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Theme Changer

 Topic: How to make and keep friends

 (Read 3531 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • How to make and keep friends
     OP - September 06, 2011, 12:50 AM
    Upon reflecting on some words in the last friendship thread, I've realized that I totally need some help in making and keeping friends. I have to sadly admit that I have never kept in touch with any of my friends outside of my immediate family, so this is kind of going to be a new thing for me.

    Please let me know in detail 1. How you make your friends, 2. How you keep in touch with them over time, 3. (optionally) How your friendships have been rewarding to you.

    Thanks guys.  grin12
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #1 - September 06, 2011, 12:53 AM
    1st in thread! WOOT
    Join us on chat. Click here.
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #2 - September 06, 2011, 12:56 AM
    Who needs friends?  Tongue






    WE ARE THE BORG, ASSIMILATE..
    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #3 - September 06, 2011, 12:57 AM
    But seriously, I ain't the most sociable person, but a text or two a day helps a lot in making and keeping in touch with friends. Organise a small get together or something, call up a few people. Just try not to be shy about it and be yourself so you feel comfortable, making it pleasant to be in their company. A lot of my friends were made in school classes and activities I signed up to do, just stop thinking about 'how' and go out and 'do' it.  Smiley
    Join us on chat. Click here.
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #4 - September 06, 2011, 12:59 AM
    You approach someone on the street and hump their legs. If they respond positively, you made a friend.
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #5 - September 06, 2011, 01:29 AM
    Keeping friends?  Cheesy  soooo funny.  This is clearly a skill I have only just gained since the only friends I have, well the longest running one of the lot is 7yrs.

    The newest is a year and a half.

    I'm better at keeping them now it seems, but honestly only because they call me. 

    Its not because I don't care.  I do care about my friends, but I get lost in my own thoughts sooooo much that I forget to make contact.  Thankfully my friends these days understand that and know I still care even though I vanish.

    But I lost all my old friends that way.

    As to making friends, my current bestests were made in a women's refuge, or online, and my best friend from college.

    I found making friends in a refuge easy, and online easy, but in college she made friends with me, since I am pretty anti social anyway. 

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #6 - September 06, 2011, 02:10 AM
    What the hell was Hassan doing in a women's refuge, berbs?

    "That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #7 - September 06, 2011, 02:18 AM
     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #8 - September 06, 2011, 02:47 AM
    What Hassan usually does. Corrupt innocent Muslimahs into the ways of the filthy infidel.
    We are in favor of tolerance, but it is a very difficult thing to tolerate the intolerant and impossible to tolerate the intolerable.

    -George Dennison Prentice
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #9 - September 06, 2011, 05:48 AM
    I wear really really tight jeans and lipstick. All the inmates love me.  Afro
    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #10 - September 27, 2011, 02:45 AM
    I never consider making friends as a skill,if thats the case, i can easily make one but hardly keep one, though i push some of them away and distance myself  from them.Im quite good at distancing myself from people for various reasons, i dunno how i do that.

    But the most interesting part about this life is that i keep making new friends wherever i go, there are some that i cant remember their names until in the middle of conversation.Thanks to facebook i keep in touch with most of them occasionally and i remove the ones that i dont see any benefit of continuing our friendship.However in the last four years i havent been making a lot like i used to before,though i dont think one would lack a friend in IRL unless he doesnt want to.

    Its strange how i abandoned my high school friends of all people in my life,the closest one who sat beside me for 3 years in class ended up becoming Ustaz and conservative which affected our friendship.

    Asbdsp, no need to be worried just be yourself as you are online,you wont have a problem.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #11 - September 27, 2011, 03:00 AM
    Thanks for the advice, and the reassurance Naija.  Afro

    I think the natural, organic route is probably the best way for this for me. Don't try to force things, just be myself. The problem used to be that myself was a turtle in a shell, lol. But fortunately I think that has changed to a large extent.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #12 - September 27, 2011, 03:20 AM
    Quote from: stardust on September 06, 2011, 12:56 AM
    Who needs friends?  Tongue

    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #13 - September 27, 2011, 03:34 AM
    Quote from: stardust on September 06, 2011, 12:56 AM
    Who needs friends?  Tongue




    Even god needs friends, hence us
    At evening, casual flocks of pigeons make
    Ambiguous undulations as they sink,
    Downward to darkness, on extended wings. - Stevens
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #14 - September 29, 2011, 01:40 AM
    .
    You need to read this book.
  • Re: How to make and keep friends
     Reply #15 - September 29, 2011, 02:57 AM
    Quote from: asbdsp on September 06, 2011, 12:50 AM

    Please let me know in detail 1. How you make your friends, 2. How you keep in touch with them over time, 3. (optionally) How your friendships have been rewarding to you.

    Thanks guys.  grin12


    1.  BE the friend(s) that you want to attract

    2.  Ive always been horrible at keeping up, but I travelled most of my life
    and its hard.  But with today's technology, they are only a click away. 
    Friend them on facebook Smiley  even if you dont talk everyday, they are only
    a "poke" away.  Give as much as you take.

    3.  They have saved my life, MANY MANY TIMES!
     
    They enriched my life like my family never EVER could/would. 

    They were and are my family!

    A good friend will take your call at 3 am when you cant sleep.

    Trusted friends make you feel safe.

    You can be yourself and they still love you lol.
    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #16 - May 03, 2014, 12:08 AM
    So basically, upon further reflection I've realized that this continues to be the biggest failure in my life.

    I've resolved to fucking own at friendship after my finals are over. I will friend the shit out of so many people. They will be friended so hard, their ancestors will feel my the warmth of friendishness.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #17 - May 03, 2014, 01:50 AM
    You have put that very well. They will be good friends.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #18 - May 03, 2014, 01:53 AM
    Yes, they will.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #19 - May 03, 2014, 01:54 AM
    Quality over quantity.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #20 - May 03, 2014, 02:04 AM
    Yeah, that's why I mentioned that I'll friend the shit out of them.

    Hard.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #21 - May 03, 2014, 02:12 AM
    Do you find it hard to connect with people in the offline world?
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #22 - May 03, 2014, 03:19 AM
    Depends how you define "connect". Actually I'd say that my struggle in this regard largely mirrors my experience in the online world also.

    No problem introducing myself to people, making small-talk, whatever. But then, unless there's some reason that forces us to continue to interact, like work or school or something, relationships just disappear.

    Not to mention, I don't actually trust anyone.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #23 - May 03, 2014, 04:22 PM
    So how do you define friend? Can you have a friend you don't trust?
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #24 - May 04, 2014, 11:55 AM
    asbie, please keep notes of your endeavour. I would like to use it if you are successful!!!
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #25 - May 04, 2014, 01:43 PM
    Asbie is cool. He just needs to relax, be patient and...

    relax and be patient.
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #26 - May 04, 2014, 02:27 PM
    ^ Right. You're a funny guy, asbie. Just relax and make them laugh, and don't over-think it, and they'll gravitate towards you. Keep "situational" friends by inviting them to hang out with you or accompany you to other activities you're doing at the time. Maintain them by every once and a while calling/texting/whatever to chat with them and ask them how they're doing. If you ever find you have common interests, exploit that! They won't know what hit them.  yes
  • How to make and keep friends
     Reply #27 - May 04, 2014, 04:36 PM
    Quote from: David on May 04, 2014, 01:43 PM
    Asbie is cool. He just needs to relax, be patient and...

    relax and be patient.


    http://youtu.be/7WZ33w3B8Hw

    Edit: I don't know why the YouTube video won't automatically embed itself in the post...   Cry
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