My experience with Christian hypocrisy

Another blurb from me
Three events in my life which I wanted to share about the hypocrisy of Christians

My step-mother

My step-mother is a hardcore Catholic. When I say hardcore I mean going to church in the middle of the week, praying multiple times a day reading psalms continuously etc. etc. However what does all this amount to I wondered growing up? Every Sunday when she returned from church she and my father would have bitter shout-fests. I thought going to church would make a you more loving and level-headed individual even in the face of adversity. I've also caught my step-mother red-handed, secretly taking things from me to give to her huge extended family. I knew in my heart this kind of behavior was wrong and at. My first dangerous free thinking thought was why did people who prayed to God still did selfish things?This was my first disappointment. I've have this arrogance that I feel like I live a honest life than those who claim to commit to God.

Conversation with a Christian friend

So I met this really amiable guy in the computer lab at school. We were helping each other in our 3D studio work and such. This guy was crazy hyperactive and liked to talk a lot with a big grin on his face. For some reason we were so comfortable talking to each other after a few weeks the dreadful topic of religion came up. I think the topic came up because he was showing me some music from christian bands on Youtube. He asked me if I was a Christian and if I believed in Jesus and the big sky daddy etc. I'm usually pretty level-headed and honest when it comes to discussing religion with others. Mostly because I find amusement at their reactions or responses.

c "Can I ask you a question?"

me " Yeah go ahead you can ask me anything. I'm open to anything."

c " What do you think happens when you die"

My first thought. Oh boy hear comes the whole threat about death. For some reason whenever I think about the topic of the after life I always think back to my history classes and how ancient civilizations viewed death. My most disdainful was when they believed burying slaves alive would ensure they joined their masters in the after life. The thought makes me cringe and as ridiculous and this sounds to us now I view the different explainations on death of all religions with the same skepticism. Suddenly all these different interpretations of death flood my mind. Reincarnation, heaven, the scientific explanation of the body just becoming energy and re-used in the universe.

me " I don't know really *shrug* I just accept death for what it is."

c " He looks away and shakes his head. Woah that's really unfortunate."

me " Why? "

c " Because if you don't believe in the heaven father and his son, your soul will be lost. I'm not trying to scare you."

me " No it's ok your not"

My other thought. Scare me? How can I explain to Christian as an agnostic that I've come to terms with death. Sure death is scary but it happens to everyone, but I find no reason to be bullied into any religion on the account of the unknown. I've been in airplanes and wistfully looked out the window 2 inches from death, and imagined what it'd be like to crash and die. Not one time have I thought about my religion playing a role in what would come afterwards. Scare me? After being exposed and learning about more kinder views of the afterlife from other religions and culture you usually feel more at ease. Death happens, and I don't take it for granted, I don't think I'm invincible but I find it useless to be absorbed about the unknown and have it dictate my life.

c " It's such a shame because you're such a nice person."

me " Well I just believe in doing good deeds"

c " Yes but it' not enough to get you into heaven. It's such a shame because there are so many good people out there but, those who don't believe, their souls will be gone forever.

me " ..."

More of my thoughts. The scary thing about this was how genuinely sorry this guy was for me. I mean he wasn't being threatening about it he was being sympathetic on my behalf and genuinely upset knowing that he was not going to be able to save my poor soul. Another thing that makes me rage about the arrogance of Christians and other religions. That the person who feeds a 100 hunger children has no worth in the eyes of God compared to someone who just gets on their knees, bends over or whatever the fuck everyday grovelling at the sky daddy's feet daily. God can't seem to make up his mind about what is more important, him or his creations emotional needs and comfort. On the bright side he didn't say anything about hell, which is actually the the correct interpretation of my fate. I applaud him for laying it down gently for me.

