Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?

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Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
OP - July 29, 2011, 05:51 PM

I need a little guidance,
I am in process of becoming atheist (as no religion seems to be perfect as Islam , so I dont want to accept any other religion) ..... but I am afraid of one thing..... I have seen many atheists that when they become atheists they start abusing their parents and family members and other believers........ isn't it same as believers make fun of atheists........

I love my parents so so so so much......and I also love my brothers very very much ..... most of it came from teachings of Islam ... .but I sincerely love them no matter Islam is my religion or not..... they have sacrificed their lives for me and my brothers...... my family is very tolerant and I am sure I wont have any problem even if I announce my disbelief to my family (but only family).........

I want to know why many atheists (at least most of them I have seen) abuse and make fun of their parents....is it that atheists don't value their families...they don't respect what their parents did for them ? I am afraid that I will become one of those who start hating their parents and family members

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #1 - July 29, 2011, 05:56 PM

I have split your post out of the thread you placed it since that was someone elses blog.

Instead I have created a thread for your question.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #2 - July 29, 2011, 06:03 PM

Welcome to this forum Kartoos, and have the customary parrot
You are in the process of leaving Islam. I think it's a wise decision. Of course you love your parents and family. When you read more over here you will see how the apostates here are struggling with your questions. Hating of parents and family is very uncommon here, and most problems of apostates come from parents and family who hate the apostate, not the wqay around. Read and learn! And please keep us informed about your thoughts!

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #3 - July 29, 2011, 06:24 PM

I don't hate my parents. I make fun of them because it's... fun.

A lot of apostates are abused by their parents, in which case why would you begrudge them doing the same? Not that I consider posting on an internet forum 'abusive'.
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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #4 - July 29, 2011, 06:33 PM

My parents deserve it.

But even then I don't abuse and make fun of them often and you make it sound like this is some common occurance. There are loads of members here who have lots of respect for their parents.

There are ex muslims here who still pretend to be muslims out of LOVE for their parents.

You are making gross generalisations and using them to say perhaps you should remain a muslim as only muslims know how to respect their family.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #5 - July 29, 2011, 06:39 PM

Disrepect is a reactionary emotion, it's not something that you can acquire by joining or leaving a religion. My behaviour with my parents is exactly the same as it used to be when I was a muslim, in fact I think I've become more sensitive towards their needs because I can understand it is difficult for them to accept their daughter is going to go to hell cause she isn't a muslim anymore. And I'm only one of a million examples that proves your absurd theory that atheists disrespect their parents.

EDIT: I didn't realise this was an introduction thread. Islam has that effect on a person where they think they're only good human beings cause they're part of the one true religion, obviously as you come out of that phase you realise that you can still keep all your values and morals without having the burden of religion and it's heavenly incentives.

In fact when I was dealing with this apostasy issue with my family they would try and convince me that being a muslim encouraged you to be a good human being because it offered heaven at the end. And I would argue why would a perfect religion teach you to do good with selfish incentives, whereas really you should do good unconditionally and without expecting anything in return. They left it at that.
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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #6 - July 29, 2011, 06:47 PM

My dad disowned me because I apostatised and refused to revert. But I don't give a shit. I don't abuse them either. Nuff said.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #7 - July 29, 2011, 06:49 PM

Welcome to CEMB, kartoos! You're on right track

Quote from: kartoos on July 29, 2011, 05:51 PM
I want to know why many atheists (at least most of them I have seen) abuse and make fun of their parents....is it that atheists don't value their families...they don't respect what their parents did for them ? I am afraid that I will become one of those who start hating their parents and family members

Well kartoos first of all atheism is not an religion/cult, so some might come across as such dicks, but not all are like that. For instance, most of us here are atheists, and are nice fellas (except to trolls) and love their parents. They might also be educated, does that mean their education caused them to abuse their parents?

Actually, think about it this way, you can love your parents without any restrictions, not because Allah orders so, but with your full heart. Doesn't that make you feel even better? Or are you telling us that you're just mechanically pretending to love them because Allah orders you to?

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #8 - July 29, 2011, 07:41 PM

Quote from: BerberElla on July 29, 2011, 06:33 PM
My parents deserve it.

But even then I don't abuse and make fun of them often and you make it sound like this is some common occurance. There are loads of members here who have lots of respect for their parents.

There are ex muslims here who still pretend to be muslims out of LOVE for their parents.

You are making gross generalisations and using them to say perhaps you should remain a muslim as only muslims know how to respect their family.

+1

Unlike your Dad, mine is a jerk and a bully(verbally) but i also have a soft spot for my mother despite her annoying she can be. I can emphatize with her on that,i just wish she should stop living the life dictated by the society and be who she was 18 years ago but that has remain a wishful thinking.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #9 - July 29, 2011, 08:11 PM

Quote from: kartoos on July 29, 2011, 05:51 PM
I want to know why many atheists (at least most of them I have seen) abuse and make fun of their parents....is it that atheists don't value their families...they don't respect what their parents did for them ? I am afraid that I will become one of those who start hating their parents and family members

I didn't know many atheists do, but this does depend on if their parents were caring or hurtful to them.

