Re: Care of the Elderly
Reply #13 - October 14, 2011, 01:53 PM
Hassan, IMHO, when the time comes that a family can no longer
take care of the elder, and they need more help than the family
or person can provide, I dont see any problem getting them the
professional care they need.
One thing thats hard though. The elder will protest, just one more
thing that deprives them of independence, and its a hard choice when
the elder objects. For them, they know that its one step closer to the
grave, and they can really throw some fits or temper tantrums around
the idea. In my case, my dad felt we were abandoning him, just getting
rid of a "burden", and less independence. Thats what really upset him.
Like when he lost his driver's license because he was no longer
able to drive safely. Its emotional turmoil and very difficult to get
them to understand why they can no longer drive.
Then theres the guilt of having to have someone else take care of them.
Asked many times if we had done the right thing, but quickly reminded
we were all unable to provide him the daily medical care he needed.
If one is capable to do things like bathe them, clean and change them,
assist them to and from their bed/room. If they are still able to eat
on their own, or with some assistance, IMO, keep them at home.
My dad got so excited when my sister would bring her kids over.
Being near his grandkids sent his spirits soaring.
There is also the mental challenges. My dad regressed to that of a
five year old in his mind. Threw temper tantrums, would cook him
what he asked for, then say it tasted like crap and would storm off.
Turn childlike and very oppositional defiant. Would go to the garage
in the middle of the night just to sit in his car and then not want to
get out of it. In these cases, I wouldnt send them to the state, but
definitely look for support either from family or care giver support
groups, cuz honestly, I was ready to pull my hair out. I would take
off in my car and just scream as loud as i could, and come back to my
senses that its not his fault he is like this. What do you do when he
locks himself in his room and sob for hours on end? Justified to send
him tot he state? No. But very taxing on the rest of us.
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
Helen Keller
Topic: Care of the Elderly