Skip navigation
Sidebar -

Advanced search options →
↑ ↓
CEMB → Forum → Genders and Sexualities → Women & Islam → Arranged Marriages

Welcome

Welcome to CEMB forum.
Please login or register. Did you miss your activation email?

Donations

Help keep the Forum going!
Click on Kitty to donate:

Kitty is lost

Recent Posts

What music are you listen...
by zeca
Today at 08:08 PM
Gaza assault
Today at 07:56 PM
Qur'anic studies today
by zeca
Today at 05:07 PM
New Britain
Yesterday at 05:41 PM
اضواء على الطريق ....... ...
by akay
Yesterday at 09:02 AM
Marcion and the introduct...
by zeca
November 19, 2024, 11:36 PM
Lights on the way
by akay
November 19, 2024, 06:36 AM
Dutch elections
by zeca
November 15, 2024, 10:11 PM
Random Islamic History Po...
by zeca
November 15, 2024, 08:46 PM
AMRIKAAA Land of Free .....
November 07, 2024, 09:56 AM
Do humans have needed kno...
November 04, 2024, 03:51 AM
The origins of Judaism
by zeca
November 02, 2024, 12:56 PM

Theme Changer

 Poll

  • Question: Would you consider joining in an arranged marriage?
  • Yes, probably will.
  • Have considered it.
  • Probably not, but depends on the situation/cicumstances.
  • No, not even if it was with the last man on the planet.
  • I'd sooner procure a gun and resist to my dying breath.

 Topic: Arranged Marriages

 (Read 16532 times)
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Arranged Marriages
     OP - September 14, 2011, 06:13 AM
    A question for the ladies:

    How many of you would consider accepting an arranged marriage proposal?

    Please be honest and provide reasons/circumstances for why you would or would not. Thanks for everyone's feedback.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #1 - September 14, 2011, 06:20 AM
    If you say yes, my parents will not be knocking at your door. Just in case any of you were getting any weird impressions from the OP.  Roll Eyes
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #2 - September 14, 2011, 09:09 AM
    Voted last. Simply because if my parents arrange a marriage for me it will be with a muslim, and I'd rather die than marry a muslim.

    But my parents wouldn't do that. They're not the type to force me into marriage. I think.
    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #3 - September 14, 2011, 09:09 AM
    Sometimes we tend to forget that men too are victim of that too though i agree women are the ones in most cases.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #4 - September 14, 2011, 01:34 PM
    I could never do it, even as a child I found the concept horrifying. Hence why I am the social outcast.
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #5 - September 14, 2011, 01:56 PM
    I voted "Probably not, but depends on the situation/cicumstances"  the circumstances being only if we had got to know each other first, fell in love and wanted to be together anyway.
    "The greatest general is not the one who can take the most cities or spill the most blood. The greatest general is the one who can take Heaven and Earth without waging the battle." ~ Sun Tzu

  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #6 - September 14, 2011, 01:58 PM
    No. Considered it briefly when I was a young'un and thought I had no choice in the matter. Then, grew up after realizing there is always a choice, no matter what. Not that my parents would have forced me into it anyway. But just the thought of not having met the person on my own, not having an organic basis for the relationship... just can't stomach the idea of living with someone, having sex with, waking up everyday next to, sharing my life with, and making a family with someone who was chosen for me by other people.... is and has always been repulsive to me.
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #7 - September 14, 2011, 01:59 PM
    Quote from: Maya on September 14, 2011, 01:56 PM
    I voted "Probably not, but depends on the situation/cicumstances"  the circumstances being only if we had got to know each other first, fell in love and wanted to be together anyway.


    Yeah that's different. But at least in South Asian cultures, that would not be what's called "arranged marriage".
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #8 - September 14, 2011, 02:02 PM
    Quote from: Naija Infidel on September 14, 2011, 09:09 AM
    Sometimes we tend to forget that men too are victim of that too though i agree women are the ones in most cases.


    TOTALLY agree. My uncle is a perfect example of this. Poor guy... he's had a bypass surgery recently... his family got his marriage arranged, and he's been paying the price for the last 30 years, for not having had the courage to say no. He, unlike his sisters, could have said no, but he didn't, due to family pressure.
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #9 - September 14, 2011, 02:05 PM
    Quote from: allat on September 14, 2011, 01:59 PM
    Yeah that's different. But at least in South Asian cultures, that would not be what's called "arranged marriage".


    Yes I understand that allat and in those and any other circumstances where you have no say in the matter at all then my answer would be:  No never.
    "The greatest general is not the one who can take the most cities or spill the most blood. The greatest general is the one who can take Heaven and Earth without waging the battle." ~ Sun Tzu

  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #10 - September 14, 2011, 02:13 PM
    Quote from: Maya on September 14, 2011, 02:05 PM
    Yes I understand that allat and in those and any other circumstances where you have no say in the matter at all then my answer would be:  No never.


     yes
    From what I know, there are variations of this from outright forced marriages to arranged marriages (arranged between families but with varying levels of consent from the couple) and semi-arranged marriages (which is what you described above i.e. the couple knows each other and is in love and wants to be married, and then the families get involved in working out the details).