If one had loving parents, I would have thought atheists would be understanding enough to know they are lucky to break free - but that this doesn't mean there is any reason for them to still not love their parents.

If their parents were not loving - I don't know, but I guess there would be a lot more resentment.

I don't make fun of mine. I don't hate my family or parents. The only thing you can do is try and promote the good, liberal and forward things you see in them. E.g. an aunt is setting up a multi-racial playgroup, and would like to keep it secular rather than Islamic (which my uncle tries to enforce). So, I tell her waht a good job she is doing. Or tell my uber religious cousins to study and make as much use of the Internet.

Don't worry kartoos, you're not all of a sudden going to hate or make fun of your parents if they have been really loving to you.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #10 - July 29, 2011, 08:44 PM

Thank you guys for your support,
First, I don't consider that only "Muslims" know how to respect their parents.....in Asian cultures special respect for parents is there, but Islam take it to higher level...........but as I have been reading stories of atheists for more than a month and I have read many many stories of atheists.....most of them use "f**ck em up" , "bullshits" sort of words for their parents.....I cant even imagine using these words for my parents even if they kick me out of my home or break my hands and legs....

I just want to know that is it normal that when you leave religion and become atheist , then you start hating or abusing your parents even on small arguments like if they tell you that you are going to hell etc etc .. ? when atheists know that there is no hell or heaven then why they take such arguments from their parents or other family member/ friend so seriously ??

Again thanks....and this forum is so active...I got many replies within few hours.....gr8 .....

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #11 - July 29, 2011, 09:21 PM

I don't think atheism really changes who you are as a person, deep down inside you're still gonna be the same loving person but with different beliefs. and as long as your family accepts you as an atheist and doesn't give you hell about it I believe you'll be fine.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #12 - July 29, 2011, 09:36 PM

I think you refer to the fact that many apostates have a difficult time with their muslim parents... wich is completly understandable.

From the standpoint of a lifelong atheist that never had to leave any faith, i never felt anything else then love for my parents, and i never *abused* them, as you said.

I think you should clarify that... apostate doesnt mean atheist... and atheists are not one group of people who are all the same. Atheist just means, doesnt believe in gods / a god.(or fairytales or superstition and that kinda crap)

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #13 - July 29, 2011, 09:37 PM

Hai kartoos

Yeah what BahrainiKafira said.
You're making a sweeping statement. You haven't met all atheists and it's not consequential that if you're an atheist you will automatically maltreat your family. It all depends on the type of parents and the type of person who apostatizes. I can only speak for myself though and of course I respect/cherish my parents. They work hard to support me and give me an education and they want the best for me in this life (and the hereafter lol).

If you love your family as you say, I doubt you becoming an apostate will change those feelings. That won't stop them from reacting badly though. They may give you bullshit about your apostasy but then again they're victims themselves so how can you blame them?

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #14 - July 29, 2011, 09:43 PM

Quote from: kartoos on July 29, 2011, 08:44 PM
Thank you guys for your support,
First, I don't consider that only "Muslims" know how to respect their parents.....in Asian cultures special respect for parents is there, but Islam take it to higher level...........but as I have been reading stories of atheists for more than a month and I have read many many stories of atheists.....most of them use "f**ck em up" , "bullshits" sort of words for their parents.....I cant even imagine using these words for my parents even if they kick me out of my home or break my hands and legs....

I just want to know that is it normal that when you leave religion and become atheist , then you start hating or abusing your parents even on small arguments like if they tell you that you are going to hell etc etc .. ? when atheists know that there is no hell or heaven then why they take such arguments from their parents or other family member/ friend so seriously ??

Again thanks....and this forum is so active...I got many replies within few hours.....gr8 .....

Having read much of this forum, I have never read atheists here abusing or making fun of their parents. What I have read and still read is young atheists (ex-Muslims) being harassed, intimidated and abused by heir parents and families, and that goes as far as death threats.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #15 - July 29, 2011, 09:54 PM

Hey Kartoos, welcome to the forum

Where did you read these accounts of kids abusing their parents once they became atheists? Was it on this forum?

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #16 - July 29, 2011, 11:06 PM

I'm an atheist and I try hard not to disrespect my parents, because from where I'm standing they've tried their damndest to make my life better in many ways. Other atheists' attitudes may differ depending on the nature of the relationship with their parents. Of course one explanation for the cause of such strain is that the atheist was initially forcefed an unpalatable way of life, in this specific case Islam, and thus a certain amount of resentment would be understandable.

If on the other hand you consider the simple act of being an atheist disrespectful toward your parents, then I can't really help you. I simply don't find it disrespectful to follow the undertandings of your own reason and conscience, even if that understanding leads you away from the religion of your parents.

Also, welcome to the forums kartoos. Have a bunny rabbit!

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #17 - July 31, 2011, 09:14 AM

Quote from: kartoos on July 29, 2011, 05:51 PM
I want to know why many atheists (at least most of them I have seen) abuse and make fun of their parents....is it that atheists don't value their families...they don't respect what their parents did for them ?

Because without God, atheists have no moral compass. There is no basis for morality without God. There is no moral law without a moral lawgiver, so atheists are pretty much free to commit whatever crimes they feel like.

Too fucking busy, and vice versa.
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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #18 - July 31, 2011, 10:03 AM

The other day, my dad refused to give me a beer. I got really angry and I kicked his arse, I think he's learned his lesson now.
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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #19 - July 31, 2011, 10:07 AM

@ GRB, i hope he wouldnt dare force you to fast tomorrow.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #20 - July 31, 2011, 10:30 AM

Quote from: GRB on July 31, 2011, 10:03 AM
The other day, my dad refused to give me a beer. I got really angry and I kicked his arse, I think he's learned his lesson now.

Cool story bro

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #21 - July 31, 2011, 11:12 AM

Quote from: kartoos on July 29, 2011, 08:44 PM
First, I don't consider that only "Muslims" know how to respect their parents.....in Asian cultures special respect for parents is there, but Islam take it to higher level...........

lulwut?

i think you know very little about all the other cultures that exist out there on planet earth :|

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #22 - July 31, 2011, 11:25 AM

Quote from: Ishina on July 31, 2011, 09:14 AM
Because without God, atheists have no moral compass. There is no basis for morality without God. There is no moral law without a moral lawgiver, so atheists are pretty much free to commit whatever crimes they feel like.

I disagree. I know many people here who have been brought up without a religion, and that includes my children. Still those people have high moral standards. You can teach morals without religion.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #23 - July 31, 2011, 11:31 AM

Quote from: Hallakuf on July 31, 2011, 11:25 AM
I disagree. I know many people here who have been brought up without a religion, and that includes my children. Still those people have high moral standards. You can teach morals without religion.

I'm pretty sure she was being sarcastic
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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #24 - July 31, 2011, 11:38 AM

Quote from: kartoos on July 29, 2011, 08:44 PM
Thank you guys for your support,
First, I don't consider that only "Muslims" know how to respect their parents.....in Asian cultures special respect for parents is there, but Islam take it to higher level...........

Excuse me, but this is arrant nonsense. In what way does 'Islam' take respect for parents to a 'higher level'? Sounds like another example of how the only thing that Islam takes to a higher level is self-woshipping reverence and a debilitating insularity for itself.

There is nothing especially 'Islamic' about the focus of reverence for parents, it is not even just an Asian cultural trait, but it is pronounced in all of Asia from Japan, China, south east Asia and India, and runs into Africa (spend time with a Nigerian family and you'll see what I mean), and is a feature of the Levant and discernible in Meditteranean Europe too.

Chinese worship their ancestors for goodness sake.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #25 - July 31, 2011, 12:03 PM

I don't think anyone here disrespects their parents. At least not on purpose. By choosing to not follow Islam our parents think we are disrespecting them and their ancestors and start going all crazy. My parents even said so your family is full of idiots? I responded what was our family before? Christian? Pagan? Aren't you disrespecting them?

Most of us end up fighting internally because we are being abused by them, but we love them. I could name about 4 or 5 people and myself who want to move out and haven't because we know its a drastic change for us but especially for our parents.

I wish parents everywhere could remove their veil of religion and see their kids for whom they actually are.
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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #26 - July 31, 2011, 12:11 PM

Quote from: kartoos on July 29, 2011, 08:44 PM
Thank you guys for your support,
First, I don't consider that only "Muslims" know how to respect their parents.....in Asian cultures special respect for parents is there, but Islam take it to higher level....

But that's not really respect is it? It's more of a servile obedience type of thing.
Respect is always a two way street and it includes respect for an individual as such regardless of the fact that an individual might act in a way that contravenes the wishes of one's parents.
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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #27 - August 02, 2011, 07:04 AM

gr8 responses.....thnx thnx .... month of fasting has started...and lols I have to look here and there before drinking water before sunset

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #28 - August 02, 2011, 01:51 PM

Quote from: BerberElla on July 29, 2011, 06:33 PM

There are ex muslims here who still pretend to be muslims out of LOVE for their parents.

Sooo true! i am wasting my life out of love for my parents, literally wasting by pretending to be a muslim

and what you say is a huge generalization, all of my atheist friends are very respectful of their parents.

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Re: Why do so many atheists abuse and make fun of their parents?
Reply #29 - August 02, 2011, 02:15 PM

+1 Madame X

Quote from: BerberElla on July 29, 2011, 06:33 PM

There are ex muslims here who still pretend to be muslims out of LOVE for their parents.

I would like to hope I was one of those closet apostates who feared for her families happiness and didn't come out of the closet for over a year, and when I did it was beyond my control

Tbh sometimes it really hurts, when people say that only muslims know how to respect their parents, and if you're not a muslim you're automatically demoted to being rude and insolent. You don't know what half of us have to put up with, and what we go through, some of us don't even have parents who deserve the respect they get. But I guess these threads will always keep forming till people actually stop and think and humbly change their generalisations and stereotypes.
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