Thinking of the opposite sex

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- Stardust
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Thinking of the opposite sex
OP - November 06, 2011, 12:02 PM

I realised another brainwash that islam/asian culture has done on me was to see men as very different to women, I've always believed I thought that men and women are alike etc etc, but the other day I was with two male 'colleagues' from uni and I felt comfortable the fact that they were males had no bearing whatsoever on the way I felt being around them.

..Which normally would, usually I would hmm, my behaviour would be slightly different around guys (subconsciously). The other day for the first time I felt that it just didn't matter, they were 'HUMAN' first. And all my 'prejudices' against men (being mainly cheaters, untrustworthy fundamentally etc) they faded and then it clicked that guys are more like girls (and vice versa) than I imagined.

Not interacting much with guys my whole life (except my brothers(different dynamics there), one ex-bf and a couple of not-so-close friends) for the majority of percentage of my view of men was built from other inputs (for example the medias skewed version of the 'man').

That's what the male/female segregation does to you, makes you disconnected on the human level to the opposite sex.

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

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- norabora
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Re: Thinking of the opposite sex
Reply #1 - November 06, 2011, 12:47 PM

I came to a similar realization.

I used to think all men thought about was sex and wanting sex with women....all the time. Now (of course if hes hot and i have a crush on him its a different story) they are just "people" and for the most part I rarely think about their gender.

I still interact with men and women differently, but I've found its slowly decreasing in differences. I love flirting and now I've opened up to actively flirting with women (I think being arab I can get away with this without anyone thinking anything)

I wish parents everywhere could remove their veil of religion and see their kids for whom they actually are.
- Quod Sum Eris
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Thinking of the opposite sex
Reply #2 - September 23, 2013, 08:47 AM

Quote from: Stardust on November 06, 2011, 12:02 PM
The other day for the first time I felt that it just didn't matter, they were 'HUMAN' first.

That's how I see people.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Thinking of the opposite sex
Reply #3 - September 23, 2013, 12:45 PM

^ I see people as animals, like any other.
- Jibbs
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Thinking of the opposite sex
Reply #4 - September 23, 2013, 06:10 PM

I saw men and women as different before Islam, during Islam and pretty sure I will see them as different without Islam. Why? Because they are different. I don't think treatment of each should be drastically different as Islam dictates, but I don't understand the desire for women to want exactly what men have or for everything to be equal. There are many things that we are equal on as humans, but there are many differences that I believe (not imposing on others) should be considered, to attain equality and fairness on a serious note I think we must acknowledge difference. A man cannot give birth, and I would dread the thought to put a female heavyweight boxer in the ring with a male heavy weight. For example competitive sport is very much sexually differentiated because physical differences can mean there is an unfair advantage etc. I know I went off topic a bit, I like having male friends but I like them for being different to my female friends.

"Make anyone believe their own knowledge and logic is insufficient and you'll have a puppet susceptible to manipulation."
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Thinking of the opposite sex
Reply #5 - September 23, 2013, 06:15 PM

Eh, men and women have physical differences. Men can't give birth, women can. the average man is stronger than the average woman. There are different social standards. I just don't assume and treat everyone as an individual.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Thinking of the opposite sex
Reply #6 - September 23, 2013, 06:22 PM

Yea that's, basically what I was trying to say in a long, drawn out, incomprehensible way

"Make anyone believe their own knowledge and logic is insufficient and you'll have a puppet susceptible to manipulation."
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Thinking of the opposite sex
Reply #7 - September 23, 2013, 06:25 PM

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Thinking of the opposite sex
Reply #8 - September 23, 2013, 11:16 PM

Quod - There are studies that show men and women are viewed differently by both men and women. There is a thread here, put your necromonger skills to good use. There are evolutionary reasons, I suspect, to have eye for discernment - you have managed to conquer it - well done.

I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
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Thinking of the opposite sex
Reply #9 - September 24, 2013, 07:34 AM

I never said we're exactly the same I just said I view people as individuals. some things are just apparent. I wouldn't be as rough with a woman as I would with a man.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Thinking of the opposite sex
Reply #10 - September 24, 2013, 09:11 AM

devilsadvokat, you actually got me thinking about this. I think when it comes to men and women I am aware of certain things that I take into account. Like I said above I'm aware that I'm stronger. If I was walking behind a woman in the middle of the night on my way home or whatnot I tend to hang back more than I would if it were a man. I'm aware that my heavy clumps as I walk behind her is probably more intimidating for her than it would be for a man.

Thinking about it there are a few things but it's something I acknowledge more on a subconscious level than it is a conscious one. Like recently I was in a club and I noticed a woman leave her drink for a few minutes and a bloke I'd vaguely noticed eyeing her up shifting towards it. he just put his drink down and I saw him pull out a fag and head outside but just automatically I had my eyes on him for the two second it took him to put down his drink and move away. Without thinking I was watching to see if he'd try to slip something into it. If it were a man who'd left his drink it wouldn't occur to me.

Just two random examples but there are more.

It's things that I do without really thinking about it. When I said I don't assume things about people as individuals and treat people as individuals I really am being honest, but there are certain things I can't help being aware of.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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