plcp
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #18 - July 17, 2011, 02:52 PM

Islamic style funerals are actually the most eco friendly. No expensive coffin, no pollution caused by burning and no wood required either (as with hindu funeral pyre).

Also, I think it's a good thing that Muslims bury the body quickly.

So compared to other religions on the issue of funerals, Islam comes out tops imo.

.
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #19 - July 17, 2011, 02:57 PM

Only Islamic burial requires buying a small piece of land to be buried in, its very expensive.

I know the simplest funeral ever, with cremation, cost around 3K, no idea how much an islamic funeral would cost.

Teach us to care and not to care / Teach us to sit still.
What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult to each other
You are the music while the music lasts.
T.S.Eliot
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #20 - July 17, 2011, 03:08 PM

Hello, Fara7. I don't think we've met before.

Cremated and turned into a tree is the way to go. Preferably oak, apple, palm or jacaranda. A small garden party afterwards would be nice, too.

http://bigthink.com/ideas/38299?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+bigthink%2Fmain+%28Big+Think+Main%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #21 - July 17, 2011, 03:11 PM

Hi Wyre, great find. Make sure you have this in your will, if you leave it to others, you never know what they'll do with your body.

Teach us to care and not to care / Teach us to sit still.
What do we live for; if it is not to make life less difficult to each other
You are the music while the music lasts.
T.S.Eliot
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #22 - July 17, 2011, 03:13 PM

Quote from: Shahid Raza on July 17, 2011, 02:52 PM
Islamic style funerals are actually the most eco friendly. No expensive coffin, no pollution caused by burning and no wood required either (as with hindu funeral pyre).

Also, I think it's a good thing that Muslims bury the body quickly.

So compared to other religions on the issue of funerals, Islam comes out tops imo.

Allow me to disagree on one minor point

The best thing about a funeral (IMO) is the coming together of people. Since the body must be buried quickly, this doesn't allow for time to send quick invites and gather people over.

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #23 - July 17, 2011, 03:13 PM

Btw Fara7, welcome and interesting thread

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #24 - July 17, 2011, 03:22 PM

Quote from: HighOctane on July 17, 2011, 03:13 PM
Allow me to disagree on one minor point

The best thing about a funeral (IMO) is the coming together of people. Since the body must be buried quickly, this doesn't allow for time to send quick invites and gather people over.

You can do a memorial service a considerable time after the funeral. I'm going to a memorial service in September for a friend who died in May. Even Christian funerals and wakes often happen quickly enough to where not everyone who would come is able to make it-- I've had to miss a few because of that.

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #25 - July 17, 2011, 03:23 PM

I don't care if my family/friends have any rituals, they can do whatever they want because I'll be dead and it won't matter. The main thing is that family/friends are attending funeral, not how they are doing it.
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #26 - July 17, 2011, 03:43 PM

Quote from: Hassan on July 17, 2011, 11:36 AM
Excellent quote - I think I'll add that to my funeral

And wonderful song - love the Beatles

Thanks it was a lot easier to plan knowing I wasn't going to roast in hell !

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #27 - July 17, 2011, 04:04 PM

Quote from: Shahid Raza on July 17, 2011, 02:52 PM
Islamic style funerals are actually the most eco friendly. No expensive coffin, no pollution caused by burning and no wood required either (as with hindu funeral pyre).

Also, I think it's a good thing that Muslims bury the body quickly.

So compared to other religions on the issue of funerals, Islam comes out tops imo.

Whoohoo, a funeral that bars women from attending comes out on tops even in an ex muslim forum in this day and age. FTW? I think not.

Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #28 - July 17, 2011, 04:11 PM

Quote from: -Tmp- on July 17, 2011, 03:23 PM
I don't care if my family/friends have any rituals, they can do whatever they want because I'll be dead and it won't matter. The main thing is that family/friends are attending funeral, not how they are doing it.

I agree, and I can only hope that family and friends will attend my funeral. I am out of control by then.

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Re: Your Funeral
Reply #29 - July 17, 2011, 04:53 PM

Quote from: BerberElla on July 17, 2011, 04:04 PM
Whoohoo, a funeral that bars women from attending comes out on tops even in an ex muslim forum in this day and age. FTW? I think not.

Eh, I think he just meant it comes out on top in terms of a quick, efficient and effective method of body disposal.

"In battle, the well-honed spork is more dangerous than the mightiest sword" -- Sun Tzu
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