How many Philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
OP - September 30, 2011, 06:51 PM
Socrates (469-399 BCE)
"A light bulb unexamined is not worth changing."
Plato (circa 427 - circa 347 BCE)
"There is no need to change the light bulb because the only true light is knowledge."
Aristotle (384-322 BCE)
"First we must understand what we mean by change."
Epicurus (circa 342-270 BCE)
"We must consider whether changing the light bulb will bring pleasure or pain before we decide whether to change it at all."
St Augustine (354-430)
"God controls the destiny of the light bulb, and man has the free will to choose whether to change the light bulb or to live in darkness."
Thomas Aquinas (circa 1225-1274)
"Man, endowed with both intelligence and a will, uses his intelligence to determine whether the light bulb needs to be changed, and can use his will to change the light bulb if he wishes to do so."
Francis Bacon (1561-1626)
"Man can consider objectively whether the light bulb needs to be changed, but ultimately subject himself to the will of God and change the light bulb."
Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679)
"The dead light bulb, subject to the laws of cause and effect, causes man to deliberate until he reaches the final desire to change the light bulb, an act which is predetermined."
"The light bulb is subject to a predetermined mechanical process based on the laws of cause and effect, but man is free to choose whether or not to change it."
Benedict Spinoza (1632-1677)
"God is the light bulb, and the light bulb is God, who set everything in the universe into motion on a predetermined course, a successive chain of cause and effect in which the light bulb dies, man changes the light bulb, the light bulb dies again, and so on."
John Locke (1632-1704)
"Every individual has the power to decide whether he wishes to change the light bulb, and by gathering ideas about the light bulb from experience, man comes up with the notion of whether the light bulb needs changing."
Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz (1646-1716)
"The millions of independent, self-determined monads that comprise man freely decide whether the individual's strongest desire is to change the light bulb, and if so, they collectively strive to do so."
George Berkeley (1685-1753)
"A working light bulb is an idea in God's mind and exists spiritually, not materially."
Voltaire (1694)
"This is the best of all possible light bulbs."
David Hume (1711-1776)
"The existence of the light bulb cannot be proven, and therefore it does not need to be changed."
Immanuel Kant (1724-1804)
"Although it is impossible to prove the existence of the light bulb, man needs to change the light bulb in order to see clearly at night."
Johann Gottlieb Fichte (1762-1814)
"An individual ego that is a part of the Absolute ego of the universe changes the light bulb."
Friedrich Ernst Daniel Schieiermacher (1768-1834)
"God and the light-bulb are one, and an individual ego, bestowed with the ability to change a light bulb, must do so to help enable the Absolute to fully realize itself."
Georg Wilheim Friedrich Hegel (1770-1831)
"Changing the light bulb allows the universe to continue unfolding and evolving, enabling God to become self-conscious."
Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
"Although the light bulb has the will to change itself, it cannot effect this change without the help from the will of man, who, if he desires enlightenment, need not sacrifice his own self-interests to do so."
John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)
"Whether an individual will change a light bulb depends on several factors, including the desire of the individual."
Friedrich Nietzche (1844-1900)
"The light bulb is dead."
Martin Heidegger (1889-1976)
"The phenomena of the light-bulb-as-such prompts a confrontation with nothingness in which man must first come to grips with the truth of being-itself in the totality of Being."
Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
"Man despairs over the dead light bulb and feels anxiety toward the futility of changing it, but by doing so, he introduces meaning into the world and realizes himself."
Little Fly, Thy summer's play
My thoughtless hand has brushed away.
I too dance and drink, and sing,
Till some blind hand shall brush my wing.
Therefore I am a happy fly,
If I live or if I die.
Topic: How many Philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?