More of this conversation was about him and how he was a non-believe like me and then one day he just got down his knees and wept because Jesus found him etc. etc. and he hopes I can find the light soon. Throughout this conversation I had a calm expression I nodded and smiled politely, but still listened intently because I have this unhealthy curiosity about the various psychology behind the religious mind. We're still friends surprisingly ^_^; I was half expecting him to shun me for my beliefs or rather non-beliefs. I don't think the conversation of religion has come up since then, because thankfully that conversation ended on a light note.

I realized at this moment that there might be no hope for me returning to religion because the consequence and fear of death is the central core of one's beliefs and I have never been that fearful about death. In a strange way I take comfort in the world's confusion about the afterlife and the literally hundreds of interpretations. Some of which require no deity or lifestyle commitment. Once you learn about them the fear eases.

Agnostic in Sheep's clothing. My Ex the last straw.

This was a recent even that was the last straw for me.

So I started going to church again when I was with my ex. However, not really for any spiritual reasons just more social and amusement. I don't even know if I can call it church. It was a non-denominational church with a live rock band, trippy rave lights with people singing modern praises. Now this kind of worship I can get behind. I just came for the music sadly too. So anyways my ex- was involved in the ministry and I happily got behind going out in the square and distributing warm food to the homeless. I even helped out with checking in children to the Sunday school. No one had to know I was an agnostic and thought all this was a bunch of bullshit. That was not my concern, regardless of beliefs I was there with a smile willingly to aid and assist anyway I could. Blended right in.

Now my ex had and still has issues. Severe depression, an obsession with cutting himself occasionally, smoking, doing pot (which I know is harmless but I don't support it because of the legal consequences), drinks alcohol everyday. I'm thinking, oh it's ok because he's a Christian and he goes to church and he has a good heart and that's what matters. Even if he was a flat out hypocrite. He often boasts about accepting the church is despite his ugly lifestyle.

Now here is the irony. He knew full well I was agnostic and I often had to quote the Bible to him. Here's a list of the hypocrisy I had to deal with

- He asked to get into my pants early in the relationship and I said. Woah I'm not even Christian and I believe in no sex before marriage, you should know better.

- He often leaves in the middle of the sermon to go take a smoke. I always sat for the entire thing and actually listened intently. After church he'd never remember what it was about.

- He's pro marijuana... which I think is quite odd for a Christian and I think is a conflict of interest. I kept asking him and encouraging him to quit because it could lead to trouble, or jail. He says he'll be a martyr for the cause of weed.

- He's bought cigarettes and alcohol for underage people. As a person in the church ministry I find this behavior horrible.

- One Sunday we skipped church. I made a joke that were suppose to be in church instead of making out and he was upset. I'm not even Christian, and I had no obligation to go, but I was still disappointed because it was something more meaningful we did together instead of making out. I actually wanted to go.

- Smoking, he knew full well I'm asthmatic. Also at church he always smelt like cigarettes, it's horrible. I tried to encourage him to just Stop for like 3 hrs before and during church, because he's always around people because he's very social. Nope.

So those were the main hypocrisies I had to deal with. And you know what happened? I get dumped. Why!.. cause I'm agnostic.
He told me that it was bothering him for awhile and that in the Bible he said people should be together who are of the same yolk (or whatever bullshit it said). I said... wait a minute, you mean out of all he non-Christian things you are involved with.. excessive drinking, smoking drugs, breaking camps rules and partying with drugs, you decide to cut me first? I try to encourage you not to do any of those things and to live a purer life. I'm not even Christian but I follow a Christian lifestyle much closer than most Christians I know and you decide that because I don't believe in Jesus I'm no good. Huh?

That was a blessing in disguise for my sake, because I had to put up with so much bullshit and it was such a relief.
Later he tried to get me back and admitted someone from church told him to dump me because he was in an unGodly relationship Cheesy

Oh woah I could laugh with tears for that one. Someone whoever it was from the church home which I loved despite being a non-believer betrayed me. Screw that bullshit.

-----

So there you have it. A little blurb about the three main events in my life and some thoughts which I really just wanted to share.