    I have friends (originally from Pakistan but having grown up in N. America) who have been going through that last scenario. And from what they tell me, that's pretty hellish too. Grin
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #11 - September 14, 2011, 04:02 PM
    I voted #3, probably not, but really my vote is between #3 and #4, because if it was the last man on the planet then he must be one hellavuh stud to have survived beyond all other men Tongue

    In seriousness, my answer would be simply "no." But I suppose it does depend on the surrounding circumstances. Are we talking a sight-unseen marriage? Or the type that typical Muslims promote, where the family recommends someone and the two have the opportunity to get to know each other before hand? The latter might be somewhat palatable, but as Naerys said, it would mean it's a Muslim, and there are just no guarantees when it comes to Muslim men and how they will behave in the power-bloated position of Husband.

    So yeah, just no.
    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
    - 32nd United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #12 - September 14, 2011, 04:21 PM
    What if your arranged spouse was way hot, like when Apu saw Mandula in that Simpsons episode?
    fuck you
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #13 - September 14, 2011, 05:10 PM
    What if you were arranged to marry Kim Kardashian??
    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #14 - September 14, 2011, 05:18 PM
    usually "arranged marriages" means just recommendations from the fam. But like 2 people have mentioned he probably would be muslim. currently ive been set up to meet with this guy and ive done a bit of background checking and maybe ill meet him. lol
    I wish parents everywhere could remove their veil of religion and see their kids for whom they actually are.
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #15 - September 14, 2011, 05:21 PM
    Quote from: Jesus Christ on September 14, 2011, 05:10 PM
    What if you were arranged to marry Kim Kardashian??


    I'd have to arrange for my dick to be big and black.
    fuck you
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #16 - September 14, 2011, 05:25 PM
    Quote from: Colonel Q-Daffi on September 14, 2011, 05:21 PM
    I'd have to arrange for my dick to be big and black.


    Cheesy
    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #17 - September 14, 2011, 06:47 PM
    Quote from: Jesus Christ on September 14, 2011, 05:10 PM
    What if you were arranged to marry Kim Kardashian??


    If she said yeah, why not?. Anything for the badunkadunk. yes
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #18 - September 14, 2011, 06:54 PM
    I think I can resist getting an arranged marriage, but I don't think I can marry anyone of my choice...unless he was muslim bengali then they might consider it after making their judgements on him 'is he educated enough' basically is he aiming to get lots of money...pretty much it
    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #19 - September 14, 2011, 07:08 PM
    ^Right, and then later he will find a way to revert you back to Islam, good idea Afro
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #20 - September 14, 2011, 07:28 PM
    I would not simply because, it sucks when someone you do like shows up in your life and you're trapped.
    ***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #21 - September 14, 2011, 07:36 PM
    Quote from: stardust on September 14, 2011, 06:54 PM
    I think I can resist getting an arranged marriage, but I don't think I can marry anyone of my choice...unless he was muslim bengali then they might consider it after making their judgements on him 'is he educated enough' basically is he aiming to get lots of money...pretty much it


    I guess find a tall, good looking and muscular muslim bengali guy...

    ....
    ...
    ..



     Cheesy Cheesy good looking, tall, muscular bengali guy  Cheesy  Cheesy

    Good luck....  mysmilie_977
    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #22 - September 14, 2011, 07:38 PM
    If I had to pick the thing about desi culture that I hate the most, it would be the arranged-marriage-culture-thingy. Yeah. That. Down with this sort of thing.

    Seriously: my parents' marriage has basically pretty much ensured that I will never consent to an arranged marriage. Ever. grin12
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #23 - September 14, 2011, 07:39 PM
    i recently met a woman who was forced into an arranged muslim marriage (she only met him
    twice before the wedding).  Said he was sooooo hawt, but they dont get along AT ALL!
    He does his "obligation" WITHOUT her consent, just rolls on, boom, and rolls off, in
    hopes of producing a son for his parents.  sooooo fucking sad!
    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #24 - September 14, 2011, 07:40 PM
    Quote from: Jinn and Tonic on September 14, 2011, 07:39 PM
    just rolls on, boom, and rolls off, in
    hopes of producing a son for his parents.



     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #25 - September 14, 2011, 07:44 PM
    Quote from: Jinn and Tonic on September 14, 2011, 07:39 PM
    i recently met a woman who was forced into an arranged muslim marriage (she only met him
    twice before the wedding).  Said he was sooooo hawt, but they dont get along AT ALL!
    He does his "obligation" WITHOUT her consent, just rolls on, boom, and rolls off, in
    hopes of producing a son for his parents.  sooooo fucking sad!

    You somehow managed to make me Cheesy and Cry at the same time.
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #26 - September 14, 2011, 07:56 PM
    Interesting and insightful answers so far guys.  Afro

    And lol at Jinn and Tonic's story. Wow, I don't even know what to say about guys like that...
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #27 - September 14, 2011, 08:08 PM
    huh?  i dont see whats funny about my post, the man is
    raping her at his slightest whim.
    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
    Helen Keller
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #28 - September 14, 2011, 08:09 PM
    It was your phrasing JnT Tongue
    fuck you
  • Re: Arranged Marriages
     Reply #29 - September 14, 2011, 08:11 PM
    It sounded more like he was jerking off on her.
    Formerly known as Iblis
  • 12 